"Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language."
He uses the chapter to expound on why people love their own name and how it makes us feel when people use it respectfully or disrespectfully.
In a recent movie rendition of The Crucible, Daniel Day-Lewis plays John Proctor, a character accused of conspiring with witches. He signs his name to a confession and immediately takes it back. He doesn't want it to hang on the church door. The minister asks why, if he doesn't plan to deny the confession. He cries out, "BECAUSE IT IS MY NAME! BECAUSE I CANNOT HAVE ANOTHER IN MY LIFE!" He is willing to hang before submitting his name to something he knows to be false.
Why is our name so important to us? It is the one thing we own, the one thing that is ours. For men like John Proctor, it is the one thing he will pass down to his children. We can lose all we own and replace it, but if our name becomes spoiled by disrespect or disdain, we can do little to get it back. When it is used respectfully and well, we feel known and valued.
This is why it is so important to use the names of students well. As a yearbook teacher, I have more opportunity to learn the names of students I don't teach than most. My staff and I tag every photo that is uploaded so that the Jostens software can track how many times they are placed in the yearbook. My staff is great at identifying high school students, but the elementary and middle school students are largely left to me. I spend a lot of time looking intently at individual features of kids in their portrait and comparing it to an activity photo. "Is that Jenna? No, here ears are different." As a result, by this time in the year, I know a lot of kids' names, whether I teach them or not. When I have door duty, I do my best to greet each student coming in by name. (When I'm not sure, I fall back on my southern-lady right to call them sweetheart or honey.) I want them to start their day by hearing what Dale Carnegie says is the "sweetest and most important sound." I want them to hear it used happily and in a welcoming way.
I once knew a man who was attempting to discipline a student. He kept saying, "We love you, Brandon. We want what's best for you, Brandon." Given that the boy's name was Landon, he lost all credibility, and the boy didn't absorb the point of the discipline. Learn a student's name, and use it well. When you get it wrong (we all accidentally call them by a sibling's name at some point), acknowledge it and apologize. Then, make a note to intentionally use it well the next time you see them.
One of the big buzz words of education right now is about "classroom climate." EduTwitter uses the word "relationships" more than it uses any other word. Using student names with respect costs nothing but time and it creates a respectful classroom climate as it is the first step in building relationships.
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