Life Moves Pretty Fast - But You Can Make Choices That Slow it Down

Even though we have the same twenty-four hours in each day that people have had since the earth started turning, we speak as though time is moving faster than it used to.  People say they don't have time for things (which is nonsense, you use the time for what you want to do).  People talk about the year going by quickly.  I know when November 1st arrived, I was thinking, "Hey, I just got used to it being September."

I have three theories about why modern time seems to move faster, even though it clearly doesn't.
1.  We are trying to get to so many places in every 24 hour period that we perceive time differently because we aren't stopping between activities.
2.  We are processing the constant stream of incoming data so often that we never reflect on it and incorporate into our being.  This all input all the time brain processing leads to the feeling of speed.
3.  Technological changes are happening at an unprecedented rate, and we feel the need to keep up.

Let me address each of these separately and give you some advice (you can decide if it is worth taking).


1.  You think you need to do everything, and you don't.  You think your kids need to do everything, and they don't.  I get it.  You don't want to miss out on an opportunity for an experience.  If you'll reflect for a moment, you may realize that by trying to take advantage of all the opportunities, you are actually missing out on all of the experiences.  You may be physically at a ballgame, but you are mentally planning your route to a movie or concert that night.  While you are the concert, you are mentally packing for the conference you are about to attend.  While you are the conference, you are thinking about the barbecue this weekend.  You have not experienced the ballgame, the concert, or the conference, and you probably aren't going to experience the barbecue either.  By trying to participate in everything, you experience nothing.  Consider the words of the great 80's philosopher Ferris Bueller, who said, "Life moves pretty fast.  If you don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it."

This fear is amplified all the more when you add the pressure of being a parent and wanting to make sure your kids experience everything.  Listen to someone who has spent the past two decades teaching teenagers.  You aren't giving them more opportunities; you are giving them more stress.  We all know this and do it anyway.  Stop it.  You are creating anxiety for them by being anxious yourself, which then only adds two more appointments to your week because now you both need therapy.   Pick one or two things, and then fully enjoy them.  You CAN make this choice.  You only think you can't.



2.  Put down the phone!  Put down the phone!  Put down the phone!  You can live without being in touch with the screen all the time.  I know this because I do not now, nor have I ever, owned a cell phone.  I'm not dead, so it can be done.  In fact, I would imagine my life is more peaceful as a result.  I'm only distracted by a screen when my laptop is open, and that is only happening in places where having it open makes sense.  I also close it when I am in meetings and feel that I am not listening.  This is possible.  The anxiety you feel by being disconnected from a screen will pass if you give it a few minutes.

I am not crazy enough to believe that everyone is going to make the choice I made, but you can make the choice to put it down for an hour.  I watch people scrolling through their phones at movies.  How much more stimulation does your brain need that you have to add to what Marvel or JJ Abrams or Disney is giving you?  I watch people scroll at church, and I'm pretty sure it is interfering with their worship because it is interfering with mine.  I watch people scroll in restaurants, parks, ball games, concerts, and during conversations with loved ones.  I don't know what treasure you think you are going to find at the end of the scroll, but to an unconnected observer, it looks like you believe you can reach the end of the internet if you scroll long enough.

The upshot of all this scrolling is that you are only putting information in.  You are never allowing your brain to deal with the information you got.  There are some neurological problems with this.  You weren't designed for the massive input, never process, never rest the brain, more input cycle.  This disruption of normal brain activity leads to anxiety and exhaustion that we wouldn't feel if we were taking the time to reflect.  Trump is going to do what he is going to do whether you see the live stream of his press conference or not.  Missing out a Kardashian making news is a gift you should give yourself.  It really will be okay if you don't find out the moment a member of the royal family announces their pregnancy.

Instead of putting more input in your brain, put the phone down for an hour.  Breaking addictions is hard work, so maybe you can only handle ten minutes for right now.  Whatever time causes you a little anxiety, start with that.  Use that time to ask yourself some questions about the last thing you read.  Do I agree with what he just did?  Why or why not?  How does the thing I just learned about fit with my worldview, my faith, or my past experiences?  How am I better or worse reading the blog post I just read?  If you just told someone on Facebook that you are praying for them, put the phone down and actually do it.  Allowing your brain this time will decrease the impression you have that time is racing past you.  If you combine number 1 and 2 by putting your phone down while you are at an event, you'll actually experience the event.

3.  It's okay NOT to have the latest model.  I know the rest of this post has revealed me to be a Luddite.  That's fine because I live the life I want to live without the need for more.  It's pretty nice, actually, and you can implement it on a much smaller scale than I do.

Technology used to change pretty slowly.  Consider this.  There was a 50-year gap between the invention of the food storage can and the invention of the can opener.  It seems crazy to me that it took that long to realize the need for a better method than stabbing the can with a knife.  There were 56 years between the invention of the airplane and landing on the moon.  When I point out how incredibly fast that is, my students don't see it.  They can't figure out what was so difficult about JFK's challenge to land on the moon because they had nine whole years.  This is because they now have new products coming out 10-30 times per year.  In January, I stood in the school parking lot taking photos of the Super Blue Blood Moon with a digital camera.  The last time this phenomenon even occurred, photography hadn't yet been invented.  In my 13 years as yearbook teacher, I've gone through four different camera models (and that's progressing at a pretty slow rate because I am me).

As a high school teacher of upper-middle-class kids (many of whom have parents in the tech industry), I have constant exposure to the newest and latest tech.  The first Apple watch I ever saw was on the wrist of a student.  Because I see new products often, I see the rate at which new products are arriving on the market.  It's practically every week that there is a new model of something.  Apple and Samsung upgrade each product about once a year (but they space them out for maximum hype), and no student wants to have the "old" model.  They drop a fortune on new tech.  It's not just phones; there's the need to have the premium package of everything, from the best shoes to the latest watch to the multiple streaming services.  I still have the rabbit ears I used in college sitting on a tv I've had for 13 years, and I have no shortage of things to watch.

I know there is nothing we can do about the pace of technology, but we do have the choice of what to adopt.  It is okay to make the choice to keep your old model of iPad.  You'll spend far less money and have fewer bugs to work out if you stay a couple of generations behind.  Have the perspective to realize how fast that three-year-old model of computer is compared to the one you had before it instead of comparing it to the one that came out yesterday.  Tell yourself what one of my wise students wrote, "Sometimes, when I am impatient with a text not going through fast enough, I tell myself, 'It has to go to space and back.  You can calm down.'"

Time is not moving faster, and you can make these choices.  You can be an adult who makes decisions or allow the world to push you around.   Technology should make your life easier.  Don't let it bully you.

The Beauty of Aiming High and Missing

In my physics class, we have a project called "The Free Choice Project."  I started doing this in both chemistry and physics twelve years ago in order to give students who felt constrained by rubrics a way to explore what they wanted to in as much or as little depth as they want.  I give them two months to work on it, so they know I am not looking for something basic (unless it is in chemistry, and the project on the pH scale).

Students are allowed to choose as much as possible.  They can decide to work alone or in a group of four or fewer.  They can decide what topic they want as long as it can be focused on the subject we are in.  It can be a broad survey of the entire topic (food preservation methods) or a deep examination of the one small aspect of the topic (how microwaves can be focused and fired at objects using a homemade Herff gun).  The only true requirements are that the presentation is at least 15 minutes (never a problem) and they have some type of demonstration with the project. The demonstrations should be live if possible, but a video is allowable if the topic is too dangerous (e.g. rifle recoil) or inappropriate to bring to school (e.g. an elephant pooping).  I give them weekly checkpoints in which they can keep me updated on their progress.  Given that the presentations take up two weeks of my class time, I care deeply about these projects.  The kids know that and almost always step up with great things.  I learn a lot from their presentations.

Sometimes, a group gets really ambitious.  A few years ago, I had a group make thermite (after their dads agreed to supervise all experiments).  I've had students make their own ice cream using liquid nitrogen.  One of my favorites was the chemistry of art, in which students explored painting restoration and the chemistry of the color change that happens to glaze in the kiln. 

After 12 years of assigning this project, there are some topics I know I will get, like the chemistry of fireworks and the physics of sports.  Every year, however, I get at least one topic I've never had before.  This year, there were two, and they were definitely ambitious.  One young man asked to make a rail gun, and one group asked if they could build a functioning BB8.  I believe in saying yes as often as I can so that my no will actually mean something.  I mean, I told the group that wanted to do the physics of pooping that they could as long as they were studious about it and no human beings were involved in the demonstration.  I only really say no to things that cannot be made safe with reasonable precautions.  These two sound amazing, even if they were more ambitious than all the other groups. 

BB8 - The group that tried to build BB8 worked a lot.  They kept our 3D printer running for quite some time.  They researched all of the components that make it work: momentum, motors, and magnetism.  They asked advice from science teachers, IT people, and the art teacher about what materials would hold up in the rolling section.  Eventually, they decided that they just could not find the right materials, and they backed away.  Their project was still on momentum, motors, and magnetism, but they demonstrated them differently.

Rail Gun - If you don't know what a rail gun is, click here.  It's not really a gun, except it kind of is.  It uses electromagnetic energy rather than explosives to launch projectiles.  The young man who made this apparatus spent over one hundred hours in research and building, purchased hundreds of dollars worth of supplies and equipment, reached out to unwilling electrical engineering professors, found assistance from a mechanical engineering student, and spent weeks troubleshooting.  He also communicated with me at all times about issues he was having and whether or not the demonstration was going to occur.  While he ultimately could not get it to launch, he videoed his trials and presented how it should work and also why it didn't. 

Here's the beautiful part.  Because of all the difficulties, he learned more physics than anyone in my class.  Troubleshooting forces you to analyze aspects of engineering and design that would never have come up if things worked the way they were supposed to from the start.  He will remember this experience and what he learned from it far longer than someone who likes basketball and learns how Newton's laws of motion apply to shooting.  There's nothing wrong with the level of learning they had, but they don't have the depth of learning that comes from the more ambitious project, even one that ultimately "failed."

Every time a student has ever tried a project that was this ambitious, they ask if I am okay with it.  Umm, of course, I am.  The line I use with them is, "I'd much rather you aim high and miss than aim low and hit the target."  School should be the time in which we challenge ourselves and let it be okay if we don't quite get there.  Students fear that the teacher will mark them low for failing to accomplish their goal, but they don't understand that, like a figure skater or gymnast or diver in the Olympics, you are going to start from a higher base score due to your level of difficulty.  Do big things.  You'll be glad you did.

It Seemed Like A Good Idea at the Time

I was walking down the hall when a student pulled out a piece of paper.  I wasn't trying to read over his shoulder, but I couldn't avoid seeing the paper.  I do not know what it said.  All I saw was that it was in the form of a letter and had about fifteen signatures at the bottom.  I said to him, "that looks petition-like to me."  He said that he guessed it kind of was.  I said, "Just so you know, petitions aren't usually accepted well by anyone, except maybe the government."  At that point, someone joined us, and I was never able to finish talking to him.  However, I have a similar conversation with a student about once a year. 

I used to teach in Oklahoma.  Because of that I still have a number of teacher friends there.  You may have seen on the news that their teachers' union has recommended a walkout, starting April 2.  I keep getting invited to the facebook page.  Since I don't believe in strikes and have refused to join the union in both states I taught public school in, they don't really want me to join this group. 

After the Parkland shooting a month ago, students in various districts have planned walkouts in an effort to get the attention of lawmakers concerning gun laws.  It is unlikely that this would change the vote of any lawmaker, but they make the news because students walking out of class to march in the streets is good TV.

The problem with all of these methods is that they put the recipient on the defensive.  In the conversations I have had with students about various petitions over the years, the conversation has always gone something like, "when they see how many of us agree, they have to give in."  Setting aside the language of "they have to" for the larger point, I try to get them to see why that doesn't work.  Put yourself in the position of the person receiving this letter.  No matter how respectfully it is written or presented, the moment someone opens a letter and sees multiple signatures, they feel ganged up on.  The brain perceives this as threatening and responds with the fight or flight instinct.  You have automatically turned off the rational and listening parts of their brain as it is flooded with adrenaline, undermining your ability to get what you want.  You accomplish the opposite of what you were trying to do. 

The same is true of the teacher and student walkouts and all strikes in general.  At the time, it seems like a good way to get the attention of the powers that be.  Again, I say imagine you are one of them.  When management sees you walk off your job to make a point, the danger part of their brain goes into high gear, imagining angry mobs with torches and pitchforks.  It doesn't "get their attention" in the way you hope.  The attention turns to self-protective measures, which involve digging in their heels, not meeting you even half-way.

I am not criticizing the students who make these petitions because I know that it seems like a good idea to them at the time.  I know that it is far less scary than sitting down with people above them and having a conversation one on one, and it doesn't seem disrespectful.  I am not criticizing those teachers who have been brought to this point.  I have read the posts of so many of them that feel this is the only action they have left.  I disagree with them, but I don't believe any of them are ill-intended.  That doesn't mean it is going to work.

Getting a lot of signatures seems good at the time because our signature is hidden among the others, so we feel secure in the number.  Walking out feels good in the moment.  The rush of dopamine we get makes us feel a power we do not actually possess, especially when there are others with us.  When we get tv coverage of our protest, it makes us feel like we have the world on our side until we go online and find that half of the people are not.  Those feelings of the moment are as temporary as the "love" people find on The Bachelor.  It feels real in the moment, but we must think beyond the moment.

Actual change requires people to make decisions using the rational parts of their brains.  That requires calm discourse, the ability to listen to facts and persuasive arguments, and the time to take substantive action.  Next time, something seems like a good idea, pause for a moment of empathy.  Imagine you were on the opposite side.  How would you receive the action you are about to take?  Chances are you would wish people would approach you individually, calmly, and rationally.  Try that first.

Pride vs. Acknowledgement of Gifts

Modern American Christians have a complicated relationship with the concept of pride.  

The Bible is clear.  It says nothing good about pride.  The book of Proverbs alone has seven verses about the danger of pride, and the remainder of the Bible has about sixty other warnings that include the word pride.  There are even more warnings that don't include the word, like Romans 12:3, which tells us, "For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned."  

American society drives the opposite message into us from the day we are born, actually even before we are born.  We are told by parents, grandparents, and society that we are perfect and beautiful.  We are told that we should always be proud of ourselves and that the worst thing we can feel is guilt or shame.  These t-shirts send an interesting message.

These shirts are made for little kids to wear.  Can we be surprised when these kids turn out to be demanding, entitled, self-centered, and stubborn?  There was even a shirt that I didn't put in this collection because it had a curse word on it (which is bad enough) that said the wearer taught Christian Grey everything he knows.  Seriously, what parent is putting a shirt on their toddler that says he taught skills to a sexual deviant?  

I'm sorry I digressed, but that shirt was astounding, and you can't be surprised by tangents when the name of the blog is On the Rabbit Trail.  The point of this was to examine the fact that we are steeped in a culture that tells us only to feel proud of ourselves all the time.  Meanwhile, we know our own hearts and the darkness within them.  If we talk about sin, we are encouraged not to be judgemental or shame anyone, including ourselves.  Am I the only one who finds this confusing?  

I'm 41 years old and have been in Bible preaching churches my entire life.  If I'm confused by conflicting messages about pride, it isn't surprising that my middle school students are too.  

A few years ago, I taught a young lady who had particular difficulty with the concept of pride.  She was highly intelligent and made excellent grades, but her parents made her feel stupid.  If she made anything less than a 98% on a test, she cried and screamed so loudly that she could be heard from several rooms away, yelling about stupid and worthless she was.  Imagine what it must have been like to believe that the range between perfection and worthless was only two percent.  One day she asked me if I thought I was smart.  I told her that, while I am by no means a genius, I do believe have above average intelligence.  I am able to absorb information and remember things I hear and read; I am pretty good at making connections between material.  I would never have been qualified for rocket science or brain surgery, but I do qualify as above average.  She was horrified.  She said, "Do you feel bad saying that?"  Before I could answer, she said, "I mean, isn't that pride?"  A question like that should make you examine yourself, so I gave it some thought before answering.  I don't think I have pride when it comes to my scholastic abilities, but I don't believe that I should pretend not to have the gifts that God gave me.  That would be like an artist refusing to sell paintings or a musician refusing to play in front of people.  

If God has given you something, it cannot be honoring to Him to pretend that he didn't.  I think it is important to acknowledge that it was, in fact, a gift.  That means having the humility to know that you did not earn it.  God gave you raw abilities as well as the privileges with which you developed those abilities.  Privilege is another word we have a tricky relationship with.  In fact, some of you probably reacted with reflexive defensiveness when you read it, thinking "I worked hard for everything I have."  That's partially true, but your work ethic was probably a result of the environment in which God placed you.  I worked very hard for my grades and my degree, but I know that this was at least partially because God gave me parents who valued hard work, even made me repeat a job that wasn't done well.  I was raised with a library card and access to the Wake County Public Library system.  I recently finished reading The Boy Who Harnessed the Wind, in which a boy makes a windmill to provide electricity to his home after being forced to drop out of school during a famine and using a book he checked out over and over again from his library, which had a total of three shelves of books.  In discussions with 9th-grade students about this book, we all agreed that he made us feel guilty for taking our private school educations for granted.  

Acknowledging that God placed you in the right place at the right time with the right people around you to help you develop the gifts he gave you will keep you "thinking of yourself more highly" than you ought.  It means that you can acknowledge your gifts without falling into pride.  Teaching students to do that in our culture is tricky, but modeling it shouldn't be.