New teachers are idealists. We have visions of what our classes will be like. Kids will be rushing to our class, love us so much that they will follow every rule, and be so engaged in our classes that the thought of misbehaving wouldn't even enter their thoughts. All parents will be so captivated by our philosophy of education that they will support everything we do. Anyone who has been in the classroom for two days or more knows that this is insane. Kids are kids; they come with their own agenda for the day. Parents care little about our philosophy because this is their child. The teaching profession is fun and wonderful, but it is NOT the image of our idealistic minds.
There is one reality that scares new teachers. When it happens (and it will), we feel guilty because we have been led to believe it wouldn't happen. We suddenly realize that there are kids we like more than others. We have been told by every teacher we ever had that they don't have favorites. We were told in college that we weren't supposed to have favorites. We made ourselves believe that it was possible not to have favorites. That would be possible if we were those animatronic people on the "It's A Small World" ride at Disneyworld, but we aren't. We are people, and our students are people. Of course, we will connect with some more than others. Of course, some of them will like us more than the others do. Of course, we will view all of our students differently (which we were taught to do in our differentiated instruction training). We should not feel guilty about this UNLESS we make decisions based on those feelings. We must treat our students equally, but it crazy to think we will actually be able to feel equally about all of them.
There are two students that we all have that challenge our ability to treat all students equally. They are our Blindspot and our Button Pusher. I'll start with the Button Pusher because they are the easiest for you to identify.
Good teachers try not to show the kids where our buttons are; but no matter how hard we try, they find them. There is one kid every year who manages to find ones even you didn't know you had. This kid finds all your buttons and not only pushes them, he dances on them. You know who this kid is. Chances are, other teachers know who this kid is for you. If you think about it for a while, you will probably find that what bothers you about your Button Pusher is that there is something about them that reminds you of something you don't like about yourself. My Button Pusher is a girl who simply must control EVERYTHING. As I have previously mentioned in this blog, I have a few control issues. It is one of the things I like least about myself. She reminds me of that, which is why it is so irritating. If you are a teacher, think about your Button Pusher. Chances are, you will figure out the the quality that irritates you is something you don't like about yourself. Perhaps, it will help.
Every teacher also has a Blindspot. These, by definition, are difficult for you to identify yourself. If you don't know who yours is, ask a teacher friend you trust. They know who yours is. This is the kid that you bend over backward to defend. When other people tell you something they did wrong, you are the first to jump in with an excuse for them. You will find yourself saying, "Yeah, but . . ." about them in faculty meetings. If you know yours is, sit down and think about them. Do they also remind you of yourself? My Blindspot is a girl who is impulsive with saying her thoughts aloud. That's me as well. I often get to the end of a faculty meeting and think, "Next week, you are going to keep your mouth shut," but I never seem to follow through on that. I often wonder if my Blindspot says that to herself at the end of the day as well.
If you are a young teacher, you desperately want to believe that you don't have a Button Pusher or a Blindspot. I promise you do. I also promise that it is okay that you have them. Knowing you have them will enable you to reduce their impact on your decision making. It will keep you from knee jerk punishing of your Button Pusher or reflexively protecting your Blindspot. It will make you a better teacher.
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