A Random Collection of Life Lessons

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you know that I do not care about New Year's resolutions or New Year's at all.  But, I am always ready to reflect.  A few months ago, I listened to an audio recording of Amy Pohler's memoir, and there was a section in which she just threw out statements of things she has learned in her years on this earth. There is no explanation or context, just a list of thyougts.  I thought that seemed like something I would enjoy doing, so you will find my list below.  While it is not an exhaustive list, these are the things that came to mind when I started typing.  They are in no particular order.  Feel free to add your own lessons in the comments.

• You can enjoy things you aren't particularly good at, so enroll in that wine and design class or take up knitting.  You don't have to perform to enjoy.
• Overtip servers.  It won't make that much difference to you, but it may make a huge difference to them.  This is especially true if you are a difficult customer.  They've put up with you.
• You don't know what you missed because you thought you were too cool to join the chess club (or fill in the blank with a group you think you aren't fit for). 
• Keep your promises.  People need to know you mean what you say.
• Don't let "self-care" be the reason you don't follow through on a commitment.  Let it keep you from making the commitment in the first place.
• "I'm sorry, I can't do it" can be an answer.  You don't have to justify it with a reason you think they'll accept.
• Nothing is ever less expensive than when you have a student ID.  Use it to try new things like the symphony or the ballet.  If you don't like it, you haven't lost much.  But it may turn out that you find a new source of joy in your life.
• Don't let the fear of something being hard keep you from doing it.  You can do harder things than you realize.
• If you have the option to do something in person or digitally, do it in person.  It's a different experience.
• I lived for 47 and a half years quite peacefully without a cell phone.  I'm not saying you should do that, but it is okay to leave it behind every now and then.  Leave it in the kitchen at night. (Alarm clocks are cheap.  Buy one.)  Even thought I have a cell phone now, it is not with me all the time.  
• Don't just walk over a piece of trash in the hall.  Pick it up and throw it in the nearest trash can.
• You don't know more than the experts in their field.  Listen to them when they speak within their field.
• Expertise is domain-specific.  Don't put a lot of credence when an expert in one field speaks about a different field.  Just because someone is smart about rockets doesn't mean they know about viruses, but an expert in viruses probably doesn't know anything about classroom management.  Einstein likely didn't say the thing about the definition of insanity; but even if he did, he didn't know anything about psychology, so it is not the definition of insanity.
• Don't use bigger words than needed for the situation.  You aren't impressing people.
• Have a morning routine.  It could be making the bed or listening to a song.  It could be doing a crossword puzzle or reading the Bible.  But have something that starts your day.
• Pray in the car - just don't close your eyes to do it.
• Read a lot. Even if you don't like books, read blog posts or articles.  
• For most things, the generic version is fine.  Equate headache relief works just as well as Excedrin.
• For a very few things, it is worth being brand loyal.
• Keep learning new things.  There is so much to learn, so listen to podcasts or read random articles on Wikipedia.
• Eat your lunch outside sometimes.  Fresh air and sunshine are nice.
• Life is a good balance between expressing your feelings and pulling it together.  Know when and where each is appropriate.
• Don't tell people to smile.  If they felt like smiling, they would already be smiling.  It's condescending when you tell them how to feel (or worse, tell them they are "so much prettier" when they smile.  Uggh!)
• If you ask someone, "How are you," stop and listen.  It shouldn't just be an extension of "Hi," so if you don't have time to listen, don't ask.  You can just say "Good morning."
• Surround yourself with smart people (at least a few of whom you disagree with).
• While I am at it, find someone who will disagree with you well.  By that I mean, neither of you will think the other one is stupid or immoral when the conversation is over.  Both of you will have gotten more perspective and perhaps deepened your own thoughts.
• Use the restroom before you leave (I think I got this one from Larry David). You don't know what traffic will be like.
• Sometimes, you can't avoid debt.  But pay it off as quickly as you can.  Always overpay on your mortgage payment, even if it is just rounding up to the nearest 10 dollars.
• Write goals on a list.  It feels great to cross them off.
• If you have the opportunity to be kind to a child, take it.  It doesn't have to be big.  Smile at them.  Tell them you like their shoes.  Listen to them count to 100.  Laugh at their terrible joke.
• Never resist a generous impulse.  Yes, you will get ripped off occasionally, but more often than not, you'll feel good about generosity.
• Small gestures matter.  Jostens once sent me a coffee mug, and I walked around with it for months because it made me so happy.  
• The hardest thing to live with is regret.  Don't do things you know will make you feel guilty later.  Do good things, so you don't have to regret not doing them later.
• At least once in your life, find a place with no light pollution and see what the stars really look like.  I didn't know how life-changing this would be.
• Everyone is tired.  It's not a competition.
• During severe weather, keep your shoes on.  (My Oklahoma friends would also say to keep your teeth in and your bra on.  If the newspeople come after a tornado, you don't want to be on the news without them.)
• When you find yourself in a no-win situation, choose whichever option is the kindest.
• Don't feed the crazy in other people.  If you feed it, it will grow.
• If you can't make what you love a career, that's okay.  Work a 9-5 job and do what you love at night and on weekends.
• Don't judge something the first time you try it.  Everything is difficult when it is new.  Give it at least three chances.
• If you answer the phone, and the person doesn't start speaking right away, hang up.  It's a telemarketing call.
• When you call a business to complain, remember that it is not the fault of the person who answers the phone. 
• If you can afford it, go see a live performance this year.  It's a more powerful experience than streaming a movie.
• If something isn't your business, don't waste brain cells dwelling on it.
• Love your co-workers, and you will love coming to work.
• Make sure the people who are important to you know that they are. 
• When someone compliments you, accept it.  Don't be self-deprecating just to seem humble.  They told you for a reason, so be encouraged by it.
• Mail handwritten notes.  They have more soul than an email, and it doesn't take as long as you think to write them.
• In spite of what I just said, send an email to someone this week to thank them for who they are to you.  It will make their day when they are in the middle of business emails.
• If someone compliments your friend, pass it on to them; they need to know.  If someone criticizes your friend, keep it to yourself; they do not need to know.  
• You can't make God love you any more or less, so stop trying.  Love Him, and act out of that love, not out of some weird belief that you can earn something from the Creator of the universe!