Student Meetings

Instead of lunch and planning periods this week, I've been holding one on one meetings with some of my 8th-grade students.  So far, I've met with seven students (and a mom).  I have four meetings scheduled for next week.  No one is in trouble.  No one has done anything wrong.  These meetings are about preparing for tests.  

At GRACE, the 8th-grade team understands that our responsibility is to meet kids where they are and get them ready for where they are going.  This is, of course, true for teachers of every grade.  The first grade team is preparing kids for second grade.  But there is something that most students and parents understand about the eighth grade - high school is next.  The curriculum in 8th grade assumes a fair amount of foundational knowledge, and it is now time to learn analytical skills.  Students are no longer only learning the name of a family on the periodic table; they need to know how to use the periodic table to calculate how many neutrons are in the atom of an element in that family and how many valence electrons it has.  This requires more than the flashcards that they have been so dutifully making all these years.  It means that note-taking can't mean copying what the teacher projects from their PowerPoint presentation.  It means dropping most of the little tricks our older siblings have passed down (like choosing all of the above because it's only a choice if it's right - I will break them of this belief).

I spend a fair amount of classtime talking to them about why retrieval is superior to rereading and how to prepare for different levels of thinking-level questions.  I try to prepare them for the fact that they will have to change some of the habits that have led to their prior success, but they often just don't believe me.  Until it is real, I'm just saying stuff teachers say. Then, a student who is accustomed to As makes a B- or a C+ and they want to know what they can do.  While they mean extra credit, I bring them in and talk to them about how they currently study and how they might modify that to be more successful with tests that inlcude higher level thinking.  I divide it into three sections of advice - in class, studying, and test taking.  Let me share some of that with you.

In Class -  I work in a one to one laptop school, so there are plenty of ways to be distracted, but that isn't new.  Students have always found things to distract them in class.  I watched a student read her pencil once just to avoid doing what she should have been doing.  When I speak students about learning, we start there.  First, if your computer is distracting you, feel free to take your notes by hand.  

Then we talk about notes.  Most students fall into one of two extremes - they either write down almost nothing or they attempt to write down everything.  Neither of those is conducive to good learning.  Note taking involves paying close attention and making decisions about what is important to write down, which is not the same for every student.  In a class like mine, where the book is very closely aligned with what we are doing in class, it may be better to think of notes as a map, pointing to the information you need to study and supplementing with a few things from class.  Students have grown accustomed to copying the power point presentation and are surprised when I say, "Oh, that's just to remind me of what to talk about next or to give you a visual aid.  Unless I tell you that you need to copy a slide, you probably don't need to."  (There is a technique I'm afraid to experiment with called "retrieve taking."  In this technique, students to not write anything down during the class period.  You give them five minute at the end to write down everything they can remember.  I want to try it, but I'm a little afraid that I would have a hard time justifying it if it didn't work.). 

We also talk about asking and answering questions as a way of remaining engaged rather than just letting the class wash over you.

Studying - This is the longest part of the conversation and the one with the most research based support.  I start by asking them what they currently do to study.  By far, the most common answer I get is, "I look over my notes."  After asking them what they mean by that, it is clear they do not know that study is a verb.  They are re-reading notes that don't accurately represent what they did in class and hoping that will be enough to have it stuck in their heads.  We talk about why that is not helpful for their memory.  I ask them if they have ever memorized lines for a play; you don't learn your lines by reading the play again.  You learn them by trying to remembre them, crashing and burning, and trying again.  We talk about flashcards and making a list of questions for yourself and brain dumps a number of other retrieval strategies.  

For higher level thinking questions, flashcards may not be your best tool, so we talk about that too.  How might you "think outside the book" and prepare for questions that require using the knowledge they have gained from their flashcards.  How might you write yourself a question that is similar to one we have gone over in class?  What skills might you need to employ that would help?  This, again, requires that you have been engaged in class.  Learning is a complex activity, and it requires your full attention.  

Test Taking - About three-fourths of the students I meet with identify themselves as people with test anxiety.  I don't say identify themselves as a way of criticizing them; I think we all have at least a little bit of test anxiety, and it is not really a diagnosable condition.  We talk a little about taking the time to breath or pray or count to ten or whatever it takes to calm you rather than trying to ignore your feelings and power through.  And then I give them what I think is a simple but powerful piece of advice.  Cover up your test with a piece of paper.  It keeps you from seeing how much you have left to do and allows you to focus on the question you are currently on.  Most students with anxiety are also prone to talking themselves into all of the choices, so I tell them to cover the choices with the paper, read the question and think of the answer in their mind first; then just go look for that answer.  The only questions that doesn't work for are ones where the answer is "all of the above," but that's usually only one or two per test.  It's worth the trade.  These students are also generally prone to changing their answers while going over their test after they finish.  All of the research I've read says this is a bad idea.  I can't remember the exact number, but it was much more likely that students who have prepared well would change from a right answer to a wrong answer (or from one wrong answer to a different wrong answer).  It is rare that they change from a wrong answer to a right one.  If you have prepared well, trust yourself.

I want my students to be successful in all of their subjects, not just mine.  None of this advice is specific to my class or to the 8th grade.  If they actually absorb this, it should serve them well for years.

That One Kid

Normally, I write about something I have learned and feel there is some wisdom to share.  This one is a little different.  I'm writing it for me.  If you get something out of it too, that's great.  This is about dealing with that one kid, the one who pushes your buttons, the one who looks you right in the eye while defying what you said and then says, "I didn't hear you," the one who finds your last nerve and dances on it.  

If you aren't a teacher, you might think that it's horrible to even admit that this happens.  People assume that teachers are able to robotically turn off their feelings.  The thing is, however, that we are human beings, just like everyone else.  And, just like everyone else, we are going to connect with some people more than others.  We have to treat our kids equally, but that doesn't mean we feel equally because, as I feel I should say again, we are human beings, not curriculum delivering robots.  This is important because, early in your career, feeling this way can make you feel like a bad teacher.  You might not want to admit it, and that is going to keep you from getting what you need.  You also have to be careful who you talk to about it.  Some will make you feel worse and give you really unhelpful advice like, "You just shouldn't feel that way."  Some will over-validate you, which will not help you address this.  I have two pieces of advice (and if you aren't a Christian, only one will be helpful).

First, for teachers who believe in the Bible, you know that human beings are made in the image of God - all of them - even that one kid.  It is helpful to pray that God will allow you to see that student through this filter.  Reminding yourself that he is an image-bearer may not make him less irritating, but it should change the way you respond to him.  And changing the way you respond often changes the student's behavior.  Whether it helps or not, it is right to view other humans properly, so you should remind yourself of this.

Second, it is good to remember that a person's weaknesses are often just the flip side of their strengths.  The qualities that drive you crazy about that student may be what will make them great when they have matured.  What presents as stubbornness now may just be a less formed version of the perseverance he may one day need in his job or his marriage or his ministry later in life.  The attention he would rather give to a video game may be training his brain to notice details, which may be something he needs to accomplish the purpose God has for him (You should still have him stop playing in your class; I'm just giving you a less irritating perspective for his obsession).  I would imagine that the Joshua and Caleb of the old testament were probably difficult children.  They probably debated things with their parents and teachers.  They were probably quite stubborn.  I don't think they suddenly became strong, brave men who stood by their convictions when they had to resist the cowardice of the ten other spies.  What made them difficult children is exactly the way in which God planned to use them.  

Viewing students as image-bearers with personality traits that will inform their futures may not keep them from annoying you at the worst possible time, but it should help you to respond to them from a place of purpose and character development rather than from your emotional state.  

Communication is EVERYTHING

Everything my school issues, from coffee cups to tote bags and even our email signatures, has the tagline "Equipping Students For Life."  This is because we recognize that education is about more than academic material.  In some ways, the academic content I teach is a vehicle for the skills a student will one day need, including organization skills, teamwork, perseverance, stress management, and scheduling.  For me, the top life skill I could impart to my students is communication.  The rest of the list matters, but communication is everything because, without it, we do not know about what is happening with the rest of the list.

Sometimes, work is turned in late.  I get it.  Life happens.  Our policy involves some grace for that.  Here's the thing.  You can save your teacher a lot of stress and yourself a lot of emails.  All you have to do is communicate to your teacher that your work will be late with a reason why.  A quick email to your teacher that says, "I know the project is due on Friday.  I have been sick for the past three days, so I couldn't complete it.  I will work on it over the weekend and get it to you on Monday." communicates that you are aware that you aren't meeting a deadline, gives a reason, and offers a plan.  I'm not saying this will result in a teacher delightfully offering you full credit, but it will earn you far more respect from the teacher than waiting for the teacher to email you the day after the deadline, not responding to that email, and then offering your reason only after the teacher has put in the zero for work not turned in.   

Speaking of teachers sending emails, we don't do it because we love it.  We do it because we are attempting to communicate with and elicit communication from you.  For the love of everything good, reply!  You don't have to reply to a mass email that was simply meant to inform.  I don't need a hundred responses with the word "thanks."  But, if the teacher has asked you a question, it is incredibly rude to not reply.  Imagine having a conversation with a teacher in real life in which they ask you a question.  Would you turn around and face away from the teacher?  Of course not, so don't do it digitally.  The teacher asked the question because they needed the answer, and when you don't reply, they still need the answer.  

I know that it is sometimes difficult to deal with a problem, and that makes communication about that thing frightening.  But nothing good ever comes from lying low and hoping it will go away if you ignore it.

Parents, as you partner with your child's school in preparing your children for adult life, let me make this humble request, teach your children to communicate.  It will help them in school, in work, in their relationships, and in life more than any other skill.

Reflections on Student Engagement with John T Almarode

The Learning and the Brain conference is an overwhelming experience.  That’s not a complaint.  It’s the best professional development I’ve ever participated in.  It’s overwhelming in the way a magnificent artwork is overwhelming, just too much to take in.  It’s overwhelming in the way meeting a beloved public figure would be overwhelming, just wanting to remember every part of the moment but also knowing that you won’t.  I have attended this conference twice now, and I have come away both times with the same mixture of feelings.  First, I feel mostly affirmed that much of what I and my colleagues are doing is in line with how student's brains work.  Even though much of it has been developed through trial and error or intuition, we seem to have done a lot right.  Second, there are some changes we need to make to some of our practices.  Holding those two thoughts simultaneously weighs down my luggage on the trip home.

The only way I have found to deal with the sheer volume of information I get from this conference is to reflect on parts of it a little at a time while I figure out how I might like to apply them.  Since this blog is for me to reflect and process my thoughts and let you read them if you wish, I’ll be dealing with those here for a while. They might come out in weekly posts or I might post several over the course of a few days.  Who knows?  If you just want straightforward notes (with a few personal thoughts because that’s how I take notes), you can find them at these three posts (Friday, Saturday, Sunday).  These posts will be both more and less than the notes.  More because I will be working out my own thoughts but less because I will likely choose small parts to reflect upon.

The first one that I will tackle is the one I think might be easiest to implement.  It was a session on creating engagement in your classroom and how to design engaging tasks.  The session was given by John T. Almarode.  If I believed in spirit animals, I would want him to be mine.  He is a quirky, fun, sassy Southerner who so obviously loves his job that you can’t help but be drawn in, and what you are being drawn into is valuable, smart, research-based information that you enjoy learning.

This session could be broken down into these sections:

1. Assessing the level of thinking students are at so that you can teach them one level above that.
2. The characteristics of an engaging task
3. Differentiation of lessons to provide equity to students

I am going to focus this post on that middle section because I think it is the one I can start implementing immediately.  The other two will require more time to make some design changes in my lessons.  I may blog about those as I deal with them as well, but here’s a good place to start.

According to John Almarode, there are 8 characteristics of engaging lessons.  This list was developed as the result of observations made in 20,000 classroom observations.  This is a credible sample size, and the methodology is strong.

1. Clear and Modeled Expectations - Imagine the frustration you feel at a faculty meeting if you are given a task and told to get started, but you aren’t really clear yet on what you are supposed to do.  Now imagine that happening at least once a day.  A lot of the misbehavior in classrooms comes from student frustration with not being sure what they are supposed to be doing.  If you want an engaged classroom, you have to be clear about what they should do. Be clear about what the target looks like.  
2. Emotional Safety - Your classroom must be a safe place to learn.  Students must not be allowed to laugh at someone giving a wrong answer or make fun of them.  That is not, however, the only component to emotional safety in your classroom.  It also means having the means to recover after having made a mistake.  Is there a way to get feedback, revise their work, and do better?  (Don’t get crazy, y’all.  I’m not talking about retaking summative assessments. I’m talking about daily tasks and work-in-progress check on projects.)
3. Personal Response - Students, if you haven’t noticed, care a lot about their own opinions.  That’s not unusual.  We did and do too.  Can students bring their own perspective into a task?  If so, they will be more likely to be engaged in it.
4. Sense of Audience - Have you ever had a job where you had to look busy?  It’s more exhausting than actually being busy.  I had a job once where I got done with the daily tasks by about 3pm, so if the phone wasn’t ringing much, I had little to do for the remaining two hours.  If my boss saw that, he would give me “busy work.”  Making a graph out of data was something I was happy to do if we were going to use the graph to analyze advertising trends, but we weren’t.  He was giving me the graph task so that I wouldn’t be sitting at the desk waiting for the phone to ring.  I started making up interesting and productive tasks for myself just to keep this kind of nonsense from happening.  The educational equivalent of this has to be doing something just to get a grade for it.  Students want to know that the task is valuable to someone other than the teacher.  If there is a way to provide a real audience (parents coming in to hear a speech, other students or staff members to ask questions about the project you did, or bringing in a community member that works in the subject area of the task), please make a way to do it.  
5. Social Interaction - The adolescent brain is developmentally social (See Inventing Ourselves by Sarah-Jayne Blakemore).  They will learn more if they can tell someone else what they know.  This can be as simple as think-pair-share.  It can be as complex as finding an expert to present their findings to.  At least once per task, your students should be explaining their thinking to SOMEONE.
6. Choice - I do not mean completely free choice because that is dangerous and not educationally sound, but where you can work in limited choice, you will get more engagement and better work.  Create a menu of ways students can choose from to show their work.  (You can write a song, record a podcast, or draw illustrations showing the trig identities.)  You could give them list of topics to do a project on.  (You can learn about electrochemistry equally well by studying batteries, electroplating, or electric eels, so let them choose which one they want to learn about.)
7. Novelty - The human brain craves familiarity, which is why we watch TV re-runs and listen to old songs, but it also craves novelty, which is why seek out new restaurants.  Sometimes, when we find something good, we use it too much.  (When GRACE teachers discovered Kahoot, kids got sick of reviewing for every test in every class with it.) Just because something is good doesn’t mean you want to do it 180 days in a row.
8. Authentic - Authentic doesn’t have to mean that it is actually happening.  (This was good to hear because I have had trouble trying to connect everything to actual situations and feeling guilty about it.)  It doesn’t mean real-world.  In fact, you may not want it to be.  If you have a student whose home life is that of an alcoholic parent who has to get their siblings ready for school, you don’t want to ask them to write about something fun they do with their parents.  It means it COULD happen.  John Almarode's example involved an elementary ecology project.  The teacher had given students the assignment to create an imaginary creature and then figure out what habitat it would have to have. (Now, I do have to say I think that might be a fun creative writing or art assignment because of the imagination it involves, but it wouldn’t be a great ecology project the student isn’t learning about real ecology.)  Instead, give them a project in which they are zookeepers who have to choose an exotic animal and design a zoo habitat that will keep that animal alive in the climate where you live.  That’s authentic without being real-world.  

If you are thinking that there is no way you could have all 8 of these every day, take a deep breath.  You are right.  You can’t.  The point isn’t to get them all every day.  The point is to work in as many as you can where you can.  What the walkthrough data revealed is that having at least three of these will result in 87% sustained engagement (and the first two should already be a normal part of your practice).  Having only 2 of them resulted in (are you ready for this) only 17% engagement.  Isn’t that crazy?  Just the difference in one of these items makes that big of a difference.  By the way, having only one of them results in zero engagement.  

This seems overwhelming, but if you have created a positive classroom climate, you should already have #2, and if you are a teacher who cares enough about your practice to read educational blogs, you probably already communicate clear expectations, so #1 is a given.  Working in one or two more of these should be the first thing you do when designing new projects.

As I sat in this session, I tried to think of the topics I have the hardest time making engaging.  As much as I love the periodic table, it isn’t the easiest thing to get 8th-graders to love.  There aren’t a ton of hands-on ways to teach it.  At the end the session, I thought, “Well, I’ve identified a problem, but I still don’t have a solution.”  During the next morning’s keynote, it suddenly clicked. I think I got it.  I can put in novelty and social interaction by having the kids be elements and move (oh, yeah, in another session with Marcia Tate, we were encouraged to have students move) according to properties.  Something along the lines giving each child an element to be and making the room the periodic table.  Determine if you are a metal or non-metal and move to the part of the room where you should be.  Raise your hand if you have low electronegativity.  Who has the highest electronegativity (one of them will have to be fluorine)?  Who has 8 valence electrons?  I’m still working this out in my mind, but I think it could be a great way to make some of what I am doing more personal (and Marcia Tate also encourages role-playing as a technique).  If I put the elements in a google doc and let them each choose the one they want to be (but remove it from the list because we can’t have two of the same element), then they will also have choice.

As John had us do at the conference, turn to your neighbor and say, “We can totally do this.”

Stupid Questions - Yes, There Are

Kids who are not super confident often preface their questions during class with "This might be a stupid question, but. . ."  Many well-meaning teachers respond to that with the line, "There are no stupid questions."  I know that sounds good at the moment, but the problem is that it is simply not true. 

Consider this scene from The Office.  Dwight has gone home to bury his aunt.  While there, he spends some time with his nephew, Cameron, who is being raised in the city and knows nothing of farm life.  He points at a goat and asks if it is a cow. 
Cameron: [after following Dwight to the chicken coop, before sunrise] Is it dangerous to take the eggs in front of them?
Dwight: Yes, very. You really need to stand back because these are killer chickens.
Cameron: I was just asking you something I didn't know.
Dwight: Which is fine. And, you learned something. But, it was kind of a stupid question so you're gonna get made fun of a little bit.

There are absolutely stupid questions.  I've been asked hundreds of them.  When you give instructions and a kid asks what to do, that's a stupid question.  You know it is because other kids look at them with the "Dude, she JUST said that" look.  When a student comes in after an absence and asks if you did anything yesterday, that's a stupid question.  In Dwight fashion, I usually respond with, "No, we put on black armbands and mourned your absence" before giving them a real answer.  (If you are a student reading this, it would make a world of difference if you change it to "What did I miss yesterday?")  My freshman year in college, I was standing in one of a thousand registration lines.  This one was for student IDs, and there was a large sign (like 3 feet tall) that said, "This is not the line for parking passes."  Yet, as I waited in that line, I heard the person at the table say to the 12 people in front of me, "No, this is not the line for parking passes."  These are people enrolling in college, and rather than read the sign, they waited in line and then asked that rather stupid question.  Most of them walked away in a huff as though it was the school's fault they had wasted their time in line.

Don't misunderstand.  I love questions.  The best part of my day is when a student asks a question to which I do not know the answer.  Then, we get to find out together.  I get asked deep and wonderful questions on a daily basis.  Even after 20 years of teaching, I still get asked questions I've never been asked before, and I love that.  I never want to discourage curiosity.  I just don't believe lying to students is the way to encourage them.

The strangest question I've ever been asked happened in my first year.  For context, we were in the middle of a unit about the Apollo program.  We had been talking about men walking on the moon for over a week.  At the time the question was asked, we were watching a video in which Dave Scott was driving the lunar rover, and ten minutes earlier, there had been a scene in which they considered their landing site options because there was concern about the 18000ft mountain range in the area.  Okay, you got all that?  Are you ready?  Nicole raised her hand and said, "Miss Hawks, how big is the moon?"  That is not a stupid question, and I don't know the answer right off the top of my head, but I do know how to calculate it, so I started doing that.  Then she said, "I mean, like, if you brought it down here, would it be as big as me?"  I can only imagine my facial expression as my finger hovered over the calculator buttons for a moment.  When I told her that it was, in fact, about 2000 miles bigger than her, she asked, "How come it look so small, then?"  This fifteen-year-old had no understanding of the fact that when things are far away, they look smaller.  Later on, I found out that she thought having "stars in your eyes" was literal.  She believed stars could fit in your eyes.

By the way, Nicole did not preface that with "this might be a stupid question."  When a kid says that, it almost never is.  It's just a kid who lacks confidence and is perhaps a bit tangential.  Instead of responding with the falsehood that there are no stupid questions, I say, "We won't know until you ask.  Let's find out."  Kids will eventually find out that there are stupid questions (perhaps when they have kids), so it isn't a good life-lesson to teach them that there aren't.  The better life-lesson, in my opinion, is "Don't be afraid to ask a stupid question."

Do You See What I (Don't) See?

Friday night, my school carried out one of its greatest traditions - our senior dinner.  One of the special things about working in a school with a graduating class of sixty is that we have the opportunity to make this event very personal.  Each student is talked about by a teacher, who has signed up to talk about them (sometimes having to fight for them with another teacher who also wants to) and shares stories about their character.  We know, love, and value our students' and their character, and this is a great night to showcase that.

There are many things that I love about this event, but there is one thing that strikes me every year.  The kid who pushes my buttons is someone else's favorite person.  Every year, I find myself listening to a speech and saying to myself, "I would never have thought that."  I find that students I have only known from the hallway (because I didn't get the opportunity to teach them) are different than I imagined.  I hear stories that make me think, "Wow, I wish I had gotten the chance to know her."  The stories we tell about our experiences with kids are inevitably revelations to other teachers

This night reminds me every year why every student needs a team of teachers, not just one.  If a student only had me, there would be some who would not be reached well.  The history teacher may see something that the English teacher doesn't.  The yearbook advisor or art teacher may have the opportunity to find a gift that doesn't show up in math.  The math and English teachers may have the chance to observe a student's perseverance in a way that others can't.  Each of us gets to see something the others might not. 

When we finish this night each year, we hope that each parent in the room knows that their child is loved and appreciated by at least one teacher.  We hope that each student in the room knows there is at least one teacher who knows them and sees who they are.  That's what we want for our students and parents.  What I hope for the teachers in the room is for us to see how much we are all needed.  You see what I cannot, and vice versa. 

Stuff I've Learned as a Teacher

In May, I will have completed my 20th year in the classroom.  As I reflect on the past two decades, I realize just how much I have learned since 1999.  Some are profound.  Others are goofy.  All have made me a better teacher.  I'm going to list as many as I can here, but I am sure there are some that won't come to mind just now.  They are in no particular order, but I grouped items that seemed to fit together.

- You can't let your day be ruled by the student's energy.  Decide your own in the car on the way to school.
- Credibility comes from taking your job seriously, not from taking yourself seriously.
- For all the planning we do, it's likely that what a kid will look back on as important will come from a random conversation that you won't even remember.

- Go to their games.  Even if you can only stay for five minutes, they'll know you were there.
- Go to plays, band, and chorus events.  You'll see a different side of your students.

- You will have to deal with tragedy in the lives of your students, no matter where you teach; so be prepared.
- Sometimes your students need you to be there to talk and listen.
- Sometimes, they need you to act like everything is normal, even if it isn't.

- Teachers look forward to snow days as much as kids too - maybe more.
- Spring break is more important for your sanity than you ever knew.
- It's more difficult to be out than it is to be at school.  Sub plans are hard.

- Compliment kids on something.  If it can be about their character, that's the gold standard.  If you can't, tell them you like their shoes.
- If a student shares an interest of yours, talk to them about it.  If you can work it into your curriculum, do it.  It makes them feel important.
- You don't have to pretend to be their age.  If you like the music they listen to, that's okay; but if you have never heard of it, there's no need to pretend you do.
- If a student is reading a book you like, tell them.  It encourages them to read for pleasure.

- Where you can, work some choice into your assignments.  I'm not talking about personalized curricula, but giving them small choices deepens their learning.
- Asking test questions like, "What's your favorite thing you learned in this chapter?" reveals learning more than any other question you can ask.  You'll get longer, more detailed answers to this question than one with a specific answer.
- When a student suggests a project idea, respond with "Tell me more about that."  You don't know what they have in mind from the initial proposal.  It may be better than it sounds, and you'll want to say yes.  They may have not thought it through, and you'll want to say no.  If you think it is doable, let them run with it and let them know you'll help them figure it out.

- Own your mistakes.  Apologize when appropriate.
- Own your decisions.  Stand your ground when appropriate.
- If you can explain the reasoning behind a decision, do.  It helps them understand, even if they still don't agree.

- When managing behavior, be the adult.
- They aren't more right if they cry.
- Remember that they are still figuring things out.  Your role is guiding them through that process.  Sometimes, that means punishment is needed, but sometimes it doesn't.
- If you get into a power struggle, you have to win it.  Avoid one if at all possible.

- Kids should see you laughing with other teachers.  They need to see that you enjoy your work and your colleagues.
- If kids see you cry in response to sad situations, that's okay; but they shouldn't go home worried about you, so be careful how much you share with them.
- If a student asks a question, and you don't know the answer, say so.  If you can Google it right away, do it.  If you can't give up class time at that moment, make a note to look it up at the end of the day.  If you are in a school where you can communicate with students by email or LMS, send them the answer that day.  It will amaze them that you cared enough to remember to look it up.

- Do not answer emails angry.  You can hit send in a few hours.  You cannot un-send.  Let someone else read it if you have lost objectivity.
- Don't grade tired.  It's not fair to the student who is next in the pile.  When they asked why you haven't graded your paper yet, explain that you respect their work enough to grade it responsibly.

- If a student asks you to write a recommendation letter, it's a sign that they believe you have a good relationship.  Accept it for the honor that it is.
- You are going to run into former students in restaurants.  If you don't remember them, fake it.  It makes their day if they think you remember them; it breaks their heart if they think you don't.

- Standards matter.  Hold them high.
- Grace matters.  Extend it when you can.

When Parents Meet with Teachers

Last week my school held parent-teacher conferences.  A student that I thoroughly enjoy left the room the day before, saying, "I'm nervous about what you might say to my parents."  This is a delightful young lady who daily brings joy to her teachers, and she is worried that we might report something negative to her parents.  This interaction made me think of a few things.

It took me way back to my first year.  There was a student who I had, in fact, had a major argument with.  It had been about a month since the argument, and I had forgotten about it.  We had a rather good relationship.  The day before conferences, she begged me not to tell her mom about the "fight."  It actually took me a minute to remember what he was talking about, but it was so vivid in her mind that she thought it might be the topic of my conference with her mom.  It was a good opportunity to talk about how things like that don't have to define a relationship.  There was so much water under our bridge that I wouldn't have even thought to bring it up to her mom.

Then, I had to wonder if other students were worried.  If this delightful girl was nervous, what do the actual trouble-makers think?  Is the child in your class who actually is a chronic disruption worry that you will tell his parents that?  I don't know.

One the days of the actual conferences, there was a wide variety to the conversations.  Some brought the student with them.  Some just wanted to tell the teacher about their child's history.  Some just want to meet the teacher they hear about at home.  Most are parents who are just looking for ways they can help their child study or be more socially successful. 

If you are a student, please know that these meetings are not gossip sessions.  You are welcome in them because we aren't saying anything behind your back that we wouldn't say to you.  We aren't looking for things that are wrong with you.  We are ON YOUR TEAM.

It Seemed Like A Good Idea at the Time

I was walking down the hall when a student pulled out a piece of paper.  I wasn't trying to read over his shoulder, but I couldn't avoid seeing the paper.  I do not know what it said.  All I saw was that it was in the form of a letter and had about fifteen signatures at the bottom.  I said to him, "that looks petition-like to me."  He said that he guessed it kind of was.  I said, "Just so you know, petitions aren't usually accepted well by anyone, except maybe the government."  At that point, someone joined us, and I was never able to finish talking to him.  However, I have a similar conversation with a student about once a year. 

I used to teach in Oklahoma.  Because of that I still have a number of teacher friends there.  You may have seen on the news that their teachers' union has recommended a walkout, starting April 2.  I keep getting invited to the facebook page.  Since I don't believe in strikes and have refused to join the union in both states I taught public school in, they don't really want me to join this group. 

After the Parkland shooting a month ago, students in various districts have planned walkouts in an effort to get the attention of lawmakers concerning gun laws.  It is unlikely that this would change the vote of any lawmaker, but they make the news because students walking out of class to march in the streets is good TV.

The problem with all of these methods is that they put the recipient on the defensive.  In the conversations I have had with students about various petitions over the years, the conversation has always gone something like, "when they see how many of us agree, they have to give in."  Setting aside the language of "they have to" for the larger point, I try to get them to see why that doesn't work.  Put yourself in the position of the person receiving this letter.  No matter how respectfully it is written or presented, the moment someone opens a letter and sees multiple signatures, they feel ganged up on.  The brain perceives this as threatening and responds with the fight or flight instinct.  You have automatically turned off the rational and listening parts of their brain as it is flooded with adrenaline, undermining your ability to get what you want.  You accomplish the opposite of what you were trying to do. 

The same is true of the teacher and student walkouts and all strikes in general.  At the time, it seems like a good way to get the attention of the powers that be.  Again, I say imagine you are one of them.  When management sees you walk off your job to make a point, the danger part of their brain goes into high gear, imagining angry mobs with torches and pitchforks.  It doesn't "get their attention" in the way you hope.  The attention turns to self-protective measures, which involve digging in their heels, not meeting you even half-way.

I am not criticizing the students who make these petitions because I know that it seems like a good idea to them at the time.  I know that it is far less scary than sitting down with people above them and having a conversation one on one, and it doesn't seem disrespectful.  I am not criticizing those teachers who have been brought to this point.  I have read the posts of so many of them that feel this is the only action they have left.  I disagree with them, but I don't believe any of them are ill-intended.  That doesn't mean it is going to work.

Getting a lot of signatures seems good at the time because our signature is hidden among the others, so we feel secure in the number.  Walking out feels good in the moment.  The rush of dopamine we get makes us feel a power we do not actually possess, especially when there are others with us.  When we get tv coverage of our protest, it makes us feel like we have the world on our side until we go online and find that half of the people are not.  Those feelings of the moment are as temporary as the "love" people find on The Bachelor.  It feels real in the moment, but we must think beyond the moment.

Actual change requires people to make decisions using the rational parts of their brains.  That requires calm discourse, the ability to listen to facts and persuasive arguments, and the time to take substantive action.  Next time, something seems like a good idea, pause for a moment of empathy.  Imagine you were on the opposite side.  How would you receive the action you are about to take?  Chances are you would wish people would approach you individually, calmly, and rationally.  Try that first.