Modeling the Strength of Weakness

One year ago today, just as my 6th-period class was starting, the voice of my principal came over the intercom.  It wasn't her normal tone.  We could tell that she had been crying as she asked for all students and teachers to come upstairs to the chapel.  Since we had been praying for one of our students who had been in the hospital that week, we knew this had to be bad news.  I grabbed a box of tissues and carried it with me as we walked out the door.

I have never experienced 300 middle and high school students as quiet as they were while walking up to that room.  Very few spoke at all, and those that did whispered something like, "What else could it be?"  They filed into the chapel and sat on the floor (the only way we can put them all in the same room) in anticipation of the coming announcement.

Our head of school stepped onto the stage and said, "We just got a call and . . ."  His voice broke just before he finished the sentence.  I don't remember much of what he said after that.  We prayed.  We all cried together.  No one left the room for almost an hour.

Looking back, I realize that I have never loved our head of school more than I did in that moment (and I've loved him quite a bit since he got here, so that's saying something).  It was the break in his voice that did it.  He allowed students to see and hear his weakness in that moment.  He let them understand that he didn't have the magic words that would make them all feel better, and that was okay.

A couple of months later, while on an overnight field trip, we received another gut-punching piece of news.  I stood in wonder that evening as I witnessed our principal talk to the 8th-grade.  The most impressive thing she said was, "We will not come to a conclusion because there are things we do not know."  That set a tone that carried through the rest of that trip for students and chaperones alike.  In our jump to immediate conclusions, share it on social media, cancel culture, the lesson of waiting for information may be the most important 21st Century living lesson the members of that class could ever learn.  I have always loved and respected this woman, but in that moment, it was awe that I felt for her. 

In both of these situations, the strength of our leaders came from their willingness to show their vulnerability.  Thankfully, we don't have to experience a traumatic event to exercise that same willingness.  As teachers, we are presented with opportunities almost daily that allow us to model the strength of weakness.

- A student asks a question you don't know the answer to.  How do you react?
- You have a typo on your test, and a student points it out.  How do you react?
- You are in the middle of an example and realize you have made a mistake.  How do you react?
- You mispronounce a name.  How do you react?
- A student points out that your socks don't match or your shirt is on backward.  How do you react?

Every one of these situations will happen to you.  Your reaction, whatever it is, teaches students a lesson.

- If you admit you don't know the answer to a question and then look for the answer together, you teach humility, curiosity, and the joy of learning for your entire life.  If you bluff the answer, you teach that image is more important than truth.
- If you own the typo and correct it, you teach that no one is perfect and that redemption is available.  If you get defensive, you teach mistakes are something to embarrassed by.
- If you expose the mistake and fix it, you teach the value of transparency.  If you pretend it isn't there, you teach that hiding your faults is how to protect yourself.
- If you apologize for the mispronunciation and correct it, you teach them that you care about them.  If you blow it off, you teach that your ego is more important than your students.
- If you laugh at your socks or backward shirt, you teach them not to sweat the small stuff.  If you react with embarrassment, you teach them to think of small setbacks as more important than they are.

Take the daily opportunities to model the strength of weakness.  Your students will benefit from it.