Note: This blog is usually more professional and less personal, but sometimes I have no choice but to veer into an emotional place. This is one of those weeks.
Last Friday, we had our high school graduation. One of the things I am honored to have on my list of duties is the graduation slideshow. Like those of every school, it is a collection of photos of each senior with music designed to represent celebration, friendship, moving on, and everything else graduation represents. There is, however, often a double purpose to the music I choose for the slideshow. One year, a parent was a massive fan of Rod Stewart, so I used his song "Forever Young." Another year, there were several kids who were big fans of The Office, so I used the Creed Bratton song "All the Faces," which he sang in the finale of the show. In 2019, the parents of the seniors were the same age I was, so I chose Michael W. Smith's "Friends Are Friends Forever" because it was played so much during our senior years, and I thought they would enjoy the nostalgia.
This year's slideshow had a different Michael W. Smith song, "Pray For Me." If you don't know it, let me include some of the lyrics here.
While the song could certainly have meaning for the students as they separate from each other, I chose it to represent my friend Meagan. She has taught math near me and has been my friend for ten years. She is taking a courageous step and moving to another school. While I selfishly wish that were not happening and had been holding onto my denial for weeks, she is going to take her wonderful heart and spirit to a new place. God will use her there in different ways than he has used her here.
She began teaching math at GRACE at the age of 22 without having majored in education. I have known many great teachers who did not have education degrees, but it makes it more challenging for them because they haven't been taught jargon (like IEP, accommodations, weighted categories v. total points) or received preparation for classroom management, choosing textbooks, or deciding on a grading philosophy. Meagan learned quickly because her heart was invested in doing the job well for her students, sometimes giving way too much of her time. The crazy girl was also coaching tennis during those first few years, so she ended up working all kinds of night and weekend hours. That investment, however, gave her great relationships with students as did her decision to head up the student council a few years later. Whatever she does, she pushes students to be their best, and they love and respect her for it.
When our math department chair retired, Meagan had only been teaching for three years; but she was promoted to the position. Math can be one of the most difficult departments to chair because every student has to take math every year, and there is a lot of math phobia in the world (and not just among students - parents have their own memories and fears). That means math teachers deal with a lot of other people's anxiety, and their department chair is a sounding board for reply emails, tutoring requests, etc. It. Is. Hard. But Meagan never made it look hard. She happily edited drafts of those replies, researched good practices for her department members, talked through issues, and even helped edit exams. I've been the science department chair for 16 years, but Meagan was a better department chair than I have ever been, holding the hands of students, parents, and colleagues year after year. She is such a source of kindness.
Meagan has prompted me to grow as an educator, but she has also challenged me to grow as a person in so many ways. In these politically polarized times, she makes sure that she doesn't live in an echo chamber. She intentionally reads books and listens to podcasts by people with whom she disagrees to make sure she understands their perspective. I was talking about something a few days ago, and she said, "Yes, but here's what they would probably say in response to that." She wasn't asking me to change my mind or even telling me that I was wrong; she was just showing me the perspective I wasn't considering. I would advise you to seek out a person in your life that can do this for you, but those people are incredibly rare so you might not be able to find one. It may be easier to look for a unicorn. She is such a source of wisdom.
I told someone recently that I knew it made me sound like I was 8 years old to say "I'm sad because my friend is going to a different school next year," but it was true because I was going to miss her so much. I talk to her about everything, from the personal to the professional to the political or the spiritual. I value her advice as much as anyone I know (in spite of her being 14 years younger than I am). She is such a source of wisdom. But I also love being silly with her, laughing about our student stories, something we saw on Stephen Colbert or John Oliver, or talking about "Naked Girl" at the Y. She's one of my favorite people to tell something funny or hear something funny from. She is such a source of joy.
She's going to take all of this wisdom and joy and kindness to a different school next year because, as the song says, "the road He chose for me is not the road He chose for you." While I am going to miss seeing her every day, I know we will stay bonded (and are already making plans to take kickboxing together) because even though "the hardest part of love is letting go," I also know that "there's a greater love that holds us."
As she said in the card she gave me yesterday, "This is not a goodbye card. It's a celebration of our friendship card." I'll say the same for this post. It's not a "farewell to my friend" post. It's a "proud she is my friend" post.
