Let Them Stress

We are almost at the end of first quarter.  This inevitably leads to one really stressful week for everyone.  Many teachers are trying to get in one last test or one project so that students who haven't done so well on the others can have another grade to provide balance.  It also means that the fall play is this week (and, at GRACE, it means Granparents' Day).  This is the first time in years that I haven't gotten an e-mail of complaint about the stress of this week, so I feel pretty safe posting this blog without anyone thinking I am directing it at them.

Without stress, you die.  Seriously - stress is an important part of being alive.  Response to stressors is one of the criteria that must be met to know if something is alive.  The definition of stress is actually pretty neutral.  It is

"Physiological or biological stress is an organism's response to a stressor such as an environmental condition or a stimulus. Stress is a body's method of reacting to a challenge. According to the stressful event, the body's way to respond to stress is by sympathetic nervous system activation which results in the fight-or-flight response. In humans, stress typically describes a negative condition or a positive condition that can have an impact on a person's mental and physical well-being."

When you are born, light is a stress.  Your eyes haven't adapted to it yet because they haven't needed to.  Yet, no one says, "That poor baby, let's keep it in darkness."  When you first learn to walk, you fall - a lot.  When they cry, we comfort them; but exactly no one says, "My Lord, keep that child sitting.  They shouldn't have the stress of falling down."  Somehow, we get that small people have to experience challenges in order to grow and learn.  Somewhere along the way, however, a lot of people start thinking their children should never be uncomfortable.  While I know that no one wants to see their child upset or in pain or stressed or sad or challenged, I also know that without those things, people do not grow.  No parent sits at home hoping that their child will not grow at all, but they do hope their child never experiences stress.  These are contradictory.

I promise that we, as teachers, do not wish to put excessive stress (which is unhealthy) on your children.  I promise that we are for them and not against them.  I promise that no teacher I have ever worked with has gleefully responded to students being overwhelmed.  I also promise that there is no death certificate anywhere that lists cause of death as "one week of stress" or "too many tests."

Stress is in all our lives and preventing students from experiencing it will not help them as they prepare for adult life.  What will help them is reflection.  Have this conversation with your child next week.  "Wow, last week was really crazy hard, huh?  Look, you are still here.  You made it, and now you have more skills than you had before.  I'm so happy you are growing."