Isolation and the Single Girl

Warning:  This post is going to very long.  While I have a lot to do, I don't have anywhere to go, so I am going to keep writing until I have said everything.

Disclaimer:  I have no training in psychology or neurology.  I am an educator and a brain enthusiast, so this is based entirely on my experience and reading, not on actual expertise.  Fact check as needed.

If you are reading this right now with other people in your house, you are having a different experience than those of us who live alone.  You may be irritated with your spouse or child because you have been cooped up with them for too long, but it is a different experience than going for multiple days without seeing another human in person.  Phrases like "apart but not separated" and "physically distant but socially connected" are well-meaning, but they were not written by people who live alone.  In Genesis, Adam was face to face with God on a daily basis, and God still created Eve because he had designed the brain for community with other humans.  Since this aspect of brain health is being deprived, I am using what I know about the brain to make sure it is being kept healthy in as many other ways as possible. 

Familiarity and Novelty
Your brain craves a balance of familiarity and novelty.  It's why we like to binge-watch favorite tv shows but also really look forward to new episodes.  While there is so much that cannot be done the way we normally do it, those things that can remain the same should.  I get up at the same time every morning, and it is only half an hour later than it was when we were in school.  The first day I was home, I wrote out a daily schedule and have alarms set to keep me on it.  (There are days it has required alterations for unexpected faculty meetings or weather, but you cannot alter something that doesn't exist.)  For the past ten years, I have opened class with a scripture passage and prayer, and I am still doing that.  We picked up where we had left off the Friday before.  I work a crossword puzzle every day.  THIS INCLUDES YOUR CLOTHES!  I keep seeing posts from people who have only worn pajama pants for the last six weeks.  That may be comfortable and convenient, but it is not good for your brain.  It is making you feel less like yourself.  I am very grateful that my school asked us to continue dressing professionally for our classes because I get up every day and choose my clothes the same way I normally would (except for shoes, I am wearing sneakers no one can see).  On Fridays, I still put on jeans and a GRACE shirt because it is GRACE Day.  These may seem like small things, but the familiarity keeps your brain healthy.

Your brain also requires the stimulation that comes with novelty, so do things that help your brain.  For me, that includes changing up my walking routes each day (more on outside and exercise later).  For you, it may be throwing a new song into your familiar playlist or, as my art teacher friend has done, learning a new skill.  You don't have to master it for the act of doing something new to stimulate your brain in a healthy way.

Do Not Attempt Multitasking
First, all of the research says multitasking isn't real anyway, but we still attempt it.  As a person who lives alone, you have the benefit of not being required to deal with kids.  There is no benefit in getting ahead of schedule for the day because it doesn't mean you "go home" early.  It can be difficult to concentrate on one thing right now, so don't fool yourself into thinking you can concentrate on more than one thing.

Allow Limited Escapism
Like all "isms," escapism is a bad way to structure your life.  In terms of general brain health, you don't want to make denial a way of life.  However, this is not deniable.  You are in it all day every day, so it is okay to allow yourself an hour or two of immersing yourself in a novel or a movie that takes you away from things for a while.

Establish Physical Boundaries
Again, this is a benefit of living alone.  You have the ability to dedicate a room in your house as the work area.  For me, this an upstairs office that I actually had not used in years before this all started.  My work materials and computer set up are left there so that I don't have to re-arrange things each day.  The healthy brain benefit of this is that I am "at work" when I am in that room.  I go up to at 7:30 each morning to get ready for the day, and I only come downstairs to use the restroom and eat lunch until 3:00 (or later if there are meetings) each afternoon.  Then, I "go home."  It makes a big difference.  I highly recommend it.

Don't Fake Fine
You are not fine.  Some days you are finer than others, but you are not fine all the time.  Pretending that you are isn't positive thinking or optimism or any of that other garbage.  It's denial, and it is bad for your brain.  Now, I'm not saying that you should do the irritating Facebook post, like "Just having a really tough time, y'all.  Prayers appreciated."  That's the same stupid grab for attention it has always been.  I'm saying if someone asks you how you are, be honest.   You have a friend you can cry with.  Reach out to that person and be real. 

Limit News Exposure
Twenty-four-hour news in multiple formats is not good for our brains.  When you see the same news story three times, your brain interprets that as three separate events, leading to an interpretation of things being worse than they are.  Limiting your exposure can be difficult because of people's obsession with posting news articles on social media, so you are exposed even when you don't mean to be, but you have the power to place some limitations on it.  Establish a time or two each day when you will expose yourself to the news.  Delete the CNN or FOX news app on your phone, and don't go intentionally to their websites unless it is during the time you have set for yourself.  You don't have to see the press conference live every day.  The two times that I have were times I wished I had not (they were the President answering a reporter's question about fear with "I'd tell them you are a terrible reporter!" and the bizarre musing about putting UV into the lungs and injecting disinfectant).  My personal boundary is 30 minutes in the morning and 30 minutes in the evening, and I don't feel any less informed than if I had listened to "analysis" all day.

Vitamin D
This is the most important thing I am going to tell you.  GO OUTSIDE!  Depending on the level of lockdown order your state is under, you may be limited to a backyard or balcony, but you have to go outside.  I am, fortunately, in a position where I can walk on city sidewalks every day, so on school days, I walk from 45 minutes to an hour, and I may walk as long as three hours on weekends.  We were all a little Vitamin D deficient when this started because we were just coming out of winter.  There is arguable no more important vitamin for your health.  It is related to energy level, mood, thyroid health, weight regulation, calcium absorption, heart health, blood sugar balance, and regulation of your immune system.  There are even Vitamin D receptors in your brain.  Your body is incredibly efficient at making Vitamin D from the cholesterol in your body under the right conditions.  If you go outside in "minimal clothing" (i.e. shorts and a tank top) for 30 minutes, your body will make all of the Vitamin D it needs for a day.  So go outside (and if you can't, order some supplements online).

Exercise
We all know exercise is healthy of your heart and bones, but you may not be aware that it is healthy for your brain as well.  It increases the flow of oxygen to your neurons and causes a release of neurotransmitters.  The well-known endorphins that you always hear about in relation to exercise are chemical cousins to those released when you hug someone.  It won't replace social contact, but it will mitigate the negative effects.

One part of your brain health is being necessarily compromised and will require recovery when this is over, but you can help yourself and put your recovery in a better position by intentionally engaging in other brain-healthy practices.  You aren't a passive blob in pajama pants that is just absorbing food from the environment.  You have the power to make healthy choices.