Resetting Out Rhythm - A Walk in the Woods

I didn't intend to write a series on finding balance, but this does appear to be the 3rd one in a row.  I don't know if that's a sign that I need this or that you do, but here we are.

On Wednesday, I had an odd little gap of time in my schedule.  I took a class at the Y that ended at 8.  I was subbing that day, but they didn't need me until 9:30.  The night before, I remembered that there is an arboretum between those locations and that it has been a while since I have photographed anything.  

Plan made.

North Carolina being what it is, I woke up to 35 degree weather, but I had already made my plan, so I put Papa's sweater and my camera in the car.  

When I got to the JC Raulston Arboretum, I found more than beautiful blooms to photograph.  I found that I was in a different rhythm.  I don't know if it is a result of the fall, but human schedules are out of step with creation.  

The pace of nature is different than the schedule we create for ourselves. Birds work hard to build their nests, but they don't have a time tabled to-do list. Plants don't feel the need to grow an inch by the end of the day. No matter how hard we try, we cannot contain grass to the places we want it to grow.  It'll pop up through a crack in the sidewalk if it wants to.  Our need to contain, schedule, and organize is unnatural.  

I'm not saying we shouldn't do those things.  We need to be productive and responsible, and some of you are responsible for keeping small people alive. But I am suggesting that, if we are to maintain our sanity, we have to take time to reset.  I'm not talking about self-care. That's just become an excuse for shirking our responsibilities without feeling guilty about it. I'm talking about reconnecting with natural rhythms in creation.  I'm talk about rest.

Most of the world's religions have an ethic of rest, even though we are bad at practicing it.  My friend, Dana Trent, does a fantastic job of describing this in her book For Sabbath's Sake.   Like everything Dana writes, says, or does, it is simultaneously profound, entertaining, and highly relatable. She opens with a story of breaking off a Q-tip in her ear and deciding to wait to address it until after she had taught her class (absolutely what I would do too) and spends a chapter describing her experience at a retreat center in which she found she was "bad at resting."  Ten out of ten recommend this book.

There is a reason that Sabbath had to be a commandment. We don't do it.  Even though it is good for us.  Even though we would be glad if we did.  Even though it is the way were originally designed as image bearers.  We forget that we have to intentionally step out of ourselves to reconnect with things that are bigger than us.  (Even if you are not a person of faith, you must recognize the need for this connection and feel the pull toward something outside of your own schedule.)

Spring provides an important reminder.  Plants that have lain dormant all winter were not dead; they were resting and are now experiencing renewal.  Bears that have hibernated all winter are ready to forage again. Easter reminds us that death does not have the final say.  Birds that have been quiet for months are out there singing again.  Perhaps this is even why we engage in spring cleaning; it's just a natural time for a reset.

Teachers, I know spring is busy.  I know you are in the sprint toward the end of the year.  I know that exams will be due to your administrators soon, and you I'm not suggesting that you go on a retreat.  I'm suggesting that you take half an hour to take a walk in the woods.  I'm well aware of how blessed I am to have an Arboretum right in the heart of my city and that not everyone has that. But you can find something - a tree, a squirrel, a neighborhood dog to pet - lie down on the ground and look at clouds - something.  

Take a few minutes to reset your rhythm.  You'll be glad you did.

Summer Goals

As the year that would never end finally came a close, one of the tasks I had to check out was to review my Professional Growth Plan.  I'm not sure if other professions require this level of introspection on a yearly basis, but at my school, we examine goals in a variety of categories, spiritual, relational, professional development, and technology use in pedagogy.  One of the things they ask us to do is to choose a word that we would like to focus on for the following year.  In the past, I have chosen words like Depth and Enjoy.  Last year, I chose the word Trust.  

The word I have chosen for next year is Restore.  This year was a lot of things, but most of all, it was exhausting.  I don't mean tiring (although it certainly was that).  I mean exhausting in the sense of depletion.  Teachers were drained of physical energy, mental energy, emotional energy without the social aspects that usually refill those reservoirs.  I chose the word Restore as a way of thinking about stocking back up on those resources.  To that end, I am also structuring my summer goals (which I always set to keep summer from slipping away while I just watch TV) around renewing some of what became depleted.

1.  Getting my brain back - For me, one of the things that occurred from the lack of physical contact during the lockdown was structural brain changes (I'm trying to avoid saying the phrase brain damage) resulting from a lack of oxytocin.  From March to June of 2020, the only other being I physically touched was my cat.  From June of 2020 until March of 2021, I was still only engaging in physical contact with my mom.  After vaccination, I started touching people a bit more, the occasional pat on the back or punch to the arm; but it wasn't until two weeks ago that I started having regular contact, hugging friends and students.  That lack of oxytocin has created some cognitive issues, mostly slow processing (kind of a brain fog) and searching for words (mostly people's last names).  For that reason, I am going to do a lot of mental weight lifting this summer.  I have a large stack of books on a variety of topics, both fiction and non-fiction; and I am starting with Tolkien.  I have already started The Hobbit, and I hope to get through at least one of the Lord of the Rings books in addition to other reading (The Stuff You Should Know book that's been waiting to be read since November, a book on church history I have had for a year and finally started reading last week, a few books about learning, and some novels).

2.  Physical Health - While I was careful not to eat poorly throughout the pandemic and did not gain weight from it, I know the stress under which I have been operating for the past year has taken a physical toll.  I first noticed it when I gave blood last September.  My blood pressure was higher than it has ever been, and it has been high (for me) every time that I have given blood since.  To that end, I have to do some aerobic activity to bring it back down.  I have been clenching my jaw at night since August 3rd.  My Vitamin D level got pretty low this winter, so I want to get back to long outdoor walks.  Also, at 45, I feel like it important to build muscle strength, so I'm doing a little weightlifting, including a full box of yearbooks so that, by next year's distribution day, it won't feel as strenuous loading those into the car.

3. Working on my House - School required all of my thought and energy in the past year, so my house got very little attention.  I've got some home repairs to do, and some of my walks will be to Home Depot for the tools I need to do that.

4. Reacquainting Myself with Public Spaces - This morning, I went to Walmart for only the third time since January of 2020, and it gave me just a little anxiety, not because I'm worried about the virus, but because I just haven't spent much time around strangers (or anyone outside of my family and school people) in a long time.  I know when I go to camp in July that I will have to make 6 or 7 trips to Walmart, so I need to reacclimate myself to this store.  I have only been in a restaurant three times, and I haven't been to church in person because we were supposed to register and sit with our bubble.  That would have meant me surrounded by six empty seats, which felt silly because a six-person bubble could have been in the space I was taking up alone.  That requirement has now been lifted, so I plan to return to church in person next week.  Many of my walks this summer are going to be public spaces, just so I can get back being in them.  

5.  School videos - For some time, I have thought that it might be good to have some videos for students to review while doing homework or to pull from on a day when I have a sub or to do a flipped lesson.  I had never done it because setting up and familiarizing myself with the tech I would need was time-consuming.  This year, doing everything online meant I had to develop familiarity with many tools.  I started making some of these videos on Memorial day weekend, and I have been making 1-3 each day (some are more complicated than others) ever since.  I will be able to begin school next year with a decent pool from which to draw different types of lessons, reviews, and help for struggling students.

This is what I have chosen for myself, and I do not expect it from anyone else.  You may have decided that recovery from this year looks like playing Fortnite with your kids all summer.  You might want to binge Seinfeld.  You might want to train for a marathon.  All of that is fine, but I would say that whatever you decide, be intentional about the goals you want to meet.  For you, it may be catching up with your family or allowing yourself to do nothing for an hour a day.  What do you want to restore this summer?  Design your days around that, so you don't enter August 2021 as depleted as you are right now. Get some rest.