Reflections on the Year

Anyone who knows me or reads this blog knows that I think most people's reaction to New Year's is stupid.  I do not believe January 1 is different from any other day just because we change the number on the year.  I do not believe that New Year's Eve has magical powers to change things.  The dropping of a ball made of crystal in Time Square doesn't make tomorrow different from today, and nothing changes if we don't make it change.  I do, however, believe very strongly in self-reflection, and while I do that frequently, this seems like as good a time as any to reflect on what I have learned from the past twelve months.

Never Say "Can't" - A year ago, we did not know school buildings would be closed in March.  If someone had suggested it, I would have said, "That's crazy.  Schools can't be shut down.  They're schools."  Well, it turns out they can be.  For nine weeks, I stood behind a table, talking to my laptop from a little-used room in my house.  When summer was drawing to a close and school districts were deciding how to reopen, I saw a lot of hand-clap-emoji-filled tweets with the word "can't" in them.  They asserted that it wasn't possible to teach kids in a classroom and at home simultaneously.  It turns out that, while it is not ideal in any way, we can.  I would imagine this didn't just apply to teaching.  I bet most news organizations, late-night talk show hosts, and athletic organizations would have said they couldn't do things the way we are regularly doing them right now.  I'll be enormously grateful when we don't have to do things in these strange ways, but it is interesting to know that we can.

Brain Health is Delicate - I have been interested in the brain's role in learning for my entire career, but I can't say I've ever thought about how important it is to keep it healthy.  That's because before now, my normal life was, in fact, without my even knowing it, perfect for its health.  I had had a daily schedule, lots of interaction with people, decent nutrition, and mentally challenging tasks.  When my interactions with people became virtual and I went without physical touch for almost three months, the neurotransmitter balance in my brain was thrown completely out of whack.  While I did everything I could to maintain its health in other ways (see this post), I could definitely feel the effects of that imbalance.  The return to school has helped, but I still notice that my brain is not at its optimum level of function.  

Schedules Equal Productivity - I have long been a planner.  I lived my life by "to do" lists and deadlines and goals.  What I didn't realize was that, without those things, I would do nothing.  Because the spring was so difficult, I thought I would give myself some time in the summer to sleep in and do whatever came my way that day.  It led to my doing absolutely nothing.  I mean it, knot-on-a-log levels of nothing.  After two days of that, I realized that if I kept it up, I was going to get to the end of the summer fat and shameful, so I made a summer schedule.  Making the bed, eating at set times of day, and knowing what you want to accomplish is the only way to getting anything meaningful done.

Unconscious Bias is Real - As a science teacher, I teach my students about the influence of bias on science.  I do not teach them that scientists have no bias;  I teach them that we all have bias and that is the job of a scientist to design experiments that mitigate their impact.  The most dangerous scientists are those who believe themselves to be unbiased because being blind to them means they won't take steps to reduce their effects.  By definition, unconscious bias is something you are unaware is part of you.  It's likely deeply ingrained from childhood experiences and, therefore, difficult for you to see in yourself.  If you want to become aware of it, you have to do something really scary.  You have to ask others.  Don't just ask around to everyone, but find someone you trust to tell you the truth rather than just agree with you.  Ask them specific questions about what they see in you.  You can't address it if you don't know about it, so dig deep as the Psalmist did when he asked God "Search me, O God, and know my heart. Try me and know my thoughts!  And see if there be any grievous way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting!" (Psalm 139-23-24 ESV)

Know How to Disagree Well - When I was in middle and high school, there was nothing I enjoyed more than a good theological debate with my friend, Rebecca.  We had opposite views on most theological issues, but we knew each other's hearts and minds so well that we could debate for an hour without either of us thinking the other was stupid or immoral for holding to those opinions.  We respected that the other friend loved Jesus as much as we did and was at least as smart as we were (although Rebecca was objectively smarter than I was).  I love a lot of people that I disagree with, but I've never lost respect for more people than I have this year.  What's different from those debates I had with Rebecca?  Because of our mutual respect for each other, we truly listened to each other.  That's not what has happened this year.  People that I love have shown that they do not want to hear what anyone else thinks.  From willing ignorance of science to outright worship of political figures to unwillingness to address injustice, I have been disillusioned by those whose hearts I did not know before.  To disagree well, you must have trust and you must listen.  That's not what is happening right now.

I Have Excessive Love for My Co-Workers - This one I knew already.  However, it fits here because of how incredible they have been this year.  In the previous paragraph, I talked about how people showed their hearts in a negative way.  My GRACE friends are the opposite.  I have seen their hearts to be bigger than I already knew they were.  Our leaders have worked themselves to exhaustion.  People took on projects that weren't part of their job.  Without the ability to touch others, they have found ways to reach out.  I cannot imagine enduring the past few years (our 2019 was no picnic) with anyone else.  

Thanking People is Good For You - One of the ways I kept connection in the spring was by writing to people.  I spent my office hours writing notes to students until I had sent a card to all of them.  I enjoyed it, and I like supporting the postal service, so when I had gotten through my roster, I wrote to former students and alumni and many of my co-workers.  In July, I wrote to all of the students I would teach this year.  When the school year started, I was out of people to write to; but I enjoyed it too much to stop.  I decided to write to people whose work brings me joy.  From Stephen Colbert to my favorite podcast hosts to actors in my favorite movies, I have written to dozens of people for no other reason than to say thank you.  I have heard back from only a few of them, but that's not why I did it.  I want to thank people for putting their gifts into the world in a way that brings me joy, and what has been good for me is that it makes me think of everyday things for which to be grateful.  Gratitude is good for your soul in a way positivity just is not.

While I don't believe there is any power in the idea of a new year, I do believe you should take time to reflect.  Perhaps for you, this is a good week to do that.  What have you learned this year?