Range of Healthy Balance

When I was a kid, my parents told me that there was no such thing as a job description. "Whatever your boss asks you to do," they said, "that's your job description for that day. You should always be the best employee they have." Now, listen, they weren't advocating standing for abuse or doing things that made you feel morally compromised. They were just saying that you should always do your best to contribute to whatever team you were on and never to say, "That's not my job; someone else should do it."

Fast forward a few decades, and I find myself doing something rare - muting a phrase on Twitter because I couldn't believe educators were part of it. That phrase was "quiet quitting." For those of you who don't spend a lot of time on social media, let me explain what it means. Quiet quitting means doing exactly what you are contracted to do and not one iota more. That means no sponsoring a club unless it is specifically in your contract. It means no chaperoning dances or field trips. It means no staying after school to help tutor a struggling student. It means you come to school at your contracted time, teach your contracted classes, and go home at the end of your contracted day. It means you don't do any of the things that make you a teacher besides the actual act of teaching class. 

Do I understand why this happened? Of course I do. There are absolutely schools and districts who take advantage of their staff, working them to their breaking point and then just replacing them when they do. I'm not suggesting that anyone put up with that. But this is a coward's way out. Even the name implies that you know what you are doing is the equivalent of not doing your job at all.  Meanwhile, there is an attempt to make it sound virtuous - like you are protecting everyone in the future. In reality, the jobs you are refusing to do still have to get done, and someone will do them.  All you have accomplished is shifting responsibilities from your plate to theirs.

You absolutely need to set healthy boundaries about what time you are willing to answer e-mails and how many extracurricular activities you are willing to commit to. Of course, it is important that you have a life outside of school, so if you are grading until 9PM, something is wrong with someone's expectations. If you are going home at the end of the day and dissolving into a useless puddle, you are working too hard. Please don't think that because I am against one end of the spectrum that I am in favor of the other end.

What I am advocating for is an acceptable range - one where we model excellence to our students without compromising our own health. Because it is a range, there may be days or weeks that lean more heavily towards work - exam preparation week, for example. And there may be days when you have to say, "I'm showing a high quality science video because I couldn't finish grading yesterday afternoon and need the class time to do it today." In a range of healthy balance, you might sponsor a club, but you might limit how many times a month it meets. 

Quiet quitting is anything but quiet. It is about stamping your foot and throwing a tantrum to demand you be paid for anything outside of your contract hours, as though every item, duty, and meeting could be made a line in your contract. It's about going online to brag about how little you are doing and how the system won't keep you down.  A person with healthy balance takes a PTO day when they need some rest; a quiet quitter takes every single one just because they can and will squeeze the last one in during exam review if they have to. 

The quiet quitter isn't virtuous. They aren't making the system better. A person who wants to change things goes through a process, petitions their leaders, has difficult conversations. A person who goes on social media isn't getting something done; they are getting attention.  It's raising slacktivism to another level.

Teachers, as you return from break, you get to a bit of a reset. You can set new boundaries with your students, administrators, families, and yourself. Recognize every week is not going to be the same and every person is not going to be the same.  Find your balance range - not someone else's. 

Resetting Out Rhythm - A Walk in the Woods

I didn't intend to write a series on finding balance, but this does appear to be the 3rd one in a row.  I don't know if that's a sign that I need this or that you do, but here we are.

On Wednesday, I had an odd little gap of time in my schedule.  I took a class at the Y that ended at 8.  I was subbing that day, but they didn't need me until 9:30.  The night before, I remembered that there is an arboretum between those locations and that it has been a while since I have photographed anything.  

Plan made.

North Carolina being what it is, I woke up to 35 degree weather, but I had already made my plan, so I put Papa's sweater and my camera in the car.  

When I got to the JC Raulston Arboretum, I found more than beautiful blooms to photograph.  I found that I was in a different rhythm.  I don't know if it is a result of the fall, but human schedules are out of step with creation.  

The pace of nature is different than the schedule we create for ourselves. Birds work hard to build their nests, but they don't have a time tabled to-do list. Plants don't feel the need to grow an inch by the end of the day. No matter how hard we try, we cannot contain grass to the places we want it to grow.  It'll pop up through a crack in the sidewalk if it wants to.  Our need to contain, schedule, and organize is unnatural.  

I'm not saying we shouldn't do those things.  We need to be productive and responsible, and some of you are responsible for keeping small people alive. But I am suggesting that, if we are to maintain our sanity, we have to take time to reset.  I'm not talking about self-care. That's just become an excuse for shirking our responsibilities without feeling guilty about it. I'm talking about reconnecting with natural rhythms in creation.  I'm talk about rest.

Most of the world's religions have an ethic of rest, even though we are bad at practicing it.  My friend, Dana Trent, does a fantastic job of describing this in her book For Sabbath's Sake.   Like everything Dana writes, says, or does, it is simultaneously profound, entertaining, and highly relatable. She opens with a story of breaking off a Q-tip in her ear and deciding to wait to address it until after she had taught her class (absolutely what I would do too) and spends a chapter describing her experience at a retreat center in which she found she was "bad at resting."  Ten out of ten recommend this book.

There is a reason that Sabbath had to be a commandment. We don't do it.  Even though it is good for us.  Even though we would be glad if we did.  Even though it is the way were originally designed as image bearers.  We forget that we have to intentionally step out of ourselves to reconnect with things that are bigger than us.  (Even if you are not a person of faith, you must recognize the need for this connection and feel the pull toward something outside of your own schedule.)

Spring provides an important reminder.  Plants that have lain dormant all winter were not dead; they were resting and are now experiencing renewal.  Bears that have hibernated all winter are ready to forage again. Easter reminds us that death does not have the final say.  Birds that have been quiet for months are out there singing again.  Perhaps this is even why we engage in spring cleaning; it's just a natural time for a reset.

Teachers, I know spring is busy.  I know you are in the sprint toward the end of the year.  I know that exams will be due to your administrators soon, and you I'm not suggesting that you go on a retreat.  I'm suggesting that you take half an hour to take a walk in the woods.  I'm well aware of how blessed I am to have an Arboretum right in the heart of my city and that not everyone has that. But you can find something - a tree, a squirrel, a neighborhood dog to pet - lie down on the ground and look at clouds - something.  

Take a few minutes to reset your rhythm.  You'll be glad you did.

Keeping Balance in Unstable Times

Anyone who knows me can tell you that my sense of physical balance is terrible.  I can be standing still and suddenly be off balance.  I can trip over lines in the tile floor.  If I close my eyes, I lose all orientation in space, so I never know what direction I will be facing when my eyes open again.  This is due to two physical factors.  For one thing, my hips, knees, and toes do not align.  The other part is in my brain.  There is some structural issue in my cerebellum that prevents me from processing input correctly, especially if the visual is removed.  When I was 12, I mentioned it to my doctor. She said, "How much does this interfere with your life?"  I said that it wasn't a big problem, usually only noticeable when we prayed while standing at church.  She said, "That's good because it would take brain surgery to fix it."  Oh, okay, it doesn't interfere at all then.

When I started working out at the Y, it began to interfere (not enough to make me want brain surgery, but more than it used to).  You can entertain yourself by watching me attempt a lunge because I look like a Picasso painting.  I can't get a decent quad stretch while standing in the middle of a the studio because by the time I get balanced on one foot, it's time to switch feet.  

Now, let's think beyond the physical.  We are living in unstable times.  Things are changing rapidly and often in more than one direction.  It's hard to find a strong footing mentally, emotionally, financially, and spiritually.  Even if you are a supporter who agrees with what they are doing, you must acknowledge that the actions of this administration have moved so quickly that they have thrown some things off balance. The stock ticker alone reflects that.  If it is disorienting for us as adults, imagine what it must be like for high school students getting ready to enter the work world.  

Teachers, what can we do to help our students (and ourself) keep our balance. 

Well, I'm going to return to the things I have learned about physical balance that can serve as metaphors because I think they'll preach.

Hold weights

This may sound counterintuitive, but I have much better balance with a 50lb weight bar on my back than I can without it.  The added weight provides downward force in line with my center of gravity.  Holding dumbbells in a suitcase carry can accomplish the same effect.  The extra weight makes the movements my body does a smaller percentage of the whole when it comes to weight distribution.

In the same way, teaching ourselves and our students balance during difficult times may be about carrying a load.  When we have work to do, there is an external force pointing in one direction. Our minds have something to focus on other than the news.  It's one of the many reasons I was grateful to keep teaching during the pandemic; I had no choice but to think about other things for large parts of the day.  And it did the same for my students.  We provided a continued understanding that big things still mattered and that the pandemic wasn't the only thing happening.  The time I got into a real head spin about the things that are happening right now was on a snow day. Without work to do or recreational activities to engage in, I was left to ruminate on thoughts while doomscrolling.  

If you find you are spiraling, give yourself a responsibility, a project, and activity - and make it large enough to provide the force you need to get out of your own head and keep your balance.

Touch something 

I don't know if you have ever considered how weird it is that we walk on two feet.  You probably haven't because you aren't as weird as I am.  But it is worth noticing that we are the only species (besides non-flight birds) that use bipedal walking as a primary form of movement?  I'm not saying nothing else can walk on two legs, but they do it for short periods and then drop back down to four for actual travel.  My cat will get on his back legs to swat at something with his front paws, but he doesn't walk to the kitchen that way.

Why?  Because bipedal motion is inherently unstable.  Most animals keep three points of contact with the ground most of the time (exceptions when running fast or for defensive reasons, but for most regular activity, they keep a tripod on the ground).  Keeping three points of contact means that if the center of gravity shifts a bit, it is still supported. 

We stand on two legs, which means there is a much narrower range to how far our center of gravity can move before we lose our balance.  Then, we pick our foot up, shifting all of our weight to one foot and make ourselves fall forward!  The other foot comes down to support our shifting center of gravity and just as soon as it does, we repeat the process with the other foot.  How are we not falling down multiple times a day?  We aren't.  We walk without even thinking about it.  If you aren't amazed by that, adjust your sense of awe.  Even atheist researcher Steven Pinker,  in his book How the Mind Works, calls it miraculous.

This is one of the reasons I can't get a decent quad stretch in some of my classes, there is nothing to provide a point of balance when I raise my foot.  I can do it in cycle because I hold tightly to the handlebars.  

In the same way, having more points of contact will help with emotional stability in unstable times.  Have trusted friends or family that you can spend time with.  They will keep it from being just you leaning in one direction or another, recentering you and providing balance.  Notice, I said that these need to be trusted people.  Unstable people will not stabilize each other.

Look at a stationary object 

A few weeks ago, during my Livestrong group, the co-leader told our ladies that they should look at something stationary in the room to help with their balance.  She said, "Don't look at me. If I'm wobbly, you probably will be too."  That had never occurred to me before, but I've been doing it ever since.  When I try to balance at the end of a class, I look at one of the instructor's weights on the floor.  It isn't perfect, but it helps.

When you are feeling out of balance mentally or emotionally, you need to focus your attention on something stable.  While this may be a strong friend, recognize that they are not immune to instability, and they are human; they cannot be your stationary object for long periods of time.  You need something bigger than that.  If you are a person of faith, you know that God "does not change like shifting shadows." He is not just stable as though that is an adjective; He IS stability.  Keep your eyes on Him.

Be okay with a few off days

This Saturday, when it came time to do a hamstring stretch, I looked at the weights on the floor, but I still couldn't stabilize.  I just couldn't find my balance.  It may be because I had other things on my mind or because I was trying too hard, but it just wasn't happening that day.  I was having an off day.

You will have off days mentally and emotionally, and that is okay.  You can wallow for a few hours.  YOu can take a nap or listen to music or eat mac and cheese.  Whatever you need during a temporary period is probably fine as long as it is an off day, not your normal way of life.  If you find these things aren't working for you on a daily basis or for a long period of time, you may be in need of a trained professional to help you find your balance.