More Complex Than a Tweet

I have refrained, until now, from commenting in any way on the #metoo fad, largely because it is just that, an internet fad.  Like any other internet fad, the desire to participate in a fad clouds the real purpose and dilutes any effect it could have.  People who didn't care before it became a fad are unlikely to care about it later.  Case and point: I know a lot of people who poured buckets of ice water over their head, and not one of them can tell you the current state of ALS research.  This issue requires a depth of thought, endurance, compassion, legal action, and honest reflection.  These are not qualities we find in a fad.

Sexual harassment is a thorny and complex issue that cannot be addressed in a tweet, and it deserves more than a two-word hashtag.  In my attempt to process it, I have had many thoughts.  What you see below is my attempt to deal with those thoughts.  Many of them are incomplete, some may be contradictory as I attempt to sort them out in my own mind, and they are listed in no particular order.

1.  This is clearly a widespread problem.  When you look at the diversity of people who have been accused and their accusers, the case cannot be made that this is a one-sided, agenda-driven issue.  Roy Moore and John Conyers fall into this bucket with Harvey Weinstein and Al Franken (and let's not forget, this list started with Bill Cosby a few years ago and now includes Charlie Rose).  Some people are excusing everyone on their side of the political spectrum while vilifying those on the other side.  This is the worst kind of moral relativism.  It's wrong no matter who is doing it.

2.  Everyone has a right to due process. The reflex to invoke innocent until proven guilty is tricky.  It is an important legal concept when we are talking about convicting someone of a crime, but it is being applied in a non-legal context.  The accused has a right to due process, but so does the accuser.  Those who are touting "innocent until proven guilty" on Twitter don't have a problem assuming the victims are guilty until proven innocent.  If you are going to be intellectually honest, you can't default to believing the accused or the accuser.  Credibility needs to be assessed.

3.  All accusations are not created equal.  I am not a fan of Al Franken (well, okay, I liked him on SNL), but it is concerning when his actions are put in the same category with child molestation.  They are not the same.  They are both wrong, but they would be treated quite differently in a court of law.  Part of the problem with the hashtag is that it made all stories equal.  Some women have suffered greatly while others have felt uncomfortable that someone they didn't like flirted with them.  In the hashtag world, these women have the same story and get the same number of hearts and comments.  The hashtag may show how widespread the problem is, but it only shows how wide. If women told the actual stories, we would see how deep this problem is for some. 

4.  All forms of sexual harassment are wrong - physical, visual, and verbal.  One of the reasons I am finally blogging about this was a conversation that happened at Thanksgiving.  A man at the table said he couldn't believe there was a man who was being accused of only gestures.  "I mean this is just too far," he said.  "He didn't even touch anyone."  I just sort of stared at him because I couldn't figure out how to respond.  Would he really be okay with it if his wife went to work, and a co-worker made lewd gestures at her?  I don't think so; I think he would want that man killed.  This applies to words as well.  I punish students for making "69" jokes, and I wouldn't want a co-worker making them either.  If we don't draw a line until there is physical contact, you are looking to create a very hostile work environment (and not just for women).

5.  Sexual harassment training is a stupid solution.  No one who is doing this would stop if they sat through a seminar.  They aren't ignorant; they are immoral.

6.  It's not all men.  It's not all women.  Not all men are guilty of harassment.  Some men are clumsy flirters; some are socially awkward.  Many men are professional and supportive of their female colleagues.  Most are just trying to live their lives.  It's not all men.  It's also not all women.  One of the problems I have had from the beginning of this discussion is the implication (and at times outright statement) that ALL women have experienced harassment.  It's simply not true.  There is no hashtag for #notme, and there won't be one, but maybe there should be.  Maybe some women should start sharing their stories of supportive men in their lives and show what right treatment looks like.  Too many women have experienced horrific treatment, but lumping all stories together is wrong.  Advancing the belief that all women have been victims of all men creates a predator v. prey environment.  I don't think anyone wants that. 

I don't know that I have put all of my thoughts into words very well, but I do think we can see that they won't fit into 280 characters.  If you are going to reflect well, yours won't either.