The Ministry of Normal

If your student has an emotional problem, relationship problem, or drug problem, I am probably not the teacher they talk to about it.  There's usually another teacher for that, the teacher who has students in their room during lunch or for hours after school.  It's not that I can't or won't listen.  I am open to discussing these issues with any student.  I am not, however, the teacher that they come to.  Instead, I have the ministry of normal.

When I have had difficulties, I often found solace in going to work, grading papers, and planning lessons.  Days off were often the hardest times because that was when I had too much time to think.  Doing normal things was the most comfortable (and, therefore, comforting) activity.  When you are having a difficult time in your personal life, one of the best things for you can be to have some part of your life where you don't think about that problem.  It reminds you that the issue does not encompass your entire life.

In my nineteen years of teaching, I have taught through gun threats, September 11, the death of former students, the heartbreak of unrequited love, the diagnoses of colleagues, and many other traumas for both students and myself.  During these times, I have, of course, acknowledged the problem and told my students that I am available to them for whatever they needed; but then I taught them the same lesson I would have on any other day.  I assigned homework (although I probably accepted it late from those who needed time to deal).  When I had a student who was crying so hard she couldn't breathe, I asked her to tell me about her pet snake.  Years after a shooter threat (during my second year teaching), several former students told me that they felt safest while they were in my class that day.  Many of their other teachers had cried through the day or talked to them about it the whole time.  I had gone in and said, "There is a plan.  I will tell you what it is if we need it." and then kept my eye on the windows and doors while I taught.  My students told me that they felt confident that I had a plan and that I was keeping an eye out but were glad they didn't have to be the ones to think about it.  (This is a little comical when I think about the fact that I was 23, and my 16-year-old students were putting their confidence in me.)

Helping a student through a moment of need doesn't always have to look like a counseling session.  Sometimes, it can just look like a regular day.