Stop Blaming Millennials for Being What You Made Them

Baby Boomers and Generation X'ers have been bemoaning the current generation for a while now.  The common complaints are that Millennials are:
- Lazy
- Entitled and Ungrateful
- Narcissistic
- Disrespectful to Authority
- Never Paying Attention

Disclosure Statement:  I was born in 1976, which makes me a full member of Generation X.  Since I have taught high school for the past 17 years, I have taught the youngest of Generation X as well as all of the Millennial range.

Here's the deal.  Generation X was lazy when compared to Baby Boomers who were massively lazy compared to those who survived the Great Depression.  Generation X was far less grateful for our Sony Walkmen than we would have the Millennials believe we were, and I am betting that Baby Boomers weren't as grateful for their 8-tracks as their parents would have liked either.  Disrespect for authority has been getting progressively worse throughout American history.  There are some great things about the Millennial generation, but that is for next week's post.

The two labels I believe are uniquely accurate are the low attention span and the narcissism.

Before we jump on our kids for these attributes, let's take an honest look at the cause.  With the exception of Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, every children's show since the beginning of Sesame Street has been fast moving, loud, and colorful.  No image stays on the screen for longer than twelve seconds.  The child's developing brain becomes neurologically wired to seek new stimulation every twelve seconds.  Who makes children's programming.  Hint: It's not children.  Who lets a Millennial sit with a screen for ten hours a day, making their attention span short.  Hint: The kid isn't tall enough to get at the screen for himself.

As for Narcissism, I think even Narcissus would think we have gone to far.  He only looked at himself; he didn't insist that others do so as well.  What has made the Millennials so self focused?  Could it be that they have been told since they were conceived (through headphones attached to the mother's abdomen) that they are the most wonderful, amazing, and unique snowflake God ever dropped on this earth?  Could it be that every time an authority figure has dared to point out a flaw, they were told that they were in the wrong for not understanding the child's uniqueness?  Could it be that we have been video taping, photographing, and posting about their every move and word since they came into the world?  Then we bought them selfie sticks.  Were we thinking it wouldn't make them believe they should take pictures of themselves all the time?



When you paint a picture, you can't blame the picture for having the colors you used.  When you cook a meal, it is useless to blame the taste on the ingredients you chose.  When you tell a child they are perfect every day for years, you can't be upset that they believe you.  If you are a Baby Boomer or a Generation X'er (like me), you will find yourself tempted to complain about the qualities you see in the current generation.  Before you make those complaints out loud, keep this in mind:  WE MADE THEM THIS WAY.

As Dr. Phil says, "You can't change what you don't acknowledge."  The brain can be changed, but it requires intense, focused work.  That can't happen until we acknowledge the source of the problem.  If we don't recognize that our words are part of the problem, we will continue to send mixed messages.  Nothing could ever prevent growth more than that.

Expressions We Shouldn't Carry Into 2016

Just like fashions change from season to season, there are also fads in language.  I know how the clothing changes.  There are designers that intend to have millions in skinny jeans for a year even though they told them everyone should wear bootcut the year before.  I can tell how it happens in language, but it does.  From Twitter to the board room to teacher conventions, there are certain expressions and phrases that are the hot buttons for a while.  While anything overused in this way can be annoying, there are some expressions we should just stop using altogether.  While I don't believe in resolutions, the new year seems to be a good time to drop these expressions from our vocabulary.  These are my top three expressions to abandon.

3.  Leverage - I was at an educational workshop in which I swear this word was used as a verb over a hundred times.  The workshop was only four hours long.  Unless you are talking about the physics of exchanging force for distance by use of a fulcrum, this word just means use.  Saying you can leverage an app with your students might make you feel smarter, but it doesn't make you sound smarter.  If you mean use, just say use.  (On behalf of my friend, Cheryl, you can place the word utilize in the same category.)

2.  What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. - Contrary to popular belief, this didn't first appear in a pop song.  When you say this crazy sentence, you are quoting atheist German philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche.  Thanks to the power of pop music, it has resurfaced.  It is now used for every situation that involves suffering of any kind.  Some well meaning but trite friend will try to make you feel better using this inane sentence.  Among other problems, it just isn't true.  The pneumonia I had in 6th grade did not kill me, but it absolutely didn't make me stronger.  A bullet wound might not kill you, but it certainly will not strengthen you.  The only person ever made stronger by overexposure to gamma rays was Bruce Banner; everyone else just gets radiation poisoning.  The song may be catchy, but we should stop saying this stupid expression.

1.  It is what it is.  This is my number one most hated expression in all of modern English, and I can't get through a day without hearing it.  What does it mean?  If you take it literally, it means nothing.  Most people don't mean it literally, so what does it mean in practice?  It means I GIVE UP.  It implies that a situation can't be changed, so why bother.  I've thought about this for a long time, and I cannot think of a historic figure I respect who would use this sentence.  John Adams, fighting the Continental Congress for the passage of the Declaration of Independence would never say, "Oh, well.  It is what it is."  William Wilberforce in England and Frederick Douglas in America would not have used this sentence in their fight against slavery.  The Apostles traveled the known world to carry the gospel of Christ, and it wasn't because they were content with the state of the world as it was.  Can you imagine Jesus saying it?  I can't.  Name anyone who has accomplished something with their lives, and you will not find this sentence.  Could we please put this expression behind us tonight?

As we head into the new year, let's examine our own speech.  Let's say things that are true, helpful, and meaningful.