Don't Ask Kids About Presents

As a teacher, when we return to school after Christmas break, we have to be extra positive.  The students have been out for two weeks.  Depending on where you live, it is likely so cold that the air makes your face hurt; but you must venture out early in the morning to go to school.  You know the kids are likely to be a little negative, so you look for the most positive thing you can to talk about.

Often, you end up asking kids something like, "What's your favorite thing you got for Christmas?"  I'm going to respectfully ask that no matter where you teach, you find something else to ask.  

Why You Should NOT Ask About Their Break

I learned this lesson quickly while teaching in public school.  Most of my students loved any kind of break from school, but for a few, coming to school was their break.  I had students who were abused, students in poverty, students who didn't know where their next meal was coming from.  School was a refuge from a terrible home life with an alcoholic parent or an incarcerated brother.  In the days before a break, they were nervous rather than excited, but they didn't want to tell other students that; so they put on that tense smile that means, "Please, change the subject."  Returning from breaks was a relief for them, for the most part, but when people started talking about trips or favorite presents or meals, it was just a reminder of what they didn't have.

Perhaps you work in a private school and think that you don't have kids who live in poverty.  First of all, don't be so sure.  There are people who want their kids in private school so much that they cut back on everything else to make it happen.  But, even if your kids have money, it doesn't mean their home life is out of Currier and Ives.  For some, wealth has been accumulated at the expense of time with family, and things are used as a substitute for attention.  Talking about Christmas presents may seem safe with them because they have so much stuff, but that discussion often just reminds them that their relationships are about stuff.  

What SHOULD You Talk About

So, what do you do when you want to be positive and engage students as they return from break?  Think about what YOUR relationship with your students is about.  Unless you have a very strange relationship with kids, it isn't about their home life.  Your relationship is not and should not ever be about their stuff.  Your relationship with your students is about education.  Talk about how excited you are to be back at school with them and the plans you have for the semester.  Tell them what your favorite chapter is during the coming semester.  If you are really confident, have them write down questions for which they have always wanted an answer (You might want to give them specific instructions about limits on these questions, trust me).  Do an activity with them that foreshadows the things they will be learning.  Make it about the learning.