I Just Can't Do This to My Vote

My blog is usually about education.  Be warned:  This one is not.  This post is political and inflammatory (and long).  Keep reading if you wish, but you have been warned.

On the morning of my 18th birthday, I was sitting at the library door when it opened.  I wanted the first thing I did that day to be registering to vote.  I had been following elections with great interest since I was twelve, and I couldn't wait to have this privilege of free people.  I registered as a Republican because that was the party that best represented my values and my understanding of American history.  I have voted in almost every election, large and small, ever since.  The few I have sat out were local elections in which I did not feel I had done enough research to make a responsible choice.   My vote was too important to me to just go in and guess or put it next to anyone with an R by their name.

Eight years ago, I took my precious, shiny vote and dulled it just a bit.  I didn't want John McCain to be the Republican nominee, and I didn't particularly want him to be President.  He was too liberal for my taste.  However, I did respect his resumé as a long term United States Senator and his ability to work with others.  I had great respect for his war service and the endurance displayed during his years as a POW.  While he would not have been my first choice, I felt good enough about him and bad enough about then Senator Obama to cast my vote.  I left the booth that day feeling a bit sad that I had voted against someone rather than for someone, but my conscience was clear.

Four years ago, my treasured vote took another hit.  Again, I would not have chosen Mitt Romney as the nominee for my party.  A Republican that gets elected in Massachusetts cannot be that conservative.  I also didn't want to vote for a Mormon.  However, after four years of President Obama, I felt that it was important to try to stop his reelection.  I did not feel very good about myself as I left the voting booth that day.  My vote was not just a little dulled; it was rather dented.

In the four years since, I have felt my vote more personally than ever before.  I have come to strongly feel my vote as an approval of policies and of people.  I have also come to believe that I will be judged by God, not only for what I do, but for what I approve of.  It is for that reason that I cannot walk into a voting both with my vote and put it down for either of the two major party candidates this November.  While I am impressed with her resumé, I have never approved of Mrs. Clinton's policies.  She believes the right to an abortion is God given, while I believe it is murder.  There isn't really a middle ground to be found there.  She believes that a large and involved government is the solution to social issues while I believe government should be as limited as it can possibly be.  I cannot approve of most of what she has approved of over the past couple of decades.

If you are thinking that since I am not a Clinton supporter that I must be a Trump supporter, you are thinking incorrectly.  I have never been more horrified by a Republican candidate (or possibly that of any party) than I am by Donald Trump.  I am embarrassed that my party has nominated him.  I can't elaborate on all of my reasons as there are dozens; and I can't imagine that you would want to read all of them, but I'll elaborate on a few.

He says that the Bible is his "favorite book," but he then turns around and reveals his complete lack of knowledge of its contents.  When asked if he has ever asked God for forgiveness, Trump replied, "I'm not sure I have ever asked God's forgiveness. I don't bring God into that picture."  It may be time to open your favorite book and read about the need every person has for God's forgiveness.  Reporters have tried to give him a chance to clarify his statements on forgiveness, and he just doubled down on his ignorance, saying, "I will be asking for forgiveness, but hopefully I won’t have to be asking for much forgiveness."  He believes he has lived a life that doesn't require forgiveness, which according to his favorite book means "the truth is not in him."  Beyond his gaffes involving misquotes and mispronunciations of scripture, he has minimized the sacrament of the Lord's supper, saying, "When I go to church and when I drink my little wine and have my little cracker, I guess that is a form of forgiveness. I do that as often as I can because I feel cleansed. I say let's go on and let's make it right."  People in the audience laughed at this image.  The fact that he thinks this is a funny statement underscores his lack of understanding of the Christian faith.


Donald Trump has left two wives for younger women.  He was married to Ivana for fifteen years when he had an affair with twenty three year old Marla Maples.  He divorced Ivana and quickly married Marla, who he remained married to for only six years.  In the time between his marriage to Marla and his marriage to Melania, he played around a lot.  He even called his risk of contracting a sexually transmitted disease his "personal Vietnam."  While conducting an interview in support of then President Bill Clinton, Trump was asked whether he would run for public office, he said, “Can you imagine how controversial I’d be? You think about him with the women. How about me with the women?”  This is a man that clearly places no value on his marriage vows.  What makes us think he will care any more about his oath of office?


Note:  The above paragraphs were written several weeks ago, before the release of the footage him discussing his sexual assaults on women.  Let's be clear; that's what we are talking about.  This isn't "boys will be boys locker room talk."  At the age of 59 with two daughters, he laughingly admitted to walking in on unclothed women at the Miss Universe pageant just because he could and to grabbing, groping, and kissing women whether they wanted him to or not.  Saying that he can get away with this because he's a star tells you what he thinks of himself and the women he objectifies.  The number of my Facebook friends who are posting that this is okay because of Bill Clinton is horrifying.  "What I did wasn't wrong because he did it too" isn't reasoning I would accept from my 8th graders, and I'm betting you wouldn't accept it from your kids, either.  Offended isn't the right word for how I feel because I'm not angry; I'm sickened.  I feel gross when I think about how he must look at women, as a collection of genitalia that exists for his enjoyment.  

There are people who immediately jump to say we have to vote for Donald Trump because of the Supreme Court.  Believe me when I tell you I would understand that argument with just about any other Republican candidate.  I do not believe, however, that Donald Trump could name one of the people on his list of potential nominees.  I don't think he knows their names, much less their beliefs or qualifications.  I believe that someone on his staff gave him the list and told him that he could get the pro-lifers with it.  It kills me to think that could actually work.  Do you really believe someone who has changed parties five times since 1987 has strong pro-life beliefs?  Do you really believe there will be even one less abortion under his administration than anyone else's?  


As I finish this post, I am watching the second presidential debate.  I also watched the first one and the first 20 minutes of the vice presidential debate (I fell asleep in my chair because it was a school day).  None of these have improved my view of Donald Trump.  The debates have done little more than show how childish he is, confronting the moderator like middle schooler.  They haven't improved my opinion of Hillary Clinton enough to get past our social and economic policy differences.  If anything, they are just disappointing spectacles.

If you have actually gotten this far, you may actually care what I am going to do.  The assumption that I must vote for one of them seems built into the conversation, but I just can't.  My vote means too much to me.  My students have told me to write in Spongebob, and I have told them they aren't getting it.  If my vote means too much to me to lay it down for either of these candidates, I'm not going in and making a joke with it either.  Interviews with Gary Johnson have convinced me that he is not an option.  Neither is Jill Stein.  So, I started searching.  I have read more candidates' web pages in the last few months than in the entire rest of my life.  I have indeed found someone I can approve of.  I know he won't win because there aren't enough people who know his name.  I don't even know if he will be on the ballot in NC.  I believe, however, after reading every page of his website, that he is the only candidate my conscience will allow me to vote for; so I will write him in if he isn't on the ballot.  His name is Mike Smith.  If you are a social and economic conservative and just don't know what to do, I encourage you to check out his site.  

I know there are some who will say this is a vote for Hillary.  I reject the premise that not voting for one is a vote for the other.  That's like saying if I eat a hamburger, it means I ate pizza because it wasn't a salad.  It just doesn't make sense.