As she continued, she talked about the mission trip he was about to go on and how much work was involved with that as he was one of the group leaders. When she mentioned the name of a teacher, it was one who taught AP classes; so I asked, "How many AP classes is he taking?" The answer was four!
This high school junior was taking four advanced placement classes, leading a mission team, and serving as captain of the varsity soccer team. No wonder he was tired at the end of the day. He had made too many good choices.
Time is like money. Once if you have spent it on one thing, you no longer have it to spend on something else. Unlike money, you can't borrow time and pay it back later. And you can't earn more; we all have the same amount.
So, the choices you make about how to spend your time matter.
All choices matter. And all choices, even good ones, have a mix of positive and negative consequences.
The thing is, we tend to want the choice without the consequence. We want to say yes to ALL of the things we'd like to do without regard to those consequences.
If we have a hard time with this as adults with some experience in time budgeting, imagine how little our students understand it.
That's where adults have to offer guidance ahead of the choices and allow them to experience the consequences of that choice.
This mom had given some guidance ahead of the decision, but she decided that, since all of the roles were good things, she would let him make the choice to do all of them. This is hard when guiding students because it isn't a choice between right and wrong; it's a choice to limit multiple rights. He was encouraged to be the captain of the soccer team by a coach who didn't know that he was also leading a mission team DURING soccer season. When he said he wanted to take four AP classes, teachers and counselors said, "Maybe take three or even two. Which ones do you feel the most passionately about?" His parents said, "They all sound good. Do them all if you want to."
The problem was that she then wanted the teachers of those classes to adapt to his lack of time. "Don't they understand that he needs to sleep?"she said. I bit my tongue and continued to take the pictures I was there to take, but I wanted to ask her what she thought the homework load of four AP classes plus two honors classes would be. I wanted to say that he could have been on the soccer team and the mission team without being in leadership.
This is the time of year when students are making a lot of choices for next year. They are choosing class schedules, but they may not be thinking about the other things that will arise. As we have conversations with them at lunch and after school, it is a good time for us to remind them that time must be budgeted.
Those of us who have a relationship with students have both an opportunity and an obligation to guide their thinking. Don't just say, "Yes, you would be great at AP History and Bio and Calculus, so you should take them all." Instead say, "I know you also like to do theater. Are you going to have time for three hours of work after rehearsal? If not, maybe, you should take regular history instead of AP." You can remind them just how many basketball games there are in a season and advise that the spring mission trip for their church will involve a lot of planning during the same time frame. Maybe they could go on the trip without being a team leader. Life involves making choices among multiple good things, and it is a good time to practice that with support.
You can't decide for them, but you can help them think through the consequences of their choices and ask them if they are prepared to live with those consequences.
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