Breakdowns and Fixes

 Every week, I try to think of something to write about that isn't about current events.  I'm tired of writing about the virus and am attempting to avoid political meddling.  However, if we are going to address education right now, it's unavoidable that I frequently find myself writing about teaching during the pandemic.  This particular topic has shown up in my social media timelines about five times this week, so here I am.

The tweets look like this:
"None of us are admitting it, but teachers are breaking down."  
"I wonder how many teachers are close to breaking down or have broken down privately."
"Teachers are reaching their breaking point."
"Educators are going to break down this year.  It's inevitable."  

For the moment, I'll set aside how unprofessional I think it is to take these statements to Twitter in the name of solidarity and openness.  I'll address what seems to be the idea - that breakdowns are bad.  Breakdowns are a God-given mechanism for releasing pent up energy.  Done correctly, they are good and even important.  There also seems to be an implication that breakdowns are unrecoverable.  That's just silly.  When my car breaks down, I don't like it; but I go about doing what it takes to repair it.  I don't just abandon the car on the side of the road.  I'm not a medical professional, but I believe, after 22 years of teaching and a lot of reading about the brain, I have a little insight that could prove useful.  This isn't scripture, so you can disagree, but take these thoughts for whatever benefit you think they have.

Engage in Healthy Brain Behaviors

One of the primary reasons for these breakdowns is that we have brain fog.  We are doing more than we have done before, but our brains do not have the capacity they had a year ago.  The isolation of lockdowns screwed up our brain chemistry, and it is going to take time to rebuild, but you can help your brain if you give it as much of what it needs as possible.

People used the lockdowns to justify forming every bad habit they have ever wanted to have.  From poor diet to day drinking, people not only indulged themselves, but they also went online to joke about it and get affirmation from others.  No one was accountable - because pandemic, right?  

You can't change the past, but you can get back to engaging your brain in proper ways.  Eat foods that are good for your brain as well as your body.  Reduce your alcohol consumption or stop drinking altogether.  Hydrate.  Take a walk outside (Vitamin D is super important, especially with winter on its way).  Stop ranting in all caps on Twitter, and stop reading the rants of others.  These things only feel good for a moment.  They are bad for your brain in the long run.  You are an adult.  You can make decisions that are good for you rather than those that feel good.  Isn't that what you have been teaching your students for years?

Limit Your Commitments

Teachers are notorious for biting off more than we can chew.  In addition to teaching, a lot of educators volunteer at their churches or youth organizations.  They typically tutor.  There are just so many things they want to do.  This has always been taxing on the brain's energy, but this year, you have used your brain energy by the end of the instructional day.  Teaching online requires twice the energy to keep your kids engaged.  Teaching in a hybrid situation means keeping up with a lot of technology at once while maintaining normal classroom management.  I can't even imagine how those of you who go home at the end of the day to your own children do it.  Your brain simply does not have the energy for extracurricular things.

I just had to say to someone I almost never say no to (and to something I would really like to have done).  When I wrote her back, I told her that I was working at school every Saturday to get ready for the next week, so I feared I would be unavailable more often than I was available.  I didn't want to be constantly flaking out on her.  This isn't self-care.  It's just more responsible to allow the person to find someone now than it would be to have her constantly looking for someone to take my place when I couldn't engage.  If I had said yes, I would have felt guilty every time I had to back out, which would lead to far more breaking down.

Take Time for Tears and for Gratitude

Negativity and positivity are equally stupid approaches to life.  They both ignore half of life.  The human brain is capable of acknowledging both bad and good at the same time.  We can see that a glass is equally half empty and half full.  

If you need to cry, go ahead and cry.  Sit in your car or go to your bedroom.  Bury your face in a pillow and cry.  It's a good thing.  I read once that there have been chemicals identified in tears that are stress symptom inducing, so when you release tears, you are literally "crying it out."  It's also good for your blood pressure and heart rate to have a good cry.

After you have cried, take some time to think about your blessings.  It could be as small as the fact that you have a car to cry in.  Some people don't.  It could be a pet that looks at you with love.  I couldn't be more grateful for my school administration, but I see on Twitter that many of you are not.  Perhaps, you can be grateful for a supportive co-worker or family of a student.  When the Bible tells us to be thankful in all things, it didn't mean unless there was a pandemic that made teaching school difficult.  

Recover After a Breakdown

Let's all acknowledge something.  We've broken down before.  Breakdowns may have increased in frequency this year, but they are not new.  I fell apart in the teachers' lounge a few years ago because one senior had not yet turned in their yearbook photos, and I was pushing a deadline.  I sobbed in my hands for two minutes.  I got up, hugged a co-worker, sent an email to the student and taught my classes for the day.  Breakdowns are not permanent.  You've earned it, so go have it.  Then, pull yourself together and carry on with your day.

Think about what our kids are learning right now.  We have debated how to teach them grit and resiliency for years.  Here we are with the most unwelcome opportunity to do so.  One of the things I am most proud of from the spring (the last two springs, actually because early 2019 was a series of gut punches for GRACE) is how our teachers showed kids what coping looks like.  They saw us cry and pull ourselves back together and continue.  They saw us grieve, but they did not see us panic.  They saw us make mistakes, and they saw us fix them.  In some ways, I ended the school year in a broken state, but I also don't think we've ever been better teachers.

I'm not advocating having you breakdown in front of them if you can do it privately.  I am advocating for showing them adult life skills.  To paraphrase Winston Churchill, "Have your breakdown, and carry on."