Credibility First - Part 2 - Take Your Work Seriously

Imagine this scenario.  

You go to a gym and hire a personal trainer, excited to meet your fitness goals and willing to pay for it. When you arrive, the trainer:

• gives you snacks.
• chats with you about movies and music for 10 minutes. 
• jokes with you throughout the session.
• asks you about your hobbies. 
• About halfway into the session, she hands you a relatively small weight and asks you to do bicep curls but doesn't show you how to do it properly.  
• You do a few with very poor form because you don't know the right way to do it. The poor form is okay with her because "the point is that you do it, not how you do it." 
• She praises you for your effort and says, "Look how strong you are." 

When you leave that session, you may like your new trainer on a personal level, but you will leave feeling that your time and money has been wasted.  You won't be sore the next day, indicating that you didn't challenge any muscles. You won't know any more about fitness when you leave than you did when you entered. And, I'm going to guess that, while you may like your new trainer, you won't respect her work.

You won't achieve your goals, and you won't return to this gym.

Yet, there are people who think this is what classroom teachers should do. Give snacks, make it fun, and build relationships first.  And the result with students is the same as it was in the above scenario. They like the fun and relationship-y teacher, but they don't achieve their goals, and they don't respect the teacher's work.

As a teacher of 25 years, I do understand that relationships matter, but I also understand that they cannot come first.  In fact, adolescents find it kind of creepy when you try to establish a relationship too early. They can sense a scam a mile away, so they know if you are forming a relationship in a manipulative way. After one first day of school, my nephew (who was then in middle school) said, "She's weird. She smiled way too much." For him, her relationships first approach came off as false.

So, please allow me to propose a different model - credibility first.  If you give students confidence that you know what you are doing and will help them achieve, they are more likely to be open to the teacher-student relationship you hope to establish.

Let's revisit the gym. You show up for your personal training session and you:

• notice the trainer has her certifications posted on the wall. This helps you feel confident that she is trained.
• see that she has weights already laid out in a circuit. You know your time won't be wasted and she isn't depending on your to tell her what you should do.
• hear explanations of proper form, explanations of what you should feel as you lift, and feedback on what you are doing in an encouraging and jovial way. This helps you feel confident you could do it later on your own.
• feel challenged throughout the session even though she has a lighthearted manner. You know she is getting the best out of you, and you'll be the good kind of sore tomorrow.
• have a nice chat after the session. You like that she wants to get to know you a little and may feel inclined to share a little more after next week's session.

Do you see the difference? Knowing the trainer takes her work seriously makes you more comfortable with her, not less.

Let me divert to yet another context.  I have been attending a liturgical church for about a year.  For those who don't know, liturgical churches involve a lot of scripted time that is repeated regularly. Every week, we say the creed and the Lords' prayer. Every week, we sing the doxology. There is some call and response (e.g. Officiant: "This is the Word of the Lord" Congregation: "Thanks be to God.") 

Having had little prior experience with that kind of service, I assumed before my first visit that it might be kind of dry. In fact, it has been quite the opposite. Not having to generate my own response to everything has allowed me to notice certain parts of the creed differently in different weeks. 

• Some weeks, it may be "Creator of heaven and earth, all that is, seen and unseen" that sticks with me.  
• Other Sundays, it might be the fact that Jesus "suffered under Pontius Pilate" that my mind dwells on. 
• Replying to an officiant's "Peace be with you" with "and also with you" encourages empathy throughout my week.  
• After communion, we say a post communion prayer.  It includes the line, "And now, send us out to do the work You have given us to do."  Because we say it so often, I look forward to that line and think about it throughout the week.  

This is is so far from a dry recitation; it buries words deep within me in a way that only repetition can. And it happens because the clergy take their work very seriously.  This is never more obvious to me than when they prepare and administer communion.  During the offering, one of the ministers lays out the wafer plates and pours the wine and water into several goblets. They each do it a bit differently, but they all do it with care.  It's clear that it is a responsibility they don't undertake lightly.  Lest you think this means they are stone faced about it, let me assure you that watching them administer communion is one of the highlights of my week because they do it with such joy. They look the congregant directly in the eye as they hand them the wafer, saying, "Take this in remembrance that Christ died for you." They know my name, so I get a very personal, "Beth, take this in remembrance that Christ died for you." They pray for and fist bump small children who are not yet taking communion, and those kids walk away knowing someone cares for their spiritual health and also enjoys their presence in the church.  As I described watching my pastor during communion to a friend, "I love watching his joy during communion.  It's like he just can't believe this is part of his job."

I said all of that to say this.  Credibility first isn't sour and joyless.  You can show your care, your passion, and your knowledge of content simultaneously. And this will attract students to your work. You will still end up with relationships if you don't make them first.  You may never establish credibility if you do.

What does this look like in the classroom?  I imagine there are a number of ways it could look, depending on your context, but I'll tell you what I did in mine:

• I started the first day by telling students why I went into education, what degree I had (diploma posted on the wall next to my teaching certificate), and my years of experience. I said, "I'm not bragging; I just want you to know you are in good hands.")
• I gave them an outline of the year, so they knew I had a plan from the start.
• I assigned seats in rows. I know that is a controversial one, and I'm not saying you have to do it. For me, it communicated from the start that there was someone in charge and that I was the person to whom they should pay attention.
• I promised that, while not everything would be fun, everything would be worthwhile.  I made it fun where I could, of course, and I had an amiable classroom demeanor, but I made it clear that fun wasn't the goal; learning was.
• We established some procedures and routines that I assured them would make things run more smoothly.
• I meant what I said. There were never false promises or empty threats.
• I explained my reasons for what I was doing whenever possible.
• I laughed at myself when I made mistakes. Taking your work seriously doesn't have to mean taking yourself too seriously.
• When I screwed up, I did everything I could to make it right for my kids.
• If I got through all of the planned things with a few minutes left, it was only then that I chatted with them about hobbies or pets. I also used lunch duty, morning door duty, and after school interactions for those kinds of conversations.  I attended sporting events and concerts and plays to show that I cared about their extracurricular interests. 

I assure you, most of my students felt we had a friendly relationship. I just didn't start there.  

When I left at the end of last year, I got a lot of lovely notes and emails from colleagues and parents and students, but the one that touched me the most was an email that came from a former student. I can't make a better point about credibility first than she did, so I'll end this post with the opening line of her email. 

"I want to thank you for quite literally changing my life. You were the first teacher to take my grades seriously and helped me when I needed it." 

Novice Learners - It Takes Courage

When was the last time you learned something new?  I don't mean a small change to what you already know.  I mean something totally new.  It was exhausting, right?  And you likely failed at it quite a few times before you started getting comfortable with it.  That's no big deal if the thing you tried was knitting or baking banana bread.  It might have been a little bigger deal if the thing you were learning was car repair.  But, what if there were actual stakes?  When being a novice learner also means something to your future, it is much more frightening and requires more courage to try.  For your students, this is a daily occurrence.

Regular readers of this blog know that I have recently started a new job at the YMCA.  Among other things, I enroll new members, sell guest passes, accept payments for personal training, activate scan cards, and try to solve membership related issues.  Personify, the computer software system used by the Y, is a complex array of fields that seems to have a language of its own.  If someone's child is not showing up related to their membership, they can't admit them to the drop in day care center.  Now that I know how to do that, it's a pretty easy fix, but the first time I tried it, I didn't realize I had to go to the finance screen to add it to their "order" because that's not an intuitive connection.  When someone comes in with a United Healthcare AARP card, there are about seven additional steps to making them a member, and it is important to do it correctly because it is the difference between a free membership and one that costs sixty dollars per month.  

The first few weeks, I did everything wrong.  Of course I did.  It was the first time I was doing it, and it was a little like trying to take a drink of water from a fire hydrant.  My coworkers were very kind and helpful, and my supervisor reminded me that there was no mistake I could make that couldn't be fixed.  Members were very patient when I told them it was my first week (I'd like to keep using that excuse for a couple of years).  But, I was struggling.  It's been a long time since I spent all day without any confidence in the next step of my work.

During that time, I happened to be reading the book Uprise, written by my friend, Kevin Washburn.  This book is about resilience, overcoming challenges, and growth.  The chapter on practice spoke to me during that week.  It's not like I didn't know that things get easier with practice.  After all, I have taught that concept to students for over two decades.  But there was something about seeing it in black and white that was especially encouraging.  So, I emailed Kevin to thank him for that part of his book.  In his reply, Kevin said he was involved in another writing project, and there was a line it it, "Have the courage to be a beginner."  Below you will see how much that statement meant to me.  I printed it, laminated it, and hung it on my refrigerator.

Last week, I reminded teachers that the students in front of them were novices and to plan for that.  Today, I want us to remember how hard learning new things is.  I want us to remember how difficult it would be to experience failure over and over as they work to become competent.  I want us to admire the courage of our students as they tackle all of this on a daily basis for years.

• Hold high standards - sure
• Include rigor in your lessons - yep
• Include problems that achieve the level of "desirable difficulty" - absolutely

But also

• Care enough to give them the base knowledge they need.
• Scaffold learning to help students achieve.
• Empathize with them as they persevere.

Have a great school year, everyone!

Reflections on Learning and the Brain Conference - Part 3 - Well-Being and Happiness

Each year, when I attend the Learning and the Brain conference, I return with a very full brain, and much of what is in it is disconnected.  So, in order to process all of it, I look for themes and write about them.  This year, there will be three.  The first was on thinking and learning.  Last week was about meaning and purpose, and this final one is about well-being and happiness.  

It's no surprise to any teacher that we are in a crisis of student anxiety.  While the pandemic didn't help, it also didn't start this crisis.  Reports of unhappiness, loneliness, fear, and worry were on the rise starting about five years before Covid.  It seems to line up pretty well with the onset of smartphone ubiquity.  A student's ability to have their device on them at all times meant there was no escape from bullying and FOMO and no time to process anything before we were expected to comment on it.  According to Dr. Richard Davidson, author of The Neuroscience of Compassion, The Emotional Life of Your Brain, and The Science of Meditation, among many other books, isolation is now classified as an epidemic based on studies from 2003 to 2020.

The bad news is that lack of social connection is a major risk factor for many chronic health problems.  From hypertension to obesity to the premature onset of Alzheimer's disease, there are few conditions that aren't exacerbated by the absence of deep and meaningful relationships.  

The good news is that well-being is a skill, so it can be learned and practiced.  You can train yourself to be present in the moment (Mindfulness doesn't have to mean yoga).  You can take a few minutes each week to assess how connected you feel to your coworkers and your surroundings and take steps to improve them by taking a walk with a work friend during lunch (making your more connected to people) or do something to fill a need at work or church (making you feel more of a sense of place).  The number one factor in staying connected is having a sense of purpose because it helps you to imagine the future and your part in it.  This is the reason why some retired people thrive and others die soon after.  Those who use the time to volunteer, care for children, or effect change in their community live much longer than those who view retirement as a time of extended vacation.

Learning new things and making meaning of what you are learning also improves your sense of well being and helps you live longer.  Teachers, we have the ability to help our students view their learning as more meaningful than passing a test or job training.  We can help them see the awe and wonder that we do in our content.  And, if everyone in the class is seeing it, there is power in the feeling of belonging.  Their learning schema and their social schema overlap, giving a deeper and more complete understanding of the world.

In an 85 years long (and still running) study on happiness, there were four trends in the people who reported more sustainable happiness.  They were

• social support. 
• the freedom to make life choices. 
• the opportunity to be generous with time, money, effort, or expertise.
• high trust level in those around them.  

Notice that money is not on this list.  It did show up in reports of loneliness, which did correlate with those making below $24,000 per year.  (My conclusion - not those of the researchers - from that correlation is that people making very low amounts of money are probably working a lot of hours and perhaps at odd times and, therefore, have less opportunity for social connection.  It's not caused by lack of money but by the circumstances.)  Money spent on experiences rather than stuff is a better investment in well-being.  Being curious is a free way to gain social interaction.  If you go to a free event at your local museum about something you find interesting, you will also find other people there who find it interesting as well.  You could strike up a conversation with someone about that shared interest and find well-being in the process.  That may be the only conversation you ever have with them, or you might find that you share so much you start a club.

The other good news is that you don't have to make a major life change to make this happen.  You can take small repeated actions.  Text a friend you haven't seen in a while.  Have a weekly lunch with a colleague.  Donate to a cause (a small amount monthly might be better for you than a larger one time donation); if you don't have money, make a point to volunteer one day per month.  Visit the free or low cost events in your area (museums and libraries and churches hold a lot of them) on weekends.  

The point is that we can structure our lives in such a way that we combat isolation with small sustainable changes.  Take one action today.