The Season That Nearly Wasn't

I recently tweeted that if I knew how to get a movie made, I would make one about this season of our Varsity Girls Basketball team.  Sadly, I do not know how to get a movie made.  I do, however, have a blog; so I suppose it is the best I can do to bring attention to this incredible story.

When tryouts started, there were simply not enough girls.  It isn't because we don't have enough female athletes.  We have tons of soccer and volleyball players who are committed to year-round teams, and we have a number of ladies on our swim team, whose season is concurrent with basketball.  As preparations for the season were to begin, there were only five players.  Apparently, that is not enough, so our coaches sent this e-mail to our senior English teacher.

This teacher, well known for her ability to convince students, made an impassioned speech to the senior girls.  In the words of one senior, "Her speech had no commas.  She's an English teacher, so she should really use commas."  Eight senior girls went home that night to tell their parents they wanted to be on the basketball team.  In the end, five of those girls were able to follow through to the team, one as stat bookkeeper, some taking the time to Google "rules of basketball."  Each of these girls was very athletic in other sports, but none had ever been on a basketball team.  Two of the players on this team were 8th graders, playing up to the varsity level.  The coaches of this team choose a word every year for the players to rally around; this year, they chose FIGHT.

Under the mentorship of our incredible coaches, Tonya and David Taylor, and their alumni assistant, Lizz Wilson, these eight girls went on to fight for each and every game.  They grew as individuals and as a team, and their season record was 16-7.  They played in the conference championship, were invited to States, and won the first round there.  The team that nearly wasn't blew away all expectations (or lack thereof).

To a woman, they have each also talked about how much fun they had this season.  Senior Reece Goodman said, "If I'd know it was this much fun, I'd have done it years ago."  When asked what advice they would give to rising seniors, several of them said, "Try something you've never done before."  What a great lesson this is for them to take into their adult lives.  The 8th graders were inspired to fight harder than they would have if they hadn't been watching the hustle in these first-year players.  Apparently, the players weren't the only ones having fun.  Coach David Taylor, known school wide for his funny and often sarcastic tweeting, has put up more sincere love for this team than ever.  He has been effusive about the fun he has had coaching them and how much they inspire him.  Here's a sample from my quick stalk of his feed.  There are many more and many that express his pride in great detail.

As a spectator, I'm proud whenever we play hard, regardless of the outcome.  This team and its coaches, however, will hold a special place in my heart forever.  The courage it took for the coaches to reach out and beg for help showed vulnerability at its finest.  The courage it took for those seniors who had never played before to put themselves in a place of potential humiliation showed the best of school spirit.  The fact that teams they have beaten don't know the story of the team that beat them makes me happy in ways I don't know how to express.

As a teacher, I try to make as many memories as possible.  When you look back on your school life, the days can blur together because so many of them are so similar.  Anything I can do to give a student a positive memory on which to look back, I'll do.  This may be my favorite thing about the story of this team.  As adults, they will be able to look back and remember this amazing season and the lessons they taught each other.  They will be able to tell their own children to do something new and share their experience.  They will remember these coaches and the impact they had forever.  These are days that will NOT blur into each other for them or for me.

Story Corp Reflections

I listen to a lot of podcasts.  I subscribe to quite a few - see this post on recommendations.  One of my favorites is Story Corp.  For those who don't know, Story Corp has been around for over a decade, with this mission: "StoryCorps’ mission is to preserve and share humanity’s stories in order to build connections between people and create a more just and compassionate world."  Last year, they began an initiative to have students record interviews using their app to interview parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, neighbors, etc. during the Thanksgiving holiday.  They reached out to schools with the goal of having "an entire generation of stories recorded and preserved in one weekend."  

I missed it last year because listening to a lot of podcasts means rarely being current with any of them.  This year, however, I was ready.  I partnered with our 8th-grade history and English teachers, and we created a cross-curricular assignment.  Our students have a weekly blog, so we began by having them choose a person over the age of 50 that they wanted to interview and explain why on their blogs.  Then, the history teacher helped them write questions based on the age and experience of their chosen person.  I required only one question:  "What is the most important invention?"  Some students altered it a bit, to "What is the most important invention in your lifetime?" while others let it mean for all time, and I think some let the interviewee interpret the question for themselves.  

I had already had my students blog on what they thought the most important invention was.  As you might expect, I got a lot of answers involving phones and the internet, but I also got an interesting variety of other suggestions.  A diabetic student believed that synthetic insulin was most important, and a lot of students said that they really valued air conditioning.  We gave them from November until January to record their interviews because we knew that some of them may only see these people at holidays.  When they turned them in, each teacher had a different follow-up to the assignment.  Mine was another blog post.  What did your interviewee say was the most important invention and why.  Many of the interviewed said the printing press, something none of the students had thought of for their posts.  Quite a few talked about the wheel. That is my personal choice as well because none of the subsequent inventions get to you without it.  Some said the car, a valid choice to be sure.  I was surprised by how many said space travel.  If you would like to read any of their stories, their blog links are here.

These have been enjoyable reads for me, but it was really the act of interviewing that was the important part of this assignment.  If the teachers never listened to or followed up with the interviews (which, of course, we do), it would still be a valuable assignment.  Asking people of another generation questions about their perspective can only broaden our own.  Taking out the earbuds long enough to find out what your grandmother did while your grandfather was in the army or how your uncle started his own business or what your neighbor contributed to the world before becoming your neighbor has value beyond any academic standard.  This is the value of StoryCorp, and I look forward to assigning this again next year.

Hoops For Hope 2017

I have previously posted about our annual school event, Hoops for Hope.  It began in February of 2009.  Since that time, it has become a favorite tradition of our school.  It even has its own page in our yearbook.

Kay Yow was the long time coach of the NC State women's basketball team.  Even before her cancer diagnosis, she was much loved for her strength and perseverance.  After multiple battles with cancer, she became an icon and an inspiration.  It is for this reason that GRACE began our Hoops for Hope night in support of the Kay Yow Cancer Fund.  This year, we reached fifty thousand dollars in donations since starting the event.

This event is about fundraising, but it is also about the loving community that GRACE is.  Some years, girl students and female teachers have donated their hair to Children With Hair Loss.  Some years, male teachers have allowed students to shave their heads in exchange for raising a specific amount of money.  This year, our two upper school PE teachers allowed us to tape them to a wall on wheels and spin them around center court at half-time.  People bake cakes and make artwork to be sold in a silent auction.  High school art students donate their time for face painting.  We honor cancer survivors with flowers, candles, and prayer.  Of course, there is also a basketball game going on during all of this, and our fans rock the house.  It has been great, however, that over the years, our opponent has also gotten into the spirit of Hoops for Hope.  We choose a local team, and their fans can be part of the donating and the community spirit.  The night is streamed online for those who are unable to attend.  It is our mission statement in action.

Goal Matching

January and February are scary and exciting months for high school seniors.  Most of them will receive either their acceptance or rejection letter from the colleges they have applied to in the next few weeks.  (If you are over forty, you are probably thinking it is too early for that, but what we used to call "early acceptance" is now when the majority of students get accepted.  Yeah, we're old.)  There's a lot of celebrating for those who are accepted, with congratulations on Twitter and pictures of acceptance letters on Instagram.  For those who are rejected by their top choices, there are conversations about what to do next.  For some, their top choice is their only choice; so not getting in feels like the end of the world.

I teach at a school where nearly everyone goes to college, so there are a lot of conversations with both seniors and juniors as they contemplate their options.  I have recently found myself having the same conversation multiple times.  It goes something like this:

Student:  I'm not sure I can get into UNC (or some other highly competitive, very expensive school).
Me:  Is there another school that offers what you want to study?
Student: Yeah, but I don't think I can get a job if I go there.
Me:  Have you checked into what those school's placement percentages are?  It's hard to believe that everyone who majors in (student's field of study) there can't get a job.
Student:  No, but I heard UNC is the best for that.
Me:  Where are you thinking about working?  Do they insist on a UNC degree for that?
Student:  I don't know.  I just figured . . . trails off as they realize they haven't done their research.
Me:  You know, I went to ORU.
Student:  I've never heard of that.
Me:  See.  I went to a school you've never heard of, and I've never had a problem getting a job.

The number of times I have had this conversation reveals a belief among students that they must go to the highest end, most competitive, or most expensive university in order to work in their chosen field.  There may be 400 other schools that offer programs in their interests, but they limit themselves to the most difficult one to achieve because of that belief.  The thought has never occurred to them that those 400 schools wouldn't exist if their students didn't get jobs.

Let's get some perspective.  If you want to work at one of those high-end New York law firms that only higher Harvard graduates, then you have to go to Harvard.  If you just want to practice law, there are 205 schools that are approved by the American Bar Association.  You can even find the employment placement stats for all of those schools on the ABA website.  There are almost two thousand accredited nursing schools in the United States, but I have students who insist on putting themselves through the process at UNC-Charlotte because they truly believe it is the only way.  I spent a little time online attempting to find a place that would only hire a nurse trained at UNC-Charlotte, and I was unable to find one.  I do, however, know quite a few working nurses who graduated from Wake Tech's Nursing program.

The key is to match your plans to your goals.  When you visit a college, ask a lot of questions.  I mean, a lot of questions - that's what the guide is there for.  If you are just thinking, "These are pretty buildings," when you make your decision, you aren't going to make the smartest choice.  Some colleges cost as much as buying a house, and you might spend thirty years trying to pay off your student loan debt (Which, by the way, you should pay because you decided to go there and get a degree.  Stop insisting that the college forgive your debt.  They provided a product for a price you agreed to.  They don't owe you anything now; you owe them.  Sorry, soap box.)  There's a pretty good chance that, unless your goals are really extreme, you can go to a much less expensive school and reach your goals without having to live on rice and beans for the first twenty years of adulthood.  You aren't getting married.  You're allowed to change schools.  You will probably change majors because most people do.  If you find your identity in your school, that's idolatry; and you should flee from it.

The best advice I can give (aside from pray for wisdom) is to broaden your scope.  You may discover that there is a school you haven't considered yet where you would absolutely thrive.

The Experience of a Non-Oppressed Woman

I had a different plan for this week's blog, but in light of the Women's March and the things I have seen on my Twitter feed the last few days, I decided to change the topic.  Next week, I'll write about matching your college aspirations to your goals.

If aliens had visited earth for the first time on Saturday, they might have thought there were only two kinds of people on this planet that exist in monolithic, homogenous groups.  They would have thought of men as evil morons who, in spite of the apparent idiocy, managed to rise to power over the other, clearly superior group.  If those aliens managed to look at a Twitter feed, they might have divided the world differently, but still into two groups - those in favor of abortion and those against it.  If they only read the tweets of one of my more liberal friends, they might have thought the two groups were those who are open-minded and socially aware (read that "woke" on Twitter) and those who are close-minded and deluded.

We are not aliens, so we can be more aware than they would be.  We can recognize that there are more than two kinds of people on earth.  There are seven billion individuals on earth.  Each of them has their own story, and that story is only partially based on their gender, their view on a given social issue, their race, their level of political involvement, etc.  We, as individuals are shaped by all of those things, not just one of them at a time.  I would like to tell one of those seven billion stories - my own.  (NOTE:  This does not negate the story of any other woman or minimize their experience.)

I was born forty years ago in Raleigh, NC.  That makes me a Southerner, a Generation X-er, and a city dweller.  I was raised in a largely conservative home, and I attended both private and public schools.  I earned excellent grades, not because I have a superior intellect, but because I worked hard in school and loved learning.  I particularly enjoyed and excelled in science, and not one of my teachers asked how it was possible that a girl was doing that.  I grew up wanting to be an astronaut, and no one told me that a woman couldn't do that - even though I was five before the first U.S. woman was sent into space.

From the first time I learned the word abortion, I chose to be Pro-Life and worked for the NC Right to Life organization when I was thirteen years old.  I have marched for Sanctity of Human Life Day because it is my right as an American citizen to do so.  At seventeen, I became a blood donor, not because someone told me to, but because I made a choice at school one day.  When I registered to vote on the morning of my 18th birthday, I got to choose how I wanted to register, and I chose to be a Republican.  I have voted without coercion for twenty-two years, usually with my party but sometimes not because I have the freedom to vote however I choose.  I voted against Donald Trump's election because I am allowed to do that.  I am not oppressed or told how to vote by anyone.

I chose to take physics, and my female chemistry teacher insisted that I take honors physics, not because I was a girl but because she said it would be a waste of my skills for me not to.  I fell in love with physics and decided I wanted to teach it.  No one ever said to me that a woman couldn't teach physics, and I have been hired to do so in three different schools.

I earned my degree through both the school of education and the school of arts and science at Oral Roberts University.  I took classes in which I was the only female, and I also took classes in which there were no males.  I was held to the same standards in physics, chemistry, biology, and geology as my male counterparts, and I worked just as hard to earn good grades in calculus as the boys.  I never once had a conversation with a professor in which I as discouraged from pursuing my degree.  In fact, it was just the opposite.  I was highly encouraged by all of my professors at ORU, especially those I knew well in the physics and engineering department.  They even hired me to teach earth science labs while the regular professor was on sabbatical the year after I graduated.

I have taught science in three different schools, and in all three of them, my department chair was female.  I have worked under 14 principals and assistant principals, 8 of whom were women.  I don't discuss salary with my co-workers because there is no positive outcome to that, but when I look at my own paycheck, it reflects exactly what was on the contract I signed.  I have heard enough conversations about pay to be certain I am not paid thirty percent less than my equally qualified male counterparts.  I don't believe that anything I have done (or not done) in life is because of or in spite of my gender.

I am single because I believe that is God's plan for me.  One hundred years ago, that would have made me either scandalous or pitiful.  Now, it results in a few questions from my students, little more.  I don't feel unsafe at home or anywhere else without a man by my side, but I'm not reckless about my safety.  If I'd been alive at the turn of the 20th century, I'd have been a suffragette; but by 2017 standards, I am practically a chauvinist.

My blog is generally supposed to be about education, so here's my call to female teachers.  Don't complain to your students that you are treated as unequal.  Show them that you are not.  Modeling equality will always mean more than talking about it.

It is just as sexist to believe that all women believe the same way as it is to believe they are less than men.  In fact, because it is a more subtle form of sexism, it may be even more dangerous.  I am more complex than my gender, and so are you.  Women, feel free to march.  It is your right, earned for you by the blood, sweat, and tears of those women at the turn of the last century.  March for equality but not sameness.  March for your beliefs, but recognize that the woman next to you might believe differently than you do.  Recognize that if there are five hundred thousand women at a march, there are five hundred thousand DIFFERENT stories, not just one story.

What Students Learn From Our Response to the Inauguration

For as long as I can remember, there are people who are upset about the outcomes of elections and refuse to watch the inauguration because "he ain't my President."  I'm not saying that President Elect Trump isn't causing more intense reactions than normal, but I am saying that it isn't new.  From Jimmy Carter, who was President the year I was born until now, I have heard people every four years on both sides claim that this particular person isn't their President.  I have heard people every four years on both sides threaten to move to Canada if the other guy wins; but as far as I know, there hasn't been a population spike in the great North.  I have heard people every four years on both sides complain about how much money is spent on the inauguration and the inaugural balls, but they only complain about it when it is the guy they didn't vote for.  This year, there are some pretty famous people encouraging us to boycott watching the inauguration because of Donald Trump's election, as though it will keep him from being President.  (That doesn't work, by the way.  I go to bed before the ball drop every New Year's Eve, and every year when I wake up, it's the next year anyway.)

As a teacher, I must always be ready to ask, "what do my students learn from my reaction to this?"  I know it never seems like they are paying attention, but they pick up on more than you think.  They listen to adults as we make these statements, and they watch what we do.  When we say, "he ain't my President," we teach them that it is okay to be childish when we don't get what we want.  We teach them not to respect authority as long we don't like that particular authority figure, which in turns teaches them to undermine all authority figures, including us.  When we act as though the world is about to come to an end, we teach them that God's sovereignty is dependent upon the actions of one man.  We teach them that our founders didn't plan very well when they limited the power one man could have.  When we refuse to watch the man we didn't want to win take the oath of office, we teach them that our preferences should override our patriotism.  These are dangerous things to teach our kids, and I believe we need to grow up and like grown ups.

From previous posts, you know that I am not a fan of our President Elect.  As a life-long Republican and Never Trumper, I had some very complex emotions on election night.  I voted third party for the first time in my life and would never have wanted this man to be my President.  But here's the deal; HE IS.  He is my President, whether I voted for him or not because our country only has one President.  He is going to be the President for the next four years because the constitution that governs our country says so.  Since George Washington made the choice to step down after his second term, America has been defined by the peaceful transfer of power.  People like me, who opposed Trump's election, didn't have to be publically killed in order for him to be elected.

Do you want your students (or parents, your kids) to respect your authority, trust God, and believe in the rule of law?  Then, let's start teaching our kids more positive lessons than we did in 2016, and let's start this week.  Let's speak about the office of the President with respect even when we don't respect the man.  In so doing, we will teach them that we respect authority, all authority because that's the only way a civilized society works.  Let's talk about God's plan for the future of our country instead of acting like it doesn't have one.  In so doing, we will teach them to trust something bigger than a man.  Let's teach our kids about the constitution and the wisdom of our founding fathers in restricting the power of President instead of hoping their history teacher will do it for us and then complaining if he doesn't.  In so doing, we will teach them that understanding our government is the responsibility of every citizen.  Let's celebrate what the inauguration represents, as hard as it may be to listen to Trump take the oath.  In so doing, we will teach them that in a democracy, sometimes the other guy wins and that believing in the concept of democracy means we accept that.  Not only do we accept it, we celebrate it by throwing a bunch of big parties, a cost far lower than other countries have to pay to change their government.

When you spend time with kids, for a few minutes or for eight hours a day, God has given you a responsibility.  They watch you in order to learn what it means to be an adult.  If we act like children instead of adults, we abuse that responsibility.  Before I went to bed on election night, I practiced saying, "President Trump" a few times out loud.  It helped my say it the next day when I had students in front of me.  If you are having trouble with Trump, try it; it might work for you.

Trump enthusiasts, you aren't off the hook either.  You have the opportunity and responsibility to teach your kids to be gracious this week.

A Defense of Southern Snow Days

This message is to all the Yankees who look down on Southerners because you don't have snow days no matter what.  I have been listening to this for forty years, and now that social media exists, I have to be mocked while sitting alone in my living room.  Let's set aside for the moment the fact that these people are anywhere but the snowy north when they tell me their stories of traveling to work or school through feet of snow and that I presume they left these places and came to the south for a reason.

I'm tired of being treated like southerners are too stupid to go to work and school during snow and ice.  I would like to speak up in defense of the southern shut down during the snow, even when the amount is small.

Let's use a money analogy.  A wealthy person can buy expensive non-essentials because they have more money than they can spend.  I have students who don't think twice about paying $800 for a pair of shoes while I have to do a cost-benefit analysis when considering $80 shoes.  Because they have a lot of money, they don't think about what to do with it.  A person who doesn't have much money will put a lot of time into their decisions.  After they have met their basic needs, they must truly relish what non-essential items they spend their money on because it may be their last fun purchase for a while.   People who get a lot of snow don't have to value it.  There will always be more.  You can waste your snow day like the wealthy waste money.  You can make it part of your everyday lives because you have it every day.  Your kids build snowmen for recess, and you have outdoor activities because you have to if you are going to live your life.  And, no one in the south looks down on your for it because we know that you can't stop living your lives for three months.  In the south, however, we don't get three months worth of snow.  We sometimes only get three days of snow.  I have experienced years where not one inch fell.  For this reason, we must not waste one single flake.  It may be our only chance to make a snowball until next year.

Now, let's address driving because I'm really tired of being mocked about this.  What you think is us being stupid is actually us being responsible.  It's not just that we don't want to drive on ice; we truly can't.  Here's the deal.  When you get to practice something 60 or 70 days a year, you should be good at it.  It would be weird if you weren't.  Since we only get to practice it 2 or 3 days a year, there is no chance that we will be good at it.  At that point, it is prudent for us to recognize that we do not possess this skill.  It is responsible for us to not put you and each other in danger by trying to employ a skill we do not have.  No matter how good YOU are a driving in the snow, it won't do you any good if I crash into you.  You're welcome.

Yankees, if you want to go out and drive around on ice covered roads, more power to you as you drive around in low traffic.  Since you live in the south now, it would be super helpful if you would just let us enjoy ourselves without your condescension.  If you want to go somewhere, go ahead.  We'll be home enjoying what could be our only snow day all year.

PS - I have no explanation for the milk and bread thing, so you can keep that.