I am weird. I have always been weird. I like being weird. I believe that one of the reasons God has put me in this job is to show my students that what is normal is not always what is right. They often do not know the difference between want and need, and seeing teachers they like not have certain things is helpful for their development. They need to see that what they believe to be critical might not even be necessary. I've decided to make my next few posts about those things that are so weird about me that it makes my 8th graders stop and wonder how I am still alive.
These will include:
- I do not own a cell phone.
- I do not spend time on hair, makeup, or nails.
- I am a virgin.
- I do not pay people to do things I can do myself.
Those are the ones I have thought of so far. GRACE teachers reading this. If you know something else about me that my students think is weird, feel free to comment. I'm happy to add to this list and write about these things.
Thursday, September 29, 2016
Sunday, September 25, 2016
Growing Pains (not the TV show from the 80's)
We all know the cliche "No pain, no gain" and have no problem using it as motivation when we work out. When kids are growing, their bones hurt, and we say they are having growing pains. We seem to understand that when it comes to physical change, pain will be involved. We understand that while it is not fun, it is necessary for improvement.
The acquisition of new skills often means failing until we succeed. We know that to improve our condition, we may have to destroy the old condition. We practice a dance move over and over until we get it right, suffering leg pain, foot pain, and blisters in the process. We take a kind of pride in our soreness after a hard workout. We practice free throws, putts, and other athletic skills over and over. We hire personal trainers to yell at us, making the pain we experience from a workout even worse. We intentionally don't look at the ingredients on bottles of skin enhancers because we would rather have the results than be grossed out by the contents when we could just look better. When it comes to improving the body, we get it. There must be pain for there to be growth.
As I teacher, I will tell you that most people don't seem to get it when it comes to improving the mind. When I push a student past their current state, they are rather upset by it. Many (but not all) of their parents are as well. I teach eighth grade, which is a difficult transition year because it is the year a start as a middle schooler and ends as a high school student. Teachers must take students higher up on the Bloom's taxonomy ladder more often. The study methods students use for the first years of school are not enough any more. They must start making connections between different aspects of the material they are learning, and they must connect it to things they have already learned. They must apply and analyze information in a way they haven't had to before. Students who have always been high performers on tests suddenly find themselves making lower grades than they used to.
I know this sounds like it is all bad news, but it isn't. Lifting weights doesn't make your muscles stronger. If they did, each rep would be easier than the last. We all know that doesn't happen. Muscles grow stronger BECAUSE the muscle fibers are broken down by lifting weights that are heavier than the muscle can currently lift. They then repair themselves with more connections. Personal trainers take people beyond what they believe to be their physical limits. If they don't, the trainee will not see results. The same is true of the brain. When a student first learns something, they may be confused and feel off balance because the material is more difficult than what their mind can process in its current state. The educational term for this is "mental disequilibrium." As the new skill is practiced, the brain is brought back into balance with the new skill. That is learning. This means if a student is never confused, he isn't learning. If I don't stretch them beyond what they believe their limit to be, they will not see results. You would fire your trainer if every workout was easy, and you should drop any teacher that makes every class period easy.
The acquisition of new skills often means failing until we succeed. We know that to improve our condition, we may have to destroy the old condition. We practice a dance move over and over until we get it right, suffering leg pain, foot pain, and blisters in the process. We take a kind of pride in our soreness after a hard workout. We practice free throws, putts, and other athletic skills over and over. We hire personal trainers to yell at us, making the pain we experience from a workout even worse. We intentionally don't look at the ingredients on bottles of skin enhancers because we would rather have the results than be grossed out by the contents when we could just look better. When it comes to improving the body, we get it. There must be pain for there to be growth.
As I teacher, I will tell you that most people don't seem to get it when it comes to improving the mind. When I push a student past their current state, they are rather upset by it. Many (but not all) of their parents are as well. I teach eighth grade, which is a difficult transition year because it is the year a start as a middle schooler and ends as a high school student. Teachers must take students higher up on the Bloom's taxonomy ladder more often. The study methods students use for the first years of school are not enough any more. They must start making connections between different aspects of the material they are learning, and they must connect it to things they have already learned. They must apply and analyze information in a way they haven't had to before. Students who have always been high performers on tests suddenly find themselves making lower grades than they used to.
I know this sounds like it is all bad news, but it isn't. Lifting weights doesn't make your muscles stronger. If they did, each rep would be easier than the last. We all know that doesn't happen. Muscles grow stronger BECAUSE the muscle fibers are broken down by lifting weights that are heavier than the muscle can currently lift. They then repair themselves with more connections. Personal trainers take people beyond what they believe to be their physical limits. If they don't, the trainee will not see results. The same is true of the brain. When a student first learns something, they may be confused and feel off balance because the material is more difficult than what their mind can process in its current state. The educational term for this is "mental disequilibrium." As the new skill is practiced, the brain is brought back into balance with the new skill. That is learning. This means if a student is never confused, he isn't learning. If I don't stretch them beyond what they believe their limit to be, they will not see results. You would fire your trainer if every workout was easy, and you should drop any teacher that makes every class period easy.
Wednesday, September 21, 2016
Accreditation Celebration
For the past two years, we have been preparing for the renewal of our school's accreditation. For the past two days, we have been visited by the accreditation review team. This is a great, scary, tiring, exhiliarating, interesting, and unsettling process. Anyone who gets inspected on their job understands how weird it is to have someone you don't know come in and watch you do your job.
Here's a ridiculously brief summary of how it works. We start by dividing into committees involving teachers across multiple levels of the school, parents, a student representative, and often an administrator. Each committee is assigned some aspect of the school to examine. My committee examined the teaching and learning aspects of the school. Others involved resource allocation, leadership, etc. We rated ourselves on various criteria related to that aspect of the school. We examined everything from whether we think we do it well to whether we think we do it from a distinctly Christian perspective. We gathered evidence to support our opinons (in my case, student work), and we write a report. Those reports are then compiled into one large report and sent to the external review team.
The team read our report and examined our evidence for about a month before they showed up on our campus. They wrote questions of things they might like more detail on or would like to see verified. They toured our campuses, met our leadership, and began their discussions with each other. Then, they spent most of a day and a half observing our classrooms. Between them, these six people sat in on 50 lessons. That's an impressive cross section of our school. They rated on us the learning environment we provide for our students.
Yesterday afternoon, they delivered their findings (our report card if you want it in school terms) to the administration in detail and then the summary to our entire faculty and staff. As he began his presentation, I was interested in one thing, the slide with the ratings. All the other information is helpful and useful, but I wanted to see the brass tacks numbers. For seven different fields, we were given a rating between one and four during every observation. Those ratings were then averaged together, and our LOWEST average rating was 3.54! I believe in what we are doing, but that was an incredible validation of what we knew. Yes, there were things to improve on, but those were things we had already identified ourselves as needs and are in progress.
I spoke to one of our administrators, who said that our technology program was praised in particular. He told them that they see a lot of computers and many one-to-one programs, but they didn't see people using it as well as we did. I would like to point out that this is due to the tireless effforts of several people. Sean and Diane, you may not be with us any more, but you got us started on the right foot, noticed our plateau / regression year, and took action to move us forward. Laura, Tomeka, Daniel, and Carol, you have continued to coach us and encourage us to use the technology, not just in new ways but in more meaningful ways. Dana and Anthony, you tirelessly put out fires and prevent them. None of this would happen without your continued efforts to make it all work. Thank you to all of you because we know you work hard to make our work easier.
The other statement made yesterday that stuck with me was that they felt our Biblical worldview integration was natural and unforced. They even said students had commented on that. It stuck with me because I came from public school and really had to learn to do it. For years, I felt that I was perhaps forcing it, and I appreciate that people have taken the time to really help us INTEGRATE, not add, biblical teaching into our curriculum.
We will see the details of this report in days to come and begin work on the areas of suggested improvement; but for right now, we all get to take a deep breath and thank God for the incredible community in which he has placed us.
Here's a ridiculously brief summary of how it works. We start by dividing into committees involving teachers across multiple levels of the school, parents, a student representative, and often an administrator. Each committee is assigned some aspect of the school to examine. My committee examined the teaching and learning aspects of the school. Others involved resource allocation, leadership, etc. We rated ourselves on various criteria related to that aspect of the school. We examined everything from whether we think we do it well to whether we think we do it from a distinctly Christian perspective. We gathered evidence to support our opinons (in my case, student work), and we write a report. Those reports are then compiled into one large report and sent to the external review team.
The team read our report and examined our evidence for about a month before they showed up on our campus. They wrote questions of things they might like more detail on or would like to see verified. They toured our campuses, met our leadership, and began their discussions with each other. Then, they spent most of a day and a half observing our classrooms. Between them, these six people sat in on 50 lessons. That's an impressive cross section of our school. They rated on us the learning environment we provide for our students.
Yesterday afternoon, they delivered their findings (our report card if you want it in school terms) to the administration in detail and then the summary to our entire faculty and staff. As he began his presentation, I was interested in one thing, the slide with the ratings. All the other information is helpful and useful, but I wanted to see the brass tacks numbers. For seven different fields, we were given a rating between one and four during every observation. Those ratings were then averaged together, and our LOWEST average rating was 3.54! I believe in what we are doing, but that was an incredible validation of what we knew. Yes, there were things to improve on, but those were things we had already identified ourselves as needs and are in progress.
I spoke to one of our administrators, who said that our technology program was praised in particular. He told them that they see a lot of computers and many one-to-one programs, but they didn't see people using it as well as we did. I would like to point out that this is due to the tireless effforts of several people. Sean and Diane, you may not be with us any more, but you got us started on the right foot, noticed our plateau / regression year, and took action to move us forward. Laura, Tomeka, Daniel, and Carol, you have continued to coach us and encourage us to use the technology, not just in new ways but in more meaningful ways. Dana and Anthony, you tirelessly put out fires and prevent them. None of this would happen without your continued efforts to make it all work. Thank you to all of you because we know you work hard to make our work easier.
The other statement made yesterday that stuck with me was that they felt our Biblical worldview integration was natural and unforced. They even said students had commented on that. It stuck with me because I came from public school and really had to learn to do it. For years, I felt that I was perhaps forcing it, and I appreciate that people have taken the time to really help us INTEGRATE, not add, biblical teaching into our curriculum.
We will see the details of this report in days to come and begin work on the areas of suggested improvement; but for right now, we all get to take a deep breath and thank God for the incredible community in which he has placed us.
Sunday, September 18, 2016
The Heisenberg Principle of Education
One of my biggest pet peeves is when scientific principles are co-opted for other purposes. "Social Darwinism," for example, bears little resemblance to Darwin's observations. Einstein's theory of relativity is not meant for you to have whatever opinion you want and then say, "It's all relative." However, I am about to use Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle as a means of explaining a teaching phenomenon.
First, the science. Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle states that the more precisely the position of some particle is determined, the less precisely its momentum can be known, and vice versa. In other words, if I know the location of an electron with certainty, I cannot know it's velocity. If I know its precise velocity, I cannot know its location. The reason this is true is that in order to measure a precise location, one must use some kind of measuring device that will affect the velocity of the particle. The same is true for measuring the velocity. In the time it takes to measure velocity, the location of the particle will have changed. Electrons even have the weird habit of behaving differently when we measure them than they do when we aren't. The act of measuring (or even observing) a thing changes it.
What, you may ask, does this have to do with education? I'm glad you asked. Teachers spend most of our year just doing our thing in our classes with our students. Every once in a while, however, we are observed. It could be a prospective student; it could be our administrator. This week, GRACE is being visited by a team for the purposes of accreditation. We will have people in and out of our classrooms for a couple of days.
I have told my kids that I have no intent of showing off or faking anything for anyone, and I don't. The lesson plan I have set for tomorrow is the same as it would have been whether the team was coming to visit or not. I printed it out in a bit more detail because I tend to leave out the parts that only I need. No matter how much I intend to be myself, however, I know that there will be some differences. I have been observed enough times to know that I will probably talk a little faster than usual and second guess everything I say. Students, if your other teachers are doing that too, please don't hold it against us. It isn't our intent to lie; it's just that the act of observing something changes it. If you believe I have actually put on a false show, tell me. Be respectful and private about it, but please tell me. I want to know if I am giving you that impression.
First, the science. Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle states that the more precisely the position of some particle is determined, the less precisely its momentum can be known, and vice versa. In other words, if I know the location of an electron with certainty, I cannot know it's velocity. If I know its precise velocity, I cannot know its location. The reason this is true is that in order to measure a precise location, one must use some kind of measuring device that will affect the velocity of the particle. The same is true for measuring the velocity. In the time it takes to measure velocity, the location of the particle will have changed. Electrons even have the weird habit of behaving differently when we measure them than they do when we aren't. The act of measuring (or even observing) a thing changes it.
What, you may ask, does this have to do with education? I'm glad you asked. Teachers spend most of our year just doing our thing in our classes with our students. Every once in a while, however, we are observed. It could be a prospective student; it could be our administrator. This week, GRACE is being visited by a team for the purposes of accreditation. We will have people in and out of our classrooms for a couple of days.
I have told my kids that I have no intent of showing off or faking anything for anyone, and I don't. The lesson plan I have set for tomorrow is the same as it would have been whether the team was coming to visit or not. I printed it out in a bit more detail because I tend to leave out the parts that only I need. No matter how much I intend to be myself, however, I know that there will be some differences. I have been observed enough times to know that I will probably talk a little faster than usual and second guess everything I say. Students, if your other teachers are doing that too, please don't hold it against us. It isn't our intent to lie; it's just that the act of observing something changes it. If you believe I have actually put on a false show, tell me. Be respectful and private about it, but please tell me. I want to know if I am giving you that impression.
Sunday, September 11, 2016
Is This Test Hard?
Teachers live for questions. We love them. They are the number one sign of student engagement. Our love for questions has even led to the patently ridiculous aphorism, "There are no stupid questions." That's not true. There are A LOT of stupid questions. This post is about one of them.
"Is this test hard?"
I haven't kept a record of every question I have ever been asked; but if I had to guess, this is probably the question I have been asked more times than any other. If not, it is certainly in the top three (along with, "May I go to the bathroom?" and "Can we get extra credit points for . . .?") Here's the answer to that question.
I don't know.
I really don't know. I have a science degree, and I have taught this material for 17 years, and I wrote the questions. The test isn't hard FOR ME. I have no way of knowing if it will be hard for you. The follow up question is the usually, "Has it been hard for past students?" The answer to that isn't any more satisfying; the answer is "For some of them." Some of them paid attention while others did not. Some have taken good notes while others have note. Some have studied well while others have not. Some have come to me for extra help while others have not. Some are good at analysis while others have not yet built that skill. This means that the test was hard for some people, but it was not for others.
Every test is hard for some people, but it is rarely because the test questions are written to be difficult. In fact, I am often surprised at which questions are frequently missed. The question I thought was easy and told students would be on the test is often the one answered incorrectly by the most students. Apparently, telling students a question will definitely be on the test is a sure we to prevent them from studying that question. I can't pretend to understand that, but students have been leaving, "List the two parts of the kinetic theory of matter" blank for a lot of years in spite of all my efforts. Some students read only the first part of questions and jump straight to a memorized answer, which means questions with nuances will be wrong. For math problems in science, I require a certain format; but it sometimes takes two or three tests before students believe that I will take points off if they don't follow it. Sometimes I get very short answers to questions that require complex reasoning. For example, when I ask students to describe why people float better in the dead sea than in a pool, I sometimes get answers like, "Cuz of the salt." When I asked students to describe in detail the process of breathing using Boyle's Law, some of them answer, "First you inhale; then you exhale." These answers are clearly worth five points each. The most frequent incorrect answer to an all of the above question is "a," reflecting that these students didn't read the other choices. All of these result in points lost, but none of them reflect that the test is hard.
Teachers write questions using something called Bloom's Taxonomy of thinking levels (see the above diagram). Everyone knows how to prepare for the remembering level by using flashcards or repetition, and by middle school, most of my students have become pretty good at preparing for the understanding level if the teacher has told them it will be a question on the test. Application and Analysis level questions require a different kind of preparation, and it can't be found in the book. When I ask these types of questions, no matter how simple, that test is considered "a hard test." If you are wondering about the top two levels, they require more processing time than a timed test would usually allow. Evaluation tends to be done in debates or essays, and creation is usually achieved with projects.
Lack of preparation makes tests hard. Students, next time you study for a test, try to identify what level of thinking is required. If something requires an explanation, recognize that flashcards alone won't get you there. If several pieces of material can connect, be prepared for analytical questions that relate those. Proper preparation will make you walk into a test prepared and walk out believing it wasn't a hard test.
"Is this test hard?"
I haven't kept a record of every question I have ever been asked; but if I had to guess, this is probably the question I have been asked more times than any other. If not, it is certainly in the top three (along with, "May I go to the bathroom?" and "Can we get extra credit points for . . .?") Here's the answer to that question.
I don't know.
I really don't know. I have a science degree, and I have taught this material for 17 years, and I wrote the questions. The test isn't hard FOR ME. I have no way of knowing if it will be hard for you. The follow up question is the usually, "Has it been hard for past students?" The answer to that isn't any more satisfying; the answer is "For some of them." Some of them paid attention while others did not. Some have taken good notes while others have note. Some have studied well while others have not. Some have come to me for extra help while others have not. Some are good at analysis while others have not yet built that skill. This means that the test was hard for some people, but it was not for others.
Every test is hard for some people, but it is rarely because the test questions are written to be difficult. In fact, I am often surprised at which questions are frequently missed. The question I thought was easy and told students would be on the test is often the one answered incorrectly by the most students. Apparently, telling students a question will definitely be on the test is a sure we to prevent them from studying that question. I can't pretend to understand that, but students have been leaving, "List the two parts of the kinetic theory of matter" blank for a lot of years in spite of all my efforts. Some students read only the first part of questions and jump straight to a memorized answer, which means questions with nuances will be wrong. For math problems in science, I require a certain format; but it sometimes takes two or three tests before students believe that I will take points off if they don't follow it. Sometimes I get very short answers to questions that require complex reasoning. For example, when I ask students to describe why people float better in the dead sea than in a pool, I sometimes get answers like, "Cuz of the salt." When I asked students to describe in detail the process of breathing using Boyle's Law, some of them answer, "First you inhale; then you exhale." These answers are clearly worth five points each. The most frequent incorrect answer to an all of the above question is "a," reflecting that these students didn't read the other choices. All of these result in points lost, but none of them reflect that the test is hard.
Teachers write questions using something called Bloom's Taxonomy of thinking levels (see the above diagram). Everyone knows how to prepare for the remembering level by using flashcards or repetition, and by middle school, most of my students have become pretty good at preparing for the understanding level if the teacher has told them it will be a question on the test. Application and Analysis level questions require a different kind of preparation, and it can't be found in the book. When I ask these types of questions, no matter how simple, that test is considered "a hard test." If you are wondering about the top two levels, they require more processing time than a timed test would usually allow. Evaluation tends to be done in debates or essays, and creation is usually achieved with projects.
Lack of preparation makes tests hard. Students, next time you study for a test, try to identify what level of thinking is required. If something requires an explanation, recognize that flashcards alone won't get you there. If several pieces of material can connect, be prepared for analytical questions that relate those. Proper preparation will make you walk into a test prepared and walk out believing it wasn't a hard test.
Thursday, September 8, 2016
Boldly Go
It was fifty years ago today that Kirk, Spoke, Uhura, Scotty, and Bones took off on their five-year mission. Although the show itself lasted only three years, its impact has been felt for fifty. As a lifelong geek, I'm proud to tell my students I am a fan of Star Trek (even when they insist Star Wars is better as though I am only allowed to like one of them).
Awards shows don't reward science fiction, so the Star Trek franchise has never gotten the critical acclaim it has rightfully earned. Awards are not, however, the sole measure of successful television. Star Trek has inspired our culture in more ways than most people realize. This short list is just what I have thought of.
Science Education - I know more than one person who went into a scientific career because they loved Spock or into engineering because they were inspired by what Scotty was able to do with a warp engine. They were under no illusion that these things actually exist, but they were inspired by the scientific possibilities. There is, by the way, a fantastic book out there all about the scientific concepts used in the show. It is called The Physics of Star Trek. If you go to GRACE, it is in our library. There are certainly some things that the show stretched because it is fiction, but there are also a lot of ways in which they were visionaries ahead of their time.
Technology - Speaking of being ahead of their time, take a look at some of the technologies envisioned by the creators of any of the Star Trek movies or shows. Just in the collection of pictures below, you should recognize the precursors to Palm Pilots, Bluetooth, Google Glass, Skype, Cell Phones, and iPads. I'm not saying that these wouldn't have been invented without Star Trek, but every invention starts with an idea, a dream of something in the future. That's what the writers of Star Trek gave inventors.
A Vision of Racial Harmony - When Whoopie Goldberg was cast in Star Trek: The Next Generation, there were quite a few people scratching their heads about why a movie star of her status (which was quite big at the time - Remember Ghost?) would want to be cast in episodic television. Even Gene Roddenberry didn't think she was serious when she requested a role. She was asked about it in an interview for the DVD box set, and she said two things that stuck with me. "First," she said, when you get to be a movie star, you get take the parts you want." True, but why did she want it? She said that when she was growing up, she didn't see African American portrayed in roles of authority. However, in 1966, she watched Lieutenant Uhura command respect and hold her own as a bridge officer. I've seen interviews with Ronald McNair and Mae Jemison, black astronauts in the 80's and 90's, in which they said the same thing. They believed that careers in space could be within their reach because of Star Trek.
A Vision of Gender Equality - Lieutenant Uhura also inspired women of other races. She was on that bridge with men and was a trusted advisor to Captain Kirk. By the time of The Next Generation, the doctors were women. There were female captains, and in the episode "The First Duty," the head of Starfleet Academy is a woman. Captain Janeway commands the respect of her people on Star Trek: Voyager, when they actually benefitted from having a more motherly leader in their captain.
Gene Roddenberry's view of the future may not match our reality, but it does give us something to think about and some things to aspire to. Thanks for the last fifty years, Gene.
Awards shows don't reward science fiction, so the Star Trek franchise has never gotten the critical acclaim it has rightfully earned. Awards are not, however, the sole measure of successful television. Star Trek has inspired our culture in more ways than most people realize. This short list is just what I have thought of.
Science Education - I know more than one person who went into a scientific career because they loved Spock or into engineering because they were inspired by what Scotty was able to do with a warp engine. They were under no illusion that these things actually exist, but they were inspired by the scientific possibilities. There is, by the way, a fantastic book out there all about the scientific concepts used in the show. It is called The Physics of Star Trek. If you go to GRACE, it is in our library. There are certainly some things that the show stretched because it is fiction, but there are also a lot of ways in which they were visionaries ahead of their time.Technology - Speaking of being ahead of their time, take a look at some of the technologies envisioned by the creators of any of the Star Trek movies or shows. Just in the collection of pictures below, you should recognize the precursors to Palm Pilots, Bluetooth, Google Glass, Skype, Cell Phones, and iPads. I'm not saying that these wouldn't have been invented without Star Trek, but every invention starts with an idea, a dream of something in the future. That's what the writers of Star Trek gave inventors.
A Vision of Racial Harmony - When Whoopie Goldberg was cast in Star Trek: The Next Generation, there were quite a few people scratching their heads about why a movie star of her status (which was quite big at the time - Remember Ghost?) would want to be cast in episodic television. Even Gene Roddenberry didn't think she was serious when she requested a role. She was asked about it in an interview for the DVD box set, and she said two things that stuck with me. "First," she said, when you get to be a movie star, you get take the parts you want." True, but why did she want it? She said that when she was growing up, she didn't see African American portrayed in roles of authority. However, in 1966, she watched Lieutenant Uhura command respect and hold her own as a bridge officer. I've seen interviews with Ronald McNair and Mae Jemison, black astronauts in the 80's and 90's, in which they said the same thing. They believed that careers in space could be within their reach because of Star Trek.
A Vision of Gender Equality - Lieutenant Uhura also inspired women of other races. She was on that bridge with men and was a trusted advisor to Captain Kirk. By the time of The Next Generation, the doctors were women. There were female captains, and in the episode "The First Duty," the head of Starfleet Academy is a woman. Captain Janeway commands the respect of her people on Star Trek: Voyager, when they actually benefitted from having a more motherly leader in their captain.
Gene Roddenberry's view of the future may not match our reality, but it does give us something to think about and some things to aspire to. Thanks for the last fifty years, Gene.
Monday, September 5, 2016
I Teach Science, and You Should Be Jealous
If you are an English, History, Math, or Foreign Language teacher, I'm sorry to tell you this. Your job is not as fun as mine. Sure, you get to distribute numbers and solve system with substitution (my favorite property and system solving method). You might get talk about wars and stuff. You get to parse every word of Ode on a Grecian Urn (which is my favorite poem ever). Those things are fun, but they aren't as fun as my job. I'll prove it.
Here's what I get to do that you do NOT:
- Build boats out of Aluminum foil (after teaching them that it is not Tin foil) and sink them with pennies.
- Crush cans with air pressure by dunking them in ice.
- Have students push your car around the building.
- Rip plastic bottles to shreds by blowing them up.
- Buy dry ice at 6:30 in the morning so you can watch kids play with it the same day.
- Wear goggles.
- Donate your cat's body to the teacher across the hall for dissection.
- Eat chalk.
- Pop a water balloon in your own face.
- Use a nerf gun with a protractor.
- Play catch to analyze the trajectory.
- Spin kids in a chair.
- Push kids down the hall in a chair.
- Push kids in the parking lot in a chair.
- Hollow out pennies.
- Split salt molecules.
- Use 9 Volt batteries to make sparks.
- Lick 9 Volt batteries.
- Play with slinkys.
- Play the nose flute.
Are you jealous of me yet? No? Here are some more.
- Tape students to walls
- Drop eggs off the building
- Make kids hair stand on end with electricity
- Ignite hydrogen
- Jump off of chairs
- Sling a bucket of water in a circle over your head
- Spin in circles in the parking lot
- Make parachutes for army men
- Set stuff on fire
- Drive fast while honking
- Shine laser pointers at mirrors
- Teach kids why the sky is blue
- Show laser eye surgery
- Wrap students in bubble wrap
There's more, but I'm pretty sure I've made my point. So there.
Here's what I get to do that you do NOT:
- Build boats out of Aluminum foil (after teaching them that it is not Tin foil) and sink them with pennies.
- Crush cans with air pressure by dunking them in ice.
- Have students push your car around the building.
- Rip plastic bottles to shreds by blowing them up.
- Buy dry ice at 6:30 in the morning so you can watch kids play with it the same day.
- Wear goggles.
- Donate your cat's body to the teacher across the hall for dissection.
- Eat chalk.
- Pop a water balloon in your own face.
- Use a nerf gun with a protractor.
- Play catch to analyze the trajectory.
- Spin kids in a chair.
- Push kids down the hall in a chair.
- Push kids in the parking lot in a chair.
- Hollow out pennies.
- Split salt molecules.
- Use 9 Volt batteries to make sparks.
- Lick 9 Volt batteries.
- Play with slinkys.
- Play the nose flute.
Are you jealous of me yet? No? Here are some more.
- Tape students to walls
- Drop eggs off the building
- Make kids hair stand on end with electricity
- Ignite hydrogen
- Jump off of chairs
- Sling a bucket of water in a circle over your head
- Spin in circles in the parking lot
- Make parachutes for army men
- Set stuff on fire
- Drive fast while honking
- Shine laser pointers at mirrors
- Teach kids why the sky is blue
- Show laser eye surgery
- Wrap students in bubble wrap
There's more, but I'm pretty sure I've made my point. So there.
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