That One Kid

Normally, I write about something I have learned and feel there is some wisdom to share.  This one is a little different.  I'm writing it for me.  If you get something out of it too, that's great.  This is about dealing with that one kid, the one who pushes your buttons, the one who looks you right in the eye while defying what you said and then says, "I didn't hear you," the one who finds your last nerve and dances on it.  

If you aren't a teacher, you might think that it's horrible to even admit that this happens.  People assume that teachers are able to robotically turn off their feelings.  The thing is, however, that we are human beings, just like everyone else.  And, just like everyone else, we are going to connect with some people more than others.  We have to treat our kids equally, but that doesn't mean we feel equally because, as I feel I should say again, we are human beings, not curriculum delivering robots.  This is important because, early in your career, feeling this way can make you feel like a bad teacher.  You might not want to admit it, and that is going to keep you from getting what you need.  You also have to be careful who you talk to about it.  Some will make you feel worse and give you really unhelpful advice like, "You just shouldn't feel that way."  Some will over-validate you, which will not help you address this.  I have two pieces of advice (and if you aren't a Christian, only one will be helpful).

First, for teachers who believe in the Bible, you know that human beings are made in the image of God - all of them - even that one kid.  It is helpful to pray that God will allow you to see that student through this filter.  Reminding yourself that he is an image-bearer may not make him less irritating, but it should change the way you respond to him.  And changing the way you respond often changes the student's behavior.  Whether it helps or not, it is right to view other humans properly, so you should remind yourself of this.

Second, it is good to remember that a person's weaknesses are often just the flip side of their strengths.  The qualities that drive you crazy about that student may be what will make them great when they have matured.  What presents as stubbornness now may just be a less formed version of the perseverance he may one day need in his job or his marriage or his ministry later in life.  The attention he would rather give to a video game may be training his brain to notice details, which may be something he needs to accomplish the purpose God has for him (You should still have him stop playing in your class; I'm just giving you a less irritating perspective for his obsession).  I would imagine that the Joshua and Caleb of the old testament were probably difficult children.  They probably debated things with their parents and teachers.  They were probably quite stubborn.  I don't think they suddenly became strong, brave men who stood by their convictions when they had to resist the cowardice of the ten other spies.  What made them difficult children is exactly the way in which God planned to use them.  

Viewing students as image-bearers with personality traits that will inform their futures may not keep them from annoying you at the worst possible time, but it should help you to respond to them from a place of purpose and character development rather than from your emotional state.