It Takes Too Much Work to Be Out

For the last couple of weeks, I've been fighting a cold.  Nothing major, just a little sore throat and coughing.  On the second morning, a friend of mine asked me why I had come to school.   I answered that I would have to feel a lot worse to do all the work it takes to be out.

There may be other jobs like this, but if there are, I don't know them.  In other jobs that I have had in offices, if I were sick, I would have called in sick.  The day of my return, I would have had a lot of catching up to do, but the work just sat there while I was gone.  When my parents and I go on a vacation together, my dad checks in with ongoing projects at the office, but he doesn't have to prepare before he leaves so that someone else can do that work while he is gone.

Teaching is weird in this way.  I would actually have to do more work to prepare to be out than I would to just keep working.
Step one: Obtain a substitute.  We have a computer system that will call subs, but I would have to get into the program and think really hard to complete the instructions.  If I am sick, this thought process is actually kind of a pain.
Step two:  Figure out what the kids can do instead of what you were going to do with them.  With the exception of test days or video days, if they are going to do the same thing with a sub that they were going to do with me, then I didn't need to go to college for a science education degree.  (And, if they are going to take a test or watch a video, I can come in sick and do that.)  Therefore, I need something that isn't just busy work and does allow them to get some of what they would have gotten from me, but can be done without me.  Have I mentioned that I am sick in this scenario?  That's a lot of thinking for a sick person.
Step three:  Write up what you have decided in step 2 in a form that can be understood by someone who has no idea where anything is in your classroom.  Everything you unconsciously do and locate is completely unknown to the sub.  The sub plans have to have far more detail then your lesson plans ever would.  If there is something special or tricky about a particular student or class, you need to let the sub know that too, so that knowledge you just have as a regular part of your day has to be raised into your consciousness and put on paper tactfully for someone else to read.  Keep in mind, I'm sick while this is happening.
Step four:  Get this information to the school.  Some things can be e-mailed.  You can ask a friend to print out your plan and get it to the sub.  Some things cannot.  If the students are doing an activity that requires a resource, you may have to go in and physically set it up so that it is all in one place and clearly labeled.  That means putting on clothes because you can't really show up in pajamas even if it is just to set up an activity.  The last thing I want to do when I am sick is put on clothes.  It's right up there with driving a car, which I guess I would have to do too.

I haven't even mentioned that when I return to school, I would have to read through the sub's feedback, follow up with discipline if needed, record attendance from when I was out, and grade what the kids did.  If all I have is a minor cold that could use a day of rest, I'll wait for the weekend and rest then.  It is way too much work to be out.

My Weirdness - Part 5 - DIY

This is the last of the posts on my weirdness and was kind of the one that prompted the series.  Here's the story.

I teach chemistry, and we were discussing why hydrogen sulfide smells like death.  I love teaching them about floor drains and how pouring water into the trap blocks the gases so that they won't smell that awful smell (talk about some real world science).  Then, I told them about the time I was replacing the toilet at my house and thought I was going to die before I got it bolted down and filled with water because my head was down there next to the open pipe.  Each of my classes responded with, "Wait, you were doing this yourself?"  "Yes," I responded, "replacing a toilet isn't hard, so why would I pay someone to do what I can do myself?"  I've had this conversation with a dozen classes, so their surprise isn't new to me.  I always follow up with, "I don't pay anyone to do something I can do myself."

What happened next, however, was new.  One of my students really thought I shouldn't have done that, so I explained that if there is something I cannot do (complicated electrical work, masonry) or is too dangerous for me to take on (gas delivery to the water heater), I will hire someone.  I simply won't hire someone to do something that I CAN do myself.  He said, "So, you don't have people clean?"  This is when I understood that this boy and I live on two different planets.  I said to him, "You know that's not normal, right?  Most people don't have that."  He got embarrassed and asked to use the restroom.  It wasn't my intent to embarrass him, but I have never had anyone assume that I should have cleaning people.

I grew up in a house where my dad could fix almost anything and believed in making us help.  I have watched him repair washing machines and dryers, furnaces and garbage disposals.  I was shoved into cabinets to pull wires from one end of the kitchen to another.  I was taught how to mud sheetrock properly and how to install a ceiling fan.  I carried landscaping timbers and 2x4's from the truck to the back of the house more times than I can count.  The few times we did hire professionals, it was for really obvious reasons.  We hired roofers because you don't just get hurt if you fall off the house and because doing it wrong results in very expensive repairs.  We hired people to put on siding because we weren't going to buy the equipment required for doing that right.

A few summers ago, I had a leaky bathtub faucet.  I called my dad, and he suggested a few things.  I went to youtube and found out that Home Depot has a channel there.  I was able to repair the leak and replace my fixtures for about twenty dollars.  If I had to bring in a professional for that small job, the price would have been four to five times that much.  The first time I needed to replace a water heater, my parents and I pulled out the old one, put in the new one and reconnected it.  I can't do everything, but I can use basic tools and learn from instructions.  I'm too scared to repair things on my car, but I'm not afraid of most things in my house.  I do have a healthy respect for electricity, so I would never tackle that alone.  When I had to replace the capacitor in my air conditioning, I called my mom over to stand near me.  She asked me what I thought she would be able to do, and I told her I would like 911 to be called as soon as possible if I did electrocute myself into unconsciousness.

You are more capable than you think, and instructions are now just a few clicks away.  Hire people when you actually need to, but you will be very happy with yourself and save a lot of money by learning to do some things yourself.

My Weirdness - Part 4 - Happily Single

In my late twenties and early thirties, this scenario played out countless times.

Friend or parent of student:  "Beth, how old are you?"
Me:  "Thirty.  Why, who do you do want to set me up with?"
Friend or parent of student:  "How did you know?  He's a great guy; you'll love him.  If only he didn't have (insert deal-breaking flaw here)."

People mean well.  I know they do.

I'm sure they do.

I think they do.

Maybe they don't.

Maybe they are just living under the illusion that a person must be married to be happy.  Forget about whether two people are in the same place in life or share the same values or want to date someone or would even be compatible.   "We know single people of different genders," they say, "and we cannot stand for that."  This ranged from public school students wanting to set me up with their currently imprisoned older brother to a teacher friend who wanted me to date her alcoholic neighbor.  "He's great," she said.  "I just wish he were a Christian."  Really?  You thought the person's lack of faith was an afterthought, hardly worth mentioning until the end of this conversation?  Shut up, please.

Okay, this rant is over.  Here's the deal. Back then, I actually was looking.  I really did think God's plan for my life was to be a wife and mother.  As often happens, however, God led in another direction (at one time in my life I thought God's plan was for me to be an astronaut, but I was wrong about that as well).  I was about 31 when I finally felt that God was impressing upon me that I was to remain single.  This was more freeing than you might think, and the peace that came from it let me believe that it really was God and not me just giving up.  I have been happily single ever since.

I'm not going to say I am never lonely, although I will tell you that it is seldom when I am alone.  I'm not going to tell you I don't have normal human desires.  I certainly do, and just like any other person attempting to live a Godly life, I must lay those desires before the Lord.  I'm not going to say that there is never a time when I think it might be nice to come home to someone at the end of the day.  Certainly, when I am particularly tired or sad or angry or even happy, it would be lovely to have someone to share that with.  (And, yeah, Valentine's Day is just a day when you want to go to bed on the 13th and wake up on the 15th because you can't even go to the grocery store without an assault of cultural stupidity.) None of that, however, is the hard part of being single.

The hard part of being single is that no one* thinks you can be happy being single.  No one believes that the only thing I regularly have a hard time doing for myself is fastening a bracelet.  No one believes that virginity isn't really that difficult.  No one believes a person can live alone without being crippled by fear.

People, God equips you for the plan he has for your life.  I have been in training to be single since the day I was born.  When I was growing up, my dad's job took him out of town frequently.  That meant that we were home without an adult male most of the time.  My mom never acted like she thought that was dangerous.  I was never taught to equate being alone with being in danger.  My dad also always involved the entire family in repair projects, so I never learned that I needed someone else to solve problems.  I was a dork in middle and high school (and some would say ever since then as well), so I never dated.  I never learned to depend on a relationship for emotional fulfillment.    I watched girls date guys they hated because they thought it was better than not dating.  I never learned to believe that I was incomplete without a man.

This post is supposed to be about teaching, so here's how it applies.  One of the great things about being an adult dork is that students like it.  They tend to think I am cool for precisely the reason that I am authentically a dork.  Because of that, I have the opportunity to influence students on a daily basis.   Some of that influence is intentional and overt, but some of it comes from just living my life in front of them.  When they see that I am not sitting in a corner pining away for a man to "complete me" (stupidest line in romantic movie history, by the way), I have influence.  I hope that I teach girls that they don't need to date trash just to be dating.  I hope that I teach boys that they are not the saviors of their girlfriends.  I hope that I teach kids that marriage means too much to treat it lightly.  I hope, most of all, that I teach students that following God's plan (rather than following cultural expectations) is the only way to live.

*When I say no one, I really mean very few people, but it doesn't sound as good in the sentence.

I Just Can't Do This to My Vote

My blog is usually about education.  Be warned:  This one is not.  This post is political and inflammatory (and long).  Keep reading if you wish, but you have been warned.

On the morning of my 18th birthday, I was sitting at the library door when it opened.  I wanted the first thing I did that day to be registering to vote.  I had been following elections with great interest since I was twelve, and I couldn't wait to have this privilege of free people.  I registered as a Republican because that was the party that best represented my values and my understanding of American history.  I have voted in almost every election, large and small, ever since.  The few I have sat out were local elections in which I did not feel I had done enough research to make a responsible choice.   My vote was too important to me to just go in and guess or put it next to anyone with an R by their name.

Eight years ago, I took my precious, shiny vote and dulled it just a bit.  I didn't want John McCain to be the Republican nominee, and I didn't particularly want him to be President.  He was too liberal for my taste.  However, I did respect his resumé as a long term United States Senator and his ability to work with others.  I had great respect for his war service and the endurance displayed during his years as a POW.  While he would not have been my first choice, I felt good enough about him and bad enough about then Senator Obama to cast my vote.  I left the booth that day feeling a bit sad that I had voted against someone rather than for someone, but my conscience was clear.

Four years ago, my treasured vote took another hit.  Again, I would not have chosen Mitt Romney as the nominee for my party.  A Republican that gets elected in Massachusetts cannot be that conservative.  I also didn't want to vote for a Mormon.  However, after four years of President Obama, I felt that it was important to try to stop his reelection.  I did not feel very good about myself as I left the voting booth that day.  My vote was not just a little dulled; it was rather dented.

In the four years since, I have felt my vote more personally than ever before.  I have come to strongly feel my vote as an approval of policies and of people.  I have also come to believe that I will be judged by God, not only for what I do, but for what I approve of.  It is for that reason that I cannot walk into a voting both with my vote and put it down for either of the two major party candidates this November.  While I am impressed with her resumé, I have never approved of Mrs. Clinton's policies.  She believes the right to an abortion is God given, while I believe it is murder.  There isn't really a middle ground to be found there.  She believes that a large and involved government is the solution to social issues while I believe government should be as limited as it can possibly be.  I cannot approve of most of what she has approved of over the past couple of decades.

If you are thinking that since I am not a Clinton supporter that I must be a Trump supporter, you are thinking incorrectly.  I have never been more horrified by a Republican candidate (or possibly that of any party) than I am by Donald Trump.  I am embarrassed that my party has nominated him.  I can't elaborate on all of my reasons as there are dozens; and I can't imagine that you would want to read all of them, but I'll elaborate on a few.

He says that the Bible is his "favorite book," but he then turns around and reveals his complete lack of knowledge of its contents.  When asked if he has ever asked God for forgiveness, Trump replied, "I'm not sure I have ever asked God's forgiveness. I don't bring God into that picture."  It may be time to open your favorite book and read about the need every person has for God's forgiveness.  Reporters have tried to give him a chance to clarify his statements on forgiveness, and he just doubled down on his ignorance, saying, "I will be asking for forgiveness, but hopefully I won’t have to be asking for much forgiveness."  He believes he has lived a life that doesn't require forgiveness, which according to his favorite book means "the truth is not in him."  Beyond his gaffes involving misquotes and mispronunciations of scripture, he has minimized the sacrament of the Lord's supper, saying, "When I go to church and when I drink my little wine and have my little cracker, I guess that is a form of forgiveness. I do that as often as I can because I feel cleansed. I say let's go on and let's make it right."  People in the audience laughed at this image.  The fact that he thinks this is a funny statement underscores his lack of understanding of the Christian faith.


Donald Trump has left two wives for younger women.  He was married to Ivana for fifteen years when he had an affair with twenty three year old Marla Maples.  He divorced Ivana and quickly married Marla, who he remained married to for only six years.  In the time between his marriage to Marla and his marriage to Melania, he played around a lot.  He even called his risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease his "personal Vietnam."  While conducting an interview in support of then President Bill Clinton, Trump was asked whether he would run for public office, he said, “Can you imagine how controversial I’d be? You think about him with the women. How about me with the women?”  This is a man that clearly places no value on his marriage vows.  What makes us think he will care any more about his oath of office?


Note:  The above paragraphs were written several weeks ago, before the release of the footage him discussing his sexual assaults on women.  Let's be clear; that's what we are talking about.  This isn't "boys will be boys locker room talk."  At the age of 59 with two daughters, he laughingly admitted to walking in on unclothed women at the Miss Universe pageant just because he could and to grabbing, groping, and kissing women whether they wanted him to or not.  Saying that he can get away with this because he's a star tells you what he thinks of himself and the women he objectifies.  The number of my Facebook friends who are posting that this is okay because of Bill Clinton is horrifying.  "What I did wasn't wrong because he did it too" isn't reasoning I would accept from my 8th graders, and I'm betting you wouldn't accept it from your kids, either.  Offended isn't the right word for how I feel because I'm not angry; I'm sickened.  I feel gross when I think about how he must look at women, as a collection of genitalia that exists for his enjoyment.  

There are people who immediately jump to say we have to vote for Donald Trump because of the Supreme Court.  Believe me when I tell you I would understand that argument with just about any other Republican candidate.  I do not believe, however, that Donald Trump could name one of the people on his list of potential nominees.  I don't think he knows their names, much less their beliefs or qualifications.  I believe that someone on his staff gave him the list and told him that he could get the pro-lifers with it.  It kills me to think that could actually work.  Do you really believe someone who has changed parties five times since 1987 has strong pro-life beliefs?  Do you really believe there will be even one less abortion under his administration than anyone else's?  


As I finish this post, I am watching the second presidential debate.  I also watched the first one and the first 20 minutes of the vice presidential debate (I fell asleep in my chair because it was a school day).  None of these have improved my view of Donald Trump.  The debates have done little more than show how childish he is, confronting the moderator like middle schooler.  They haven't improved my opinion of Hillary Clinton enough to get past our social and economic policy differences.  If anything, they are just disappointing spectacles.

If you have actually gotten this far, you may actually care what I am going to do.  The assumption that I must vote for one of them seems built into the conversation, but I just can't.  My vote means too much to me.  My students have told me to write in Spongebob, and I have told them they aren't getting it.  If my vote means too much to me to lay it down for either of these candidates, I'm not going in and making a joke with it either.  Interviews with Gary Johnson have convinced me that he is not an option.  Neither is Jill Stein.  So, I started searching.  I have read more candidates' web pages in the last few months than in the entire rest of my life.  I have indeed found someone I can approve of.  I know he won't win because there aren't enough people who know his name.  I don't even know if he will be on the ballot in NC.  I believe, however, after reading every page of his website, that he is the only candidate my conscience will allow me to vote for; so I will write him in if he isn't on the ballot.  His name is Mike Smith.  If you are a social and economic conservative and just don't know what to do, I encourage you to check out his site.  

I know there are some who will say this is a vote for Hillary.  I reject the premise that not voting for one is a vote for the other.  That's like saying if I eat a hamburger, it means I ate pizza because it wasn't a salad.  It just doesn't make sense.  

My Weirdness - Part 3 - No Interest in Girly-ness

In my house, there are two bottles of nail polish.  One of them is clear.  I'm not against fun colors of nail polish; I just don't care to spend the time.  The only hair appliance in my bathroom is a blow dryer.  I use it for about two minutes.  The last time I wore make up, it  was a different century.  I own one pink thing, and I wear it about one time per year (to Hoops for Hope).

I just don't care about the girly things that other girls seem to find so important.  I never have.  When I was a kid, my parents made me wait until I was 13 to wear makeup.  My mom took me to a Mary Kay rep, we invested in some good make up.  A couple of months later, I decided it felt slimy, and I didn't like it.  I decided to embrace my nerd and became "anti-cool."  If there was a cool store (at the time, that was The Limited), I wouldn't shop there.  Now, it is more a matter of time.  I can get out of bed and be out of the house in 20 minutes.  I just don't like investing time in things that don't last.  I'd rather be at school 30 minutes earlier than to spend 30 minutes straightening my hair.

I do not believe that everyone needs to live this way, but I like that my kids see that being a girl doesn't HAVE to mean being girly.  Then, they can decide for themselves whether or not they care about doing those things or if they have just been doing them because they think they have to.

My Weirdness - Part 2 - No Cell Phone

Imagine there was a person in your life who insisted you take them with you everywhere you go.  "You won't be safe.  You won't be happy.  You'll be wishing you had me because you will always wonder what funny thing I would have been saying to you if you did.  Your friends won't think you're cool if you don't take me with you."  If that was a person in your life, you would find them controlling and manipulative and would not want them around.  I imagine, "You're not the boss of me" would be said at some point in your relationship.  That person would be a bully.

You let a piece of glass and metal, however, do this to you every day of your life.  It's called your smart phone.  This piece of technology that was designed as a convenience doesn't make your life easier.  It bullies you.
- Every day, it says, "You must take me with you, or you won't be safe."  When students find out that I don't own a cell phone, it is the first thing they bring up.  They say, "What if you have an emergency?"  I remind them that emergencies existed before the invention of the cell phone.  They launch into a stream of what if's questions in an effort to impress upon me how much danger I am in.  I'm not going to say that phones haven't helped people out of dangerous situations, but I have also never walked into traffic while chasing a Pokeball, and I've never had the issue of texting while driving; so I think it's a wash.
- Every day, it says, "You must take me with you, or you won't be happy.  You'll be wishing you had me because you will aways wonder what you are missing out on without me."  I do sometimes watch my students joyfully show each other a funny video, but more often than not, I watch them ignore each other because they are each so engrossed in their phone that they aren't present where they physically are.  When they don't have them, they have so much fear or what they are missing that they are riddled with anxiety.  These are signs of addiction, and we would recommend they seek treatment for that if it were anything but a phone.
- Every day, it says, "Your friends won't think you're cool if you don't take me with you."  This isn't just true of students but adults as well.  It's another way of showing your status to the world, and it is just as obnoxious to show off with the phone you have as it is to show off with the car you drive or the watch you wear.  They are all tools to achieve an end.  Having them in rose gold doesn't actually make them better tools.


As technology advances, we must make choices about our lives.  Accepting everything that comes our way for no other reason than because it is new makes us mindless drones.  Have a philosophy of life, and see if new technologies fit into your philosophy.  Note:  I'm not saying you should see if it fits in with my philosophy but that it should fit with yours if you are going to adopt it.  I have decided that there is too much noise in my world.  By that, I don't just mean sound.  As a teacher, I am bombarded with a constant stream of input from students, parents, other teachers, friends, grade analysis, research, and the internet.  Without a cell phone, I don't carry the noise with me twenty-four hours a day.  I decided some time ago that there needs to be some time in my life between thought and action; there needs to be some time between asking a question and the ability to get an answer.  If I don't have that in my life, my patience will plummet.  I use my computer to look for a lot of information; but because I have to wait until I get back to my computer, it allows for that little bit of lag time I personally need.  Smartphones do not give us time to think and process and reflect wisely before we fire off a tweet or look up an answer.  Therefore, they do not fit within the philosophy I have for myself.  My philosophy of any tool is that it should be used properly and for the convenience of the user.  If the phone rings at my house, I do not answer it if the timing is inconvenient because the ring is a signal, not a command.  People ask me all the time how I live without a cell phone, and my answer is always the same, "A lot more peacefully than you live with yours."

If any technology is determining your philosophy instead of the other way around, it is controlling you.  Take a step back and reflect on whether that is what you want in your life.