I get it. I really do. I was a science education major, which meant that I took pre-med biology, anatomy, and ecology as well as all their labs. I took chemistry 111 and 112 as well as physical chemistry and their labs. I took engineering level physics, quantum mechanics, classical thermodynamics and applied thermodynamics and their labs. I took Earth science and its lab. I took Calculus 1 and 2 in an experimental course where I was supposed to "discover" it for myself. I haven't even mentioned the education courses and general ed courses that were filling out the rest of my schedule. I remember feeling like the busiest girl in the world. If I had Twitter back then, it's entirely possible that I would have been tempted to post the same things you are. Here's the thing, though. I've come to learn that everyone I went to school with felt pretty much the same way. We were all tired, and we are all tired. Here's a little perspective.
Let's just start with the obvious. You think English majors have it easy. After all, everything they do is graded subjectively. Let's assume that's true for a minute, even though it isn't. As a person who likes to arrive at the end of a ten-page calculus problem with the answer of zero, you would be horrified if anything you did was graded subjectively. You would not think it was easy; you would be paralyzed by not having a black and white idea of what to do. Have you looked at the reading list English majors have? If you had to face that stack of books, I'm pretty sure you wouldn't think it was easy. Now, imagine you had to read those books so thoroughly and carefully that you could write papers with detailed analysis about them. You really think you wouldn't be tired at the end of that? You would curl up in a corner and calculate square roots.
While we are talking about writing, let's talk journalism majors. I know you have been told they have it easy because everything they write is on a fifth-grade reading level. Have you ever tried to write something specifically to a fifth-grade reading level? If that is not your normal writing level, trying to get it down to that is actually rather difficult. Also, everything they write or record as news is different as soon as they send it. Physics may change some over decades, but it isn't different now than it was when I began this blog post. Having to keep up with every piece of news in our "fast-paced, gotta have it now" society would be exhausting, and you know it.
I hear you saying, "At the very least, we should be able to make fun of art majors, right? They can't possibly be tired after just putting down splattered paint on a canvas. I could do that." If you could, you probably would have. Since you haven't, let's assume you can't. It's okay if abstract art isn't your thing, but let's not pretend that the man who created with the method shown here wasn't tired when he got done. Have you stood in front of this? The scale and controlled chaos are overwhelming. Also, if you'll stop tweeting for a second and go to an art museum, you might find out that about 90 percent of what's there isn't abstract. It's incredible representations of the things you should be learning to appreciate in your STEM degree. Every art teacher I've ever worked with knows a ton of science because stuff explodes in the kiln if they don't know the thermodynamics, and many kinds of paint don't work with other kinds of paint because of their chemistry. Artists are people who create something out of nothing. God rested after six days of creation, and you think art majors aren't tired? What about music majors? Can STEM people assume they aren't tired? I can't tell you how tired the ones I went to college with were because I never saw them. They were always in a practice room in the music building learning to turn air into music, so I'm going to assume they were exhausted.
You might be thinking, "At least let me have the elementary education majors. Their homework is ridiculous. They have to practice clear handwriting on the board, make hand puppets out of paper bags, and read children's books." I will say that I felt that way about them WHILE we were in college. Here's what you aren't taking into account. Your STEM degree will likely land you in an office. You'll be able to go to the restroom whenever you feel the need, have lunch away from your office with other adults, and go home at the end of the day without being concerned about whether one of your clients will have enough food that night. Elementary teachers may have had it easy DURING college, but they're going to be tired for the rest of their lives; so shut up for now.
I could go on about people who study political science or anthropology or history, but you are smart enough to get the idea. On behalf of those of us with STEM degrees, you are making us look bad. You're making it look like people who appreciate how the world works on a literal level look down on those who appreciate how it works on a symbolic level. Given the scientific fact that thinking on a symbolic level requires more energy from the brain, it burns more glucose, drops the blood sugar more, and makes the thinker tired. Everybody's tired, man. Everyone works hard to get their degree. Stop thinking you're the only one.
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