RFK Camp Big Ideas

This week was my 16th year of Royal Family Kids Camp.  Because they rotate through 5 themes (interrupted every 4 years by the Olympic theme), this is the third time I have experienced the year in which the Bible story is Joseph.  It is, hands down, my favorite theme.  That's not to negate the years in which we teach campers about Esther or David or Daniel, but there is something about the Joseph story that resonates with these kids because Joseph was part of an extremely dysfunctional family - I mean, his brothers made him a victim of human trafficking, for heaven's sake.  It is also because it is my favorite collection of Big Ideas (that's the name for each day's takeaway from the drama, the story, the object lesson, and the puppets).  All of the Big Ideas are great, but there is just something special about the collection of Big Ideas in the Joseph year.  They are important for our campers because of their life experiences, but I'm writing about them today because they are important for EVERYONE.

God is Trustworthy, Even When Things Are Hard - The connection to our campers is obvious here, but this year, it struck me more than ever what an important message this is for all of us.  During the pandemic lockdowns, I wrote to each of my students.  I wrote this exact thing in the cards I sent (although I think I added the word faithful).  Life is often hard, and being a Christian doesn't always make it easier; in fact, Jesus warned us that most of the time, following Him would make things harder.  Yet, we know that God is sovereign, which should be comforting because it frees us from the need to understand everything.  We can trust that he knows how the puzzle pieces fit together when we can't see the top of the box.

God Helps Me Make Choices - Kids from abusive backgrounds have few choices.  They didn't choose to be removed from their homes.  They don't choose to be moved in the middle of the night from one placement to another, and they certainly wouldn't choose to have it happen 8 times in two years, which one of our kids has had.  I'm not sure they even choose to come to camp.  However, like everyone, they will be faced with choices in their lives, and they need training in making them.  To that end, we have structured camp to give them tons of choices - about food, activities, what colors they want to make things, whether they want to swim in the deep end of the pool, and a million other things.  But we also talk to them about their biggest choice, whether to respond to God's Word.  And while we encourage them to do that, we know that only God can draw them to that choice.  This is true for all of us.  As we decide how to respond to God and his Word, he will help us make those choices. 

God Has Great Plans for Everyone - Before leaving for camp on Saturday, I asked a friend to pray for us and messaged him with some specifics.  One of the things I put in that message was about the cognitive effect of abuse and neglect.  It puts our kids in a constant state of alert for danger.  When your brain is in a perpetual state of fight or flight, there is little to no capacity to think about the future.  When our ancestors were running from a sabertooth tiger, they didn't think about what they would do the next day or what story they would tell around the fire.  They worried about surviving the moment.  While I thought a lot about the future as a child, hoping first to be an astronaut and then a vet, a pharmacist, and a physical therapist, until God finally showed me that I was going to teach physics, our campers don't necessarily have the cognitive capacity for that.  The activities we do for them often involve planning and overcoming challenges.  We want them to have a mental imprint of building something out of wood and then designing how to paint it.  We want them to look back on being nervous about riding a horse and then having the feeling of accomplishment after having done it.  We want them to discover a potential skill in engineering or artistry or sports and then have conversations with them about how they might use that skill in the future because we want them to think about having a future.  

But just yesterday, I was having an online conversation with a former student about God's plans.  He had posted a rather nihilistic image about how we work 8 hours to live for 4 and how we work 6 days to live for 1.  It was concerning to me that he thought work wasn't part of his life.  He responded that not everyone has the luxury of enjoying their jobs (like he didn't know that I spent some time cleaning arena bathrooms for minimum wage). What I told him is what I tell all of my students.  Whatever God puts in front of you to do each day IS your life, whether that is work or recreation or reading a book; and how we do it is an act of worship.  God has great plans for everyone.  Sometimes, those plans are big things, which is what we usually think about; but sometimes, those plans are about having a conversation with a co-worker, participating in a workout, or having dinner with a friend.  My friend Ben will appreciate it if I use this question and answer from the Westminster shorter catechism - Q: What is the chief end of man.  A. Man’s chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever.  This is what gives all of life and work and play dignity and value in service to God, whether you enjoy your job or not.  

God Helps Me Forgive - I don't need to write much about this one.  While our campers have some deep wounds from things that should never happen to them, we also know that unforgiveness leads to bitterness and resentment.  Most of us don't have injuries in our lives as deep as theirs, but we all have people in our life that we need to forgive.  We also know that we cannot forgive in our own strength or out of our own sinful nature.  Only God can put forgiveness in us.  This was communicated to our campers by those in charge of the program, but it was also communicated to the staff in our devotion time with the directors by telling us a story of forgiving her father by praying, "God, I don't feel this and can't do it.  Please put forgiveness in me."  She asked it for years until God finally did put that forgiveness in her.  

God Can Bring Good Out of Bad - At the end of the story of Joseph in Genesis 50 is one of the most well-known lines in the Old Testament, "As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good, to bring it about that many people should be kept alive, as they are today."  It can be hard for us to see how anything good can come out of bad situations, yet we know it does.  We all have a story we can tell about a time when things didn't happen the way we wanted them to, but now we are glad for that.  It doesn't mean we are glad the bad thing happened, but it means we are grateful that God can make good come from anything.  His plans are bigger and deeper and greater and more complex than we can ever fathom.  

I can't share photos that include campers' faces, but this picture is okay.  This is a child wrapping her flannel shirt around a cold adult.  It was a sweet moment of love and care that wouldn't have happened if situations were ideal.  When looking for how God brings good out of bad, it doesn't always have to be big things.  It can be moments like this one.

So, to bring this full circle, it is best if we remember that he is sovereign and we are not and that we would make terrible gods.  Then, we can trust him when things are hard and have the capacity to make choices and forgive and fulfill His plans for us, knowing that he will work things for his glory and our good.

When Everything Goes Wrong: The Best Camp Week Ever

I've been participating in Royal Family Kids Camp for the past fourteen years.  Last week was the best week of camp I've ever had.  I'm not the only one who feels that way.  Others have posted about it as well.  Reading that, you might think everything went according to our perfectly planned schedule.  If you think that, you would be wrong.  Many, many things went differently than we expected, but God used all of it to make a week of fun and bonding and great memories for some awesome kids.

As you can imagine, at a camp that takes place in North Carolina in July, the pool is an important part of our day.  The kids have at least one swim time each day, and on some days, there are two swim times.  At every meal, I ask kids about their favorite things.  Swimming is the most common answer.  So, when we found the pool was likely unavailable, it was a concern.  Many people had spent many hours working to repair the pool (which had apparently been leaking the year before).  The pool itself was fixed, but the repairs required digging up the concrete deck around the pool, so we couldn't get to it.  On Sunday, we believed it to be possible that the concrete would get poured on Monday, the pool inspected Tuesday morning, and that we would be back in business by Tuesday afternoon.  Then, we had a long, heavy rain on Sunday and a thunderstorm on Monday afternoon.  Concrete cannot be poured over wet ground, and it is unwise to pour it if it looks like it will be rained on before it sets; so that meant there would be no pool.  The adults were worried that this might make for a bad week, but alternate plans were made.  On Monday, the kids played water games (think your middle school field day activities), and then we rented an inflatable water slide.  The squeals and laughter coming from the kids on that slide were a sign to me that they didn't feel deprived.  

Because last year, we didn't have "real camp," we invited the kids whose last year it would have been to return this year.  That meant we had a group of graduates who were 12 and 13.  As you know, 13-year-olds don't enjoy the same things as 7-year-olds, so our director planned a sort of parallel camp schedule.  It wreaked all kinds of havoc with the schedule because we had to split the staff in ways we hadn't before.  Adding to that was the goal of keeping kids and adults in cohorts for CoVid reasons, so our poor directors kept having to schedule and reschedule where our people went.  While that was a challenge, it led to some people doing things they never had before.  I did two nights of counselor relief, an hour at bedtime when the counselors get a break and staff members spend time with their kids in the cabins.  I had never done it before because most of my work takes place in the evenings, but because of the challenging scheduling, I got to spend some sweet time giggling with delightfully creative girls who told me about their imaginary pets and sang very silly songs.  

On Tuesday, we were supposed to have a special event with the Super Skippers, a jump rope squad that teaches the kids how to do some tricks.  We have had them before, and they are amazing.  For some reason, they were unable to come.  With no time to plan an alternative, our evening activity became free-play with the birthday presents the kids received at dinner.  I took the opportunity to make one of my eleven Wal-Mart runs (no, that's not hyperbole), and when I returned, I found groups of kids and counselors playing basketball, swinging and climbing on playground equipment, playing with slinkies, and riding bikes.  Have that one hour of unscheduled time was nice for them.  All the things we plan are awesome, and too much downtime would lead to problems, but that one hour was lovely and made going to bed that night a bit easier because they weren't transitioning from a super high energy activity.

Because we are considered a compassionate charity and work with children in foster care, there are some things were are not allowed to do.  One of those is holding altar calls.  We are free to teach Bible stories and pray with kids and respond to their questions, but we are not allowed to ask them to come forward or raise their hands, etc.  Of course, that means we also tell anyone we have invited that they cannot do it either.  The magicians we invited to perform on Thursday went right up to that line, and every adult in the room was scared they were going to cross it.  While it shouldn't have happened, God still used it because the kids asked their counselors questions that led to important conversations.

I'm not sure I've ever had a week at camp where more changed from the original plan, but I also don't think I've ever had a camp week where it seemed every kid had a good experience.  That's not to say we didn't have drama and tears (We had some 13-year-old girls, remember), but at the end of the week, they went home with the experience of riding a horse for the first time or finding the items on a treasure hunt or building a wood project they could be proud of. They took home a bracelet or keychain or checkers board or hat or decorative rock or painting or fuse bead necklace or Lego project or tie-dyed pillowcase (we have a lot of crafts) they enjoyed making.  They went home with the memory of singing and dancing with people who treated them kindly and a CD and CD player so they could listen to those songs and make those memories last.  Their photo albums will serve as a touchstone to remember all of these moments and relationships when their lives are hard and they don't feel important.  They won't remember that the schedule changed or that the Super Skippers bailed.  We hope they will remember that they are loved by a group of adults who will always hold them in their hearts.  

Just For Two

As a yearbook photographer, I am accustomed to documenting great experiences.  From homecoming dances to sports, I have been privileged to record some of the happiest and most meaningful school events.  As an RFK camp photographer, I recognize the meaning of sending kids home with a record of their positive memories. This weekend, I documented an amazing experience.  It was amazing, not because of its large scope, but because of its small scope.  Twenty masked adults came together to create a camp experience for TWO campers.  

This Week's RFK Staff

For those who are not regular readers of this blog, let me back up and explain RFK.  Royal Family Kids, Inc. is an international organization that provides summer camp for abused and neglected children using volunteers that have been trained to meet their needs and create life-changing moments and positive memories.  Normally, this is a five day overnight camp.  Adults arrive on Sunday and transform a basic campground into a vibrant and welcoming place for kids literally overnight.  With bright and happy cabins, a pretty elaborate theatrical stage, a beautifully decorated dining hall, a highly productive woodworking station, and, of course, a fully outfitted pool, nearly 40 kids arrive on a bus to be welcomed by an enthusiastic group of adults that are thrilled to see them.  That enthusiasm is maintained until we say goodbye to them on Friday.

As with all things, COVID-19 prevented us from having anything resembling normal camp.  Our directors tried to create a plan, but there was just no way to make it work with proper distance, and I cannot imagine masks all day outside for five days in mid-July.  Most camps sent kids gifts and notes, calling it "camp in a box," but our directors wanted more for our kids.  They wanted them to have social interaction during this isolating time.  So, they created a "camp experience" for three hours on three Saturdays, allowing campers' parents to choose which location worked for them (as our kids are spread out all over Eastern NC).  The first week, we had 22 kids signed up, but by the time the event came, we were down to 13 due to symptoms or exposure.  Those 13 had a ball, building a wooden crate, hydro dipping cups, playing field games, singing camp songs, learning Romans 8:39, and receiving medals and birthday gifts.  

This week, we were supposed to have 6 kids, but by Thursday, we had heard from four who couldn't come.  We put on the exact same camp experience for them that we had for the 13 last week.  There were 22 people at this event, only two of which were our campers.

I don't know if those two boys went home yesterday saying, "Twenty adults loved me enough to put on the camp just for me."  I hope, in 2030, when we are all looking back on this time, that might be an insight they have.  I hope the photo album they will receive in a few weeks will send that message to them every day.

It's been a few weeks since this education blog was actually about education, so let me make a connection.  School will be starting again in just under a month.  Depending on where you live, some schools will be fully online while others will open partially in person.  Either way, students are going to look to their teachers for tone.  They are going to see us do hard things, whether that is trying to figure out how to form relationships online at the beginning of the school year with kids you've never met or figuring out how to teach your in-person class while also involving those you are streaming to at home.  They are going to watch us work harder than we have ever worked before to do things in ways we have never done them before.  We are going to model learning in ways we could have never imagined before this year.  What I hope they feel from all of that is, "Wow, these people care about me enough to work this hard."  I hope they will recognize how much education matters.  I hope, when they are looking back on this time as adults many years from now, they will say to their children, "You have no idea how much teachers love their students.  I experienced it in 2020."  

Royal Family Kids 2019

"What kind of camp is it?" people ask.   The simple answer is what I usually give.  "It's a camp for foster children."  While true, it is a gross oversimplification of Royal Family Kids.  When I get home, they say, "How did it go?"  Again, the simple answer of "great" is not fully accurate.  It takes a while to recover from camp enough to really reflect on it, so now that I have had three nights' sleep, I might be ready.

What is Royal Family Kids Camp?  In 1985, Wayne and Diane Tesch started a week-long camp in the California mountains to give kids who had been abused or neglected a week away to enjoy what all kids should have the chance to enjoy, just being kids.  The goal was to create "moments that matter" and to give kids positive childhood memories.  In 1990, they decided to take the camp they had developed and make it a nationwide ministry.  As of this summer, RFK camps exist in forty-three states in America and seven countries.

To a casual observer, I don't think Royal Family would look much different than most Christian camps.  Other than noticing that there are a lot of adults, they would see kids playing games, shooting arrows, swimming, riding horses, learning Bible stories, having tea parties, building things from wood, and a myriad of other camp things. 

Even if the observer were to get a little closer, they might not know that this camp was designed specifically around the needs of abused kids.  They would hear counselors encouraging their campers to keep trying and praising their efforts at everything they do.  They would see lots of food and hear mealtime conversations in which kids are asked, "What's your favorite things we do at camp?"  They might note that the Bible stories are about unlikely heroes (David, Esther, Joseph), but they probably wouldn't put together why those stories were chosen. 

The truth is a person has to be part of Royal Family Kids camp to really get it.  When we attend training, we learn why we play games in which there is a goal to be reached but not ones in which one camper wins over another.  We want these kids to experience the joy of achieving a goal without feeling that another must experience a loss for that to be meaningful.  Mealtimes are times in which campers are served and allowed to have all they want to eat.  If a kid wants a salad that consists of nothing but croutons and bacon, the staff will happily make that salad.  There is no shortage of food for any camper.  The Bible stories are, in fact, stories of unlikely heroes.  Joseph's story, in particular, is one our campers can relate to as he came from a dysfunctional family and was abused and neglected by his brothers.  These stories are chosen with great purpose.  RFK wants their campers to see that God uses the small and the broken to accomplish His plans.  During our training times, we are taught how to view misbehavior as an expression of unmet needs and how to address and correct that behavior in a positive and relationship-building way rather than striving for simple compliance.  Because we know that some of our kids have a negative history with photographs, they are told up front who will be allowed to take their picture.  We make sure to get shots of siblings together because some of them only see each other during this one week of the year.  Every moment is thought about carefully with the core values of RFK in mind.  It is the intentionality of planning around the specific needs of kids from hard places and difficult pasts that make Royal Family different from other camps. 

This year was my 12th with Royal Family.  I have served in both of the North Carolina camps.  I have been a counselor and an assistant to the photographer.  Now, I am a co-photographer and video maker.  I have seen kids experience one week have an impact on their lives, and I have had the honor of seeing kids go through all seven years and leave us different people at the age of 12 than they were when they started with us at 6 years old.  You can see why "It's a camp for foster children" just isn't enough of an explanation.

I can't imagine July without this experience.  I'm not saying it is easy.  Counselors are emotionally present 23 hours a day, and some of the kids are prone to resist that investment.  That can leave you wrecked by Friday afternoon.  Activity assistants are constantly on the move.  They are either setting up an activity or putting it away or helping at the pool or rescuing a weary counselor or cleaning the cafeteria or trying to remember who wants half of a carrot on their salad (I cannot overstate the strangeness of the salad situation).  They must be physically spent by the night time, but for an hour each night, they cover at bedtime so the counselor can have one hour with adults.  The photographers are constantly on the move, trying to capture each camper's experience in a book of photos they receive on Friday.  I'm not certain the directors ever sleep at all.  When I say, "The week went great," I am telling the truth.  It's just that great also means difficult, meaningful, exhausting, fun, emotional, and a lot of other things that the word "great" just doesn't encapsulate - unless you were there.

Each year, after I post my camp blog, someone on social media asks how they can participate.  The truth is everyone can participate in some way.  You may not be physically able to attend, but we have people who make blankets, people who pray for each camper by name, people who donate items for birthday bags, and people who donate money.  Since I don't know where you might be when you read this, I am posting the link to the national site.  It is https://rfk.org/

However, if you live in or near Raleigh, NC and want to be a part of our camp specifically, let me know.  I'll connect you with our directors. 

The Most Important Job

If you regularly read my blog, you know that I volunteer at a camp for foster children every summer. If not, you can read about it at this post and this one.  This year, I had an interesting conversation with one of the men during his counselor break.  We were chatting about what each of us had done during the day and had left to do, and he said, "Wow, every job here has to be done, or this camp just can't happen."

He was right.  There are a lot of jobs at camp, and without any one of them, it wouldn't be the experience that it is.

Cooks - When we get to camp, our amazing cooks immediately get into the kitchen and start work (actually they come down even earlier to set up).  They pretty much don't leave the kitchen again until Friday.  They make three wonderful meals every day plus snacks for both the kids and the adults.  They don't just feed us; they make the experience of family dinner possible for kids who have not had that in their lives.

Administrative People - This year, I had the opportunity to observe the registration and check in process.  If you think this wouldn't take a lot of people, then you have never tried to do it.  The kids come in with their foster parent and encounter a wonderful lady named Chris with check in paperwork.  They have talked to her on the phone before because she works with social workers for months prior to camp in order to get out kids enrolled.  Without Chris, we wouldn't have camp because we wouldn't have kids.  Next, they encounter the nurses, who collect their medications for distribution during the week.  As you can imagine, the nurses may be the busiest people at our camp.  In addition to regular medications, they also deal with injuries, bee stings, heat related ailments, etc.  We couldn't have camp without them.  The next person they encounter takes their luggage and marks them clearly.  You know that horrible feeling when the airline loses your suitcase?  Well, that would be far worse if you were a child who had been moved from home to home (because of most of what you can call your own fits in your suitcase).  The lady who labels their luggage is important because we don't want our kids to panic when they get to camp by not having their stuff.  They go to the next person who gives them their camp t-shirt.  That shirt might not mean much to a lot of kids.  Since some of our wear this shirt all week long, it must mean a lot to them.  They get the correct size shirt because of our secretary, Pat, who assists the director all year long with all kinds of things from applications to name tags.  Without her, camp couldn't happen because the state would never let us have the kids if we were a disorganized mess.

Counselors - When the kids get off of the bus at camp, the first person they encounter is their counselor.  The counselor is the person they bond with, the person they eat with, the person they do activities with, and the person they lose their temper with.  The counselor remains enthusiastic about everything all week, which takes a lot of energy.   They get about two hours worth of break time each day, and it is an extremely important job.

Activity Staff - Three to four hours of each day are devoted to activities.  The kids can choose from horses, woodworking, making bracelets, fishing, bike riding, going on hikes, playing checkers, writing notes, spin art, playing dress up, etc.  You name it, we probably have it.  Each of those activities must be manned by a staff member.  This is one of the reasons we take more adults to camp than kids.  The staff also takes over for the counselors during their break times.  They serve the kids and counselors at meal times.  They don't have the same emotional strain as the kids, but they work very hard physically from breakfast until bedtime.

Program Staff - So, we aren't just a camp of activities.  We are a ministry, and we want to teach our kids about the love of Jesus.  We use a variety of methods in that teaching.  We sing a lot of fun and crazy and meaningful songs, so our song director is very important.  We use drama, so people who are willing to act are needed.  We have two ladies who handle puppets.  One person is in charge of object lessons.  One is in charge of Bible stories.  Without these people, our kids might not go home with the understanding of God's love that we so desperately wish for them to.

Lifeguard - At every meal, I ask the kids what their favorite thing was during that day.  Most of the kids say, "SWIMMING!"  They love it, and they get to do it for an hour every day.  This would not be possible, of course, without a lifeguard.  We are blessed to have a lifeguard who taught elementary PE and swimming for many years.  I have watched her teach kids to swim, and I wish I could take swimming lessons from her.  We often have kids who come in afraid of the water at the beginning of the week and leave as swimmers by the end.  Without our lifeguard, camp would not be camp.

Sheet Checker - Every day, some of our awesome staff people take on an unenviable task when the kids aren't in their rooms.  They go into the cabins and run their hands over the beds to check for wetness.  If a child wets their bed at night, the counselors keep very quiet about it.  They simply leave the wet pajamas in the middle of the bed.  The sheet checkers pull wet sheets off of the bed, redress it, launder the pajamas and return them at some time of day when the kids aren't there.  This is huge because it happens completely without the knowledge of the other campus; there is no embarrassment involved.  Camp might not be the positive experience it is without these lovely ladies.

Photographer and Videographer - Do you have pictures from your childhood?  Whether it is yearbook pictures or family portraits, you can probably look back on photos of your childhood and see yourself grow.  Some of our kids don't have that.  Since our camp is for kid from ages 6-12, a child can potentially attend our camp for six years in a row.  They leave camp with a book of photos.  In these photos they are smiling or making faces or swimming or riding a horse or doing something that will be a positive memory of a happy moment.  Some of them have siblings that they don't see at other times of the year, so the sibling picture they go home with is the closest thing they have to a family portrait.  One of them asked me at registration if they would get a photo with their brother again this year.  Our videographer puts together a video that is one of the highlights of the week.  It shows bits of everything they have done during the week.  The kids like looking for themselves in the video, but the most important function of this video is that we show it to the foster parents upon our return.  They get to see the love and fun their kids have experienced all week.  They get to know that it is a good idea for them to come back next year.  Without that video, I don't think we would have the  return rate that we do.

Prayers and Knitters - Each person who goes to camp has family members or friends that pray for them, of course; but they aren't the only ones.  The sending church has a group of people who specifically pray for each camper by name.  They also have a group of people who make blankets and pillowcases for our campers to keep.  I have watched more than one kid walk around with that blanket wrapped around herself to every event for five days.  This camp takes place in 90º plus weather, but the camper could not be dissuaded from having it at all times.   she said.  "Someone made it for me," she said.  "It means safety and security," said one boy when he received his.  The people who pray and knit might not be able to attend camp, but they are part of making camp special.

Directors - Our directors start working on next year's camp during this year's camp.  They plan everything, communicate everything, pray about everything, reach out to everyone for partnerships, and get very little sleep.  Without them, camp simply wouldn't exist.

If any one of these jobs was not done, camp would not be successful.  Every job at camp is the most important job.