A Defense of Southern Snow Days

This message is to all the Yankees who look down on Southerners because you don't have snow days no matter what.  I have been listening to this for forty years, and now that social media exists, I have to be mocked while sitting alone in my living room.  Let's set aside for the moment the fact that these people are anywhere but the snowy north when they tell me their stories of traveling to work or school through feet of snow and that I presume they left these places and came to the south for a reason.

I'm tired of being treated like southerners are too stupid to go to work and school during snow and ice.  I would like to speak up in defense of the southern shut down during the snow, even when the amount is small.

Let's use a money analogy.  A wealthy person can buy expensive non-essentials because they have more money than they can spend.  I have students who don't think twice about paying $800 for a pair of shoes while I have to do a cost-benefit analysis when considering $80 shoes.  Because they have a lot of money, they don't think about what to do with it.  A person who doesn't have much money will put a lot of time into their decisions.  After they have met their basic needs, they must truly relish what non-essential items they spend their money on because it may be their last fun purchase for a while.   People who get a lot of snow don't have to value it.  There will always be more.  You can waste your snow day like the wealthy waste money.  You can make it part of your everyday lives because you have it every day.  Your kids build snowmen for recess, and you have outdoor activities because you have to if you are going to live your life.  And, no one in the south looks down on your for it because we know that you can't stop living your lives for three months.  In the south, however, we don't get three months worth of snow.  We sometimes only get three days of snow.  I have experienced years where not one inch fell.  For this reason, we must not waste one single flake.  It may be our only chance to make a snowball until next year.

Now, let's address driving because I'm really tired of being mocked about this.  What you think is us being stupid is actually us being responsible.  It's not just that we don't want to drive on ice; we truly can't.  Here's the deal.  When you get to practice something 60 or 70 days a year, you should be good at it.  It would be weird if you weren't.  Since we only get to practice it 2 or 3 days a year, there is no chance that we will be good at it.  At that point, it is prudent for us to recognize that we do not possess this skill.  It is responsible for us to not put you and each other in danger by trying to employ a skill we do not have.  No matter how good YOU are a driving in the snow, it won't do you any good if I crash into you.  You're welcome.

Yankees, if you want to go out and drive around on ice covered roads, more power to you as you drive around in low traffic.  Since you live in the south now, it would be super helpful if you would just let us enjoy ourselves without your condescension.  If you want to go somewhere, go ahead.  We'll be home enjoying what could be our only snow day all year.

PS - I have no explanation for the milk and bread thing, so you can keep that.