Be The Adult

This week, my school had parent-teacher conferences.  Like everything else in teaching, there is a wide spectrum of experience, from "my daughter thinks you are just the best" to "my daughter thinks you are mean" and everything in between. 

There is one that has stuck with me this year.  As I spoke with the parents, I said, "I wish he realized we are on the same side."  They went home and spoke to him, resulting in my receiving an email apology.  I replied with forgiveness and told him the same thing.  "I hope you know that we are on the same side."  As I have thought about it, I'm pretty sure I've not been acting that way.  Tomorrow, I will apologize to him because we have both been acting like middle school students.  That's age appropriate for him, but it isn't for me.

As a middle and high school teacher, I spend most of my time around (surprise) middle and high school students. That can result in being a bit embarrassed around adults as I laugh at things middle schoolers would laugh at.  It can result in my knowing things I really wish I didn't know but have to - like some of the text abbreviations.  It sometimes results in becoming a little more snarky than is appropriate simply because I am surrounded by the masters of the art.  When that happens, it is important to recognize it and correct it.

I know you know this, but there is no such thing as a perfect teacher.  Even those teachers that I hold in such high esteem that it is just shy of idolatry are fallible human beings.  We are going to make mistakes, and we are going to sin.  What's important is to own up to those mistakes and sins, not sweep them under the rug and hope no one notices.  The students will notice them.  More importantly, they will notice how we respond to them.  We should admit our wrongs, apologize for them, and do whatever we can to make them right.

In an age where adults spout off their anger on social media, talk about their dependence on wine like it is normal and not a reason to attend a meeting, deal with their stress by coloring, and talk about "self-care" like it is a virtue, our kids don't see adult behavior modeled very often.  Teachers, we are there to teach more than math, history, and science.  We are also role-models, and we simply must act like it.

Be the adult in the room.  They need it.